


Roomies

by Venomis



Category: Mayans M.C. (TV), Sons of Anarchy
Genre: F/M, Family, First Kiss, First Time, Jealousy, Love, Love/Hate, Romance, Roommates, Secrets, Trust
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-01
Updated: 2020-06-02
Packaged: 2020-06-05 23:38:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 34
Words: 75,329
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19430827
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Venomis/pseuds/Venomis
Summary: Getting a room mate sounded like an easy way to save money. However, being stuck with the most annoying girl on the planet wasn't what Juice had in mind when he opened his apartment to what he thought was a decent and quiet young man.





	1. A Roommate

It was his sister who had inspired him. During one of their sporadic phone calls she had told him about her cool roommate, who had became her best friend and with whom she had wanted to set him up if he hadn't lived on the other side of the country. 

Even if he had been single, he probably wouldn't have done it. Amelia and he weren't exactly aligned when it came to cool people. She spent her time with decent housewives, he with outlaws. The woman she would set him up with, was probably boring as hell. 

But having a roommate – well that wasn't such a bad idea. He could barely pay his rent; he didn't make a lot of money with his work in the garage and the extra income from the club was always gone before he knew it. Moreover, he barely spent three nights a week in his apartment; he often stayed in the clubhouse and since a few months he could also be found at Daphne's place. 

He however didn't want to give up his apartment. Now and then he needed it; a place to which he could retreat. For that, one roommate was better than a clubhouse full of noisy Sons or a girlfriend who wasn't familiair with the concept of personal space. And especially when that roommate would be calm and organized, he would cause little trouble. It was worth a shot. 

And so, he had signed up at a website providing matches for roommates. He'd had a couple of conversations with people. Some changed their mind the moment they saw his kutte, others did so before the coffee was poured. 

There actually had only been one candidate that had given him a good feeling: Jamie, an architecture student who planned to do an internship not far from Charming and who was seeking shelter for at least eight months. There was a chance that he wanted to stay longer; he wasn't sure yet. It was a mild-mannered young man, a couple of years younger than him, and he had no problems with Juice being in a motorclub and being away for most of the time. 

Juice had trusted his gut and set things in motion. 

And today was the day Jamie would arrive. 

Although his apartment was always organized, he had cleaned the place up once more. Now his roommate was almost there, he started to feel nervous; after all, he was letting a stranger into his apartment. What if he was wrong? What if they wouldn't get along at all?

"Please sit down now." Daphne grabbed his hand and led him to the couch. "You're never this nervous. I still don't understand why you rather have a stranger around than me."

Juice didn't answer. She kept bringing it up and there was no point in starting the same discussion all over again. They were together for four months now. His last relationship was years ago and he didn't want to rush into anything. Living together... he wasn't ready for that. He rather waited a year or so. He needed his own space, he was feeling itchy when someone was near all the time. He really liked Daphne – he didn't want to fuck things up. And if she would have moved in with him now, he would mess it up. He was sure of it. 

Daphne hadn't agreed with his decision to look for a roommate. She had wanted to solve his financial problems in other ways, but he didn't want to burden her with it. Maybe it was male stubbornness – he just wanted to fix his shit in his own way instead of letting his Old Lady telling him how to do it. 

She had kept a close eye on the procedure. She absolutely didn't want a girl to move in with him, which he understood and with which he had agreed. Furthermore she had judged the pictures on trustworthiness and read every email he had received in response to his request. 

She had picked Jamie as well – but she rather took his place. 

"It's just for a couple of months, to try out." He stroked her cheek and smiled. "Maybe I'll be ready to move in with you after this." He winked. 

Her fingers laced with his and she rested her head against his shoulder. "I just hate the thought that we can't make out on this couch anymore without the chance of your roommate walking in on us."

Juice shrugged a shoulder. "Then it's a good thing that your couch is much more comfortable."

A smile crossed her face too now and she leaned into him. Right when their lips connected, the doorbell rang. 

With a growl she pulled back her face. "See? That's exactly what I meant. That Jamie guy is already a libido killer."

They got up, his hand slipped underneath her skirt. "Whose libido? It's not mine he's killing. We're just building up the tension and give Jamie soon a taste of the background music he can expect in the night hours." Teasingly, his finger hooked around the elastic of her panties and chuckling he let it slap against her ass. 

He smirked as she gave a little scream, bumping her shoulder against his. Laughing, they walked towards the hallway where Juice opened the door to greet his new roommate. 

It wasn't Jamie who he found there. 

It was a girl with a wild haircut, painted in baby blue and pink. There was a ring in her nose. Around her stood various suitcases and bags, which made clear what her plans were. 

"Hi!" she said. "I'm Jamie!" 

She flashed them a bright smile. 

Juice's brows furrowed and he looked at his girlfriend in confusion. Her dark eyes told him she wasn't too happy about the surprise – and neither was he, he had to admit. 

"I don't understand..." he muttered. "Who the hell are you?"

"Jamie! I just told you! Come on, help me drag all this shit into the apartment. I twisted my knee when I lifted the suitcase from the trunk of the cab."

Again his eyes wandered to Daphne, who pursed her lips with a sour face. 

"I think you're at the wrong address," she said. "The Jamie who is supposed to live here, is a man."

"I'm just done turning myself into a woman." She started to laugh when they watched her with wide eyes. "No I'm kidding. As it seems, my brother hasn't been very clear when he came here to talk to you. Didn't he tell you that he was here for me, for his little sister? I was in Brasil, was kinda expensive to stop by myself."

Juice gritted his teeth. He was damn sure that the blonde guy hadn't mentioned a little sister who was supposed to live here. He had even introduced himself as Jamie and shared details about his study! 

The girl heaved a sigh. "Great, you gotta be afraid that I'm some kind of identity thief now." She took her wallet from her pocket and showed him a picture of Jamie and – her. "Look, that's me and my brother Roman. He's been here, right?"

"Yeah..." he muttered. "But..."

"See? I told you!" Her bag bumped against his side when she rudely wriggled herself past him and Daphne, looking around curiously. "Oh, I like it! It's a beautiful place. We're gonna have so much fun!"

Juice exchanged a look with Daphne. 

She definitely didn't like it. 

And neither did he. 


	2. Little Princess

Juice realized he couldn't do much but follow the girl into the living room. By the time he was there, she had already opened all the doors and he heard elated screams coming from all the rooms. 

With a face beaming with enthusiasm, Jamie returned. She clapped her hands. "Oh, this is so awesome! I've always wanted a roommate! Ever since my brother left our house it was so boring! We're gonna have movie nights and pyjama parties and all that stuff! You got a problem with hugs? Cause I love to hug!"

Before Juice could say anything, she wrapped her arms around him and held him in a tight embrace. He didn't move – it felt like his brain just stopped working. 

"Well, you got some work to do to master your hugs!" Laughing, she let go of him and threw herself into Daphne's arms. "I don't even know your name!"

Despite the fact that his own face probably hadn't differed much from that of his girlfriend, he had to chuckle because of the long face she pulled. 

"I'm Daphne," she introduced herself when Jamie let go of her.

"Cool!" Jamie hooked her arm around Daphne's. "Hopefully we'll become good friends! You love shopping? I do! Although there aren't a lot of things I don't love!"

A little demeaning, Daphne's glance wandered across Jamie's clothes – she was wearing checkered britches over fishnet tights and a black T-shirt of some band, which was so wide that the sleeves were covering her elbows. 

"Well, shopping ain't a bad idea," she muttered. 

The sarcasm clearly eluded Jamie and she turned around and put a large plastic bag on the table. "I baked cake! But I didn't know what you liked so I made three! Apple, chocolate and cheesecake!" She took out three boxes and piled them up. 

Juice exchanged a look with Daphne. What the hell was he supposed to do with her? He had the feeling that he was stuck with a child now. 

"Where can I find the platters? And whipped cream – you got whipped cream?" With eyes full of expectation as if she thought to find a pile of gold somewhere, she started to open the cupboards. 

"Can you show her the platters?" he asked Daphne. "I uh – I'm gonna make a call."

Daphne nodded when she understood what he meant and walked over to the girl. In the meantime Juice searched for the number of who he thought had been Jamie, headed to the balcony and dialed the number. 

"Hey Juice!" a merry voice sounded on the other side of the line. "Did my sister arrive safely?"

Juice gritted his teeth. He really had no idea what was going on. Why hadn't he just told him that he was looking for a place to live for his sister? 

"Pick her up," he groaned, "we haven't agreed on this."

"Sorry man. There weren't a lot of other options and since you're a son, I figured you could keep her save."

"I'm not a babysitter!" he snapped. 

"She's twenty-one."

"Well that's hard to believe," he huffed. When he had the feeling that someone was squeezing his throat, he took a few deep breaths. He didn't want this – being stuck with such a crazy girl! Suddenly he realized Roman had said something about safety. "Why are you afraid that she won't be safe around someone else? Is she in trouble?"

"No, but she has a knack for getting into it."

Juice ran a hand across his mohawk. This was great. Just great. 

"Pick her up," he repeated through gritted teeth. "I'm –"

"I filled out all the forms. You should have paid a little more attention to them, amigo. Hey, I gotta go. Be nice to James, she's gonna need some surrogate brother." A brief chuckle sounded before the call was ended. 

Angrily, Juice shoved his phone into his pocket. Perfect.

Sighing, he went back inside. Daphne gave him a questioning look and slowly he shook his head. 

"Which cake do you want?" Jamie asked with a unwitting smile. "Although I'm sure there will be enough leftovers to try them all! Unless you have forgotten to buy pie for the party tonight."

"Party?" he repeated dazed. 

"Yes! My welcome party! There's supposed to be a welcome party, right?!" 

With her large blue eyes she stared expectantly at him, sparkling with enthusiasm. 

He couldn't do it. 

He couldn't tell her that she was completely insane and that there wasn't organized a party for her at all. It would feel like he was kicking a puppy. 

"We might need an extra pie indeed! Uh – can I get the chocolate cake?"

Jamie nodded, laid a slice on the platter and took them to the coffee table. 

"What are you doing?" Daphne hissed. 

Juice shrugged his shoulders. "I'll send some prospects and croweaters over. She has to attend at least one SAMCRO party before she leaves, right?" His arm slipped around her waist and he kissed the corner of her mouth. 

"Is her brother picking her up?"

"Soon."

A sudden yell startled them, followed by the clinking of porcelain. Juice grunted as he discovered that she had tripped over one of her bags after which she had dropped the crockery. There was pie everywhere. 

He cursed half-heartedly. "I'm gonna stay with you until she's gone."

He didn't know how he could get rid of her, but she sure as hell wasn't going to stay here.

Jamie got up again, rubbing her knee. Her cheeks were red, clashing with her pink and blue hair – with also whipped cream in it now. 

"Sit down," he sighed. "I'll clean it up."

Suddenly she was silent and stared at her knees. 

Although it was a relief that she kept her mouth shut for once, he felt bad about it. Maybe she just felt nervous. Moving in with a total stranger might not have been her first choice either.

He sat down next to her. Hesitating, he laid a hand on her shoulder. "It's okay. Sometimes I'm a bit clumsy too."

She didn't raise her head. "You don't want me around, do you?"

Her defeated tone cut through his heart. "Of course I do," he said quickly. "If not, we wouldn't have thrown a party for you!"

When she looked skittishly at him, he winked at her. 

Immediately her lips curled up and the enthusiasm returned to her eyes. He patted her knee and went back to the kitchen, where Daphne gave him an angry look. 

"What the hell are you doing?" she hissed. 

"Making sure that's she's not going to cry," he muttered. His arm glided around her waist again and he pulled her close. "I know you didn't want me to have a female room mate but trust me – she's no competition for you." He lifted her chin, kissing her lips. "I love you."

"I love you too."

He smiled. "Can you go to the clubhouse and fix that party for tonight?"

With a sigh she agreed. "Fine. Although I think she's gonna have another cry if I don't try her pie, so I'll go once I've finished one."

He chuckled quietly before kissing her. "Seems like we just became parents of a teenage girl."

"Let's consider that as a test." She rolled her eyes and looked past him. "I don't think she's much younger than I am, tho."

"Hmm... but you're ten times hotter." His hands glided around her hips and he pushed her softly against the counter. 

"Only ten times?" she pouted. 

"Hundred times." He kissed the corner of her mouth. "Thousand times."

"Slimeball." Instead of kissing him back, she pushed him to the side, towards the faucet. "Go clean that mess. As it seems, we got a lot of work to do to make our little princess happy."


	3. Spin the Bottle

"Where will the party be held? In our apartment? Then we have to decorate it, right? And oh, is it a theme party? I have a bag full of customs, I just _love_ theme parties!"

While asking her questions she circled around her room mate until she started to feel a little light in the head. He laid his hands on her shoulders and gently pushed her into a chair. "Please sit down. You make me feel dizzy." He heaved a sigh as he leaned against the kitchen table. "Eh... the theme is rock 'n roll?"

Jamie started to laugh, spreading her arms. "Well, then I'm ready! And where is it? Here? Then I should really unpack my stuff! I brought some posters with me to pimp my room but I can put them on these walls too, to create some rock and roll vibe. And..."

"I'll take you to our clubhouse. At first I planned to do it here... but I just cleaned the whole place and there will be too many people anyway." 

Jamie looked at him, smiling from ear to ear. Oh, he was such a cutie! She felt the urge to hug him again, but she remembered all too well how uneasy he had felt the first time. Hopefully he would loosen up a bit. 

"Jamie... Do you know why your brother pretended to be you? I actually really don't get it..."

"Well... I'm doing an internship half an hour away from Charming. I could also stay at my uncle's place since he's our project leader, but I thought that was gonna be boring. He's old, you know. And there weren't a lot of other rooms available and well, you looked cute on the picture."

Dazed, he blinked his eyes. "You think men with mohawks and head tats are _cute?_ "

She nodded confidently. "Well – not all of them of course. But yeah, you're cute. And handsome! Ha, now I can tell all my friends that I have a super hot roomie! I'll take some sneaky pictures when you get out of the bathroom with only a towel on."

He stared at her, shaking his head as if he wanted to get rid the thought. "Well... don't let Daphne hear that."

"Hmm, she a bit of jealous? She's gorgeous, she must know that she'll have more competition from an golden retriever than from me?" She laughed. "By the way, are you a dog person? I wouldn't mind to have a dog, you know."

"I think we should first see if there's a click between us before we start to think about pets," he muttered. "And you didn't answer my question. Why did your brother pretend to be you?"

"Well, because only men were invited."

"So what made you think I'd be happy with a girl?" His voice sounded annoyed and suddenly there was a deep frown on his forehead. 

"Well – you should be happy with me! I'm fun! I'm the best roomie there is! I can cook and sing and I love playing games and I love like _all_ movies! And you know – it's _so_ old school to discriminate people because of their gender!"

"It's not just that," he sighed. "I... Oh, never mind. I just didn't count on this, okay? But fine – most days I'm not around anyway so you're gonna have to play all those great games on your own. I'm going to take a shower."

Dissatisfied she watched him leave. Man – he really wasn't a bundle of laughs. Maybe it was because of his girlfriend, she looked like she'd never heard of the word _fun._ Jamie decided not to get uptight about it and started to clean out her stuff. 

* * *

Juice couldn't wait to finally go to the clubhouse, so he could finally be away from her for a while. It wasn't that she was unfriendly, but she was so... exhausting and annoying. It really felt like he was stuck with a teenager and he didn't know how to get rid of her in a nice way. 

He knocked on the door. "You ready?"

"Yes!" She left the room. "And? Do I look like I love to party?"

She turned around. She was wearing a black dress with small cherries, and with a cleavage that made her look five years older. 

He wished he had told her it was some Eskimo party. It felt like he was taking his little sister to a party and he didn't want one of his brothers to make out with her. He wouldn't be surprised if she was a virgin. 

When she stared questioningly at him with her large blue eyes, he nodded quickly. "Yeah, you look fine."

He headed to the front door and handed her a helmet. 

"Ooh, we're taking your bike?" She looked so enthusiast that she was about to burst. 

As soon as she sat behind him, she wrapped her arms so tight around him that he could barely breathe. 

"Oh I'm a little scared," she giggled. "But don't hold back! I love speed!"

He wanted to give her a reassuring pat on the leg, but quickly pulled back his hand when he felt her skin. Quickly, he started the bike. 

Even before he had left the street, she pressed her cheek against his back. He felt her waist against his back and the thought that she was sitting so close to him without wearing pants, made him hard. Ashamed he tried to ignore it; although he usually enjoyed fantasizing about women, it felt wrong to think about his roommate like that. She wasn't underage – but it felt like she was. 

The tension didn't leave his body before they reached the clubhouse and Jamie had gotten off the bike. With shining eyes she walked past the row of bikes. "Oh, they all look so cool! But yours is the most beautiful of all!"

Hesitating, his eyes shot to hers, but he saw nothing but honesty in them. When their hands were bumping as they walked over to the entrance, he quickly slipped them into his pockets. Daphne was quick in drawing conclusions and he wasn't in the mood for drama. 

Inside the clubhouse a cheering crowd was waiting. He looked at her from the corner of his eye – her smile was so wide that the corners of her mouth seemed to tear out any moment. 

"Hi everyone!" she yelled without scruples. "I'm Jamie! Juice is my roomie!" She wrapped an arm around his waist. "I'm so happy to meet you all!"

And she was gone. 

She disappeared in the crowd and started to talk to whoever crossed her path. Quickly, Juice went to the bar. 

"Little mistake, huh?" Chuckling, Chibs sat down next to him. "That Jamie's a lot more girly than expected."

Juice nodded to the prospect who handed him a glass. "Well, she's not only more girly. I've never met such an tiresome person in my life."

Chibs smirked. "Told ye it was a bad idea Juicy-boy. Now ye stuck with er."

"I'll stay as much at Daphne's as I can. I'm sure she'll be so bored she's gone within two weeks."

His friend chuckled. "Something tells me she's gonna visit you." He nodded to the side; Jamie danced towards them. Her dance moves looked ridiculous, but it fitted her. "You wanna dance with me, roomie?"

He raised his glass. "Gonna have a drink first."

"And you, unknown man?" She offered Chibs her hand. 

"Sure lassie." He gave Juice a wink. 

Before the Scot walked away, Juice grabbed his upper arm. "She's off limits for all of you."

He didn't know why he said that; he shouldn't care what she was doing. But he did. If she started to fool around with one of his brothers, he was probably the one who needed to cheer her up later. 

* * *

"You can't keep your eyes off her, huh?"

Daphne's wronged voice startled him. Actually he hadn't even noticed that he was looking at Jamie. 

"Well... it's hard _not_ to look at her. She's like... everywhere on the dance floor. You ever seen someone dance like that?"

"All the time. If they're drunk and can't keep time."

Everyone could see that she wasn't dancing in time, but somehow it was fascinating instead of hilarious. She was totally immersed in her dancing, without caring about what other people were thinking of her. 

"Her parents must have dropped her when she was a baby."

Juice laughed softly. "A little jealous?"

She raised her chin, her eyes were smoldering. As always, it made her look more attractive. He slipped off his bar stool to wrap his arms around her. Eagerly, his hands glided to her ass. 

"Why the hell would I be jealous of _that?_ Except for the fact that she _does_ live with you."

His hands slipped underneath her dress. As he discovered that she wasn't wearing anything underneath it, he inhaled sharply. "Fuck baby," he muttered, kissing her neck. "You're right. Nothing to be jealous of." Kneading her behind, he led her through the crowd in the direction of his bedroom for a quickie. He just wanted to round the corner when someone grabbed Daphne's wrist. "Hey! Where you going? You have to join us with the game!"

Dazed, he looked over his shoulder. The moment he saw Jamie, he pulled back his hands as fast as he could. "Game? What game?" he asked. 

"Spin the bottle!"

"What?" Daphne snapped. "How old are you? Twelve?!"

"Maybe an 18+ version," he chuckled softly, making sure Jamie wouldn't hear it. "Fucking instead of kissin'."

"Well, we don't need a bottle for that, do we?" She moved her eyebrows up and down, biting his lip. 

He completely forgot about Jamie, until she grabbed his wrist. "C'mon! This is my party!"

Sighing, he pulled away from Daphne. "Later," he promised her – for again, he couldn't deny these large blue eyes anything. "Fine," he sighed, looking at his roommate. 

His annoyance disappeared when he returned to the others, seeing them all sitting in a circle. "This is fucking hilarious," he laughed. Apparently he wasn't the only one who had succumbed to Jamie's charms, although none of them needed a lot of encouragement to kiss. He sat down between Daphne and Jamie. Everyone was laughing, but Jamie's face was very serious when she explained the game. 

* * *

He should have known. He should have known the bottle would point to _her_ when it was his turn. Wasn't it always like that? That the bottle was pointing to the one you _didn't_ want to kiss? Not that he would make a big deal out of it – it was just a small kiss – but he was sure that Daphne would freak out later tonight, as if he had _ordered_ the bottle to point at her. 

"Hey, that's me right!" Jamie showed him a wide grin and sat up straight. 

She was sitting next to him, so that was easy. Her eyelashes were trembling. Was she nervous? Some of his brothers had already played a game of tongue wrestling, but she would understand that he would only give her a lip-kiss, right?

She pouted her lips, looking up to him from under her eyelashes. He could feel Daphne's scorching glance on the back of his head when he leaned into Jamie, his lips touching hers. They were full and soft and didn't feel like those of a kid at all. 

Quickly she pulled back her head. A blush crept across her cheeks as she glanced at him. "That was my first kiss," she whispered. 

He resisted the urge to tuck a strand of hair behind her ear. Fuck – there was something super cute about her, with that blush on her cheeks. "And? Was it a good one?" he smirked. 

"Uhm, I guess? Oh, it's my turn!" She crawled to the middle and spun the bottle. This time it pointed to a croweater, who took the kiss willingly. 

When the next spun the bottle, he looked to the side. 

Daphne didn't look very happy. 

"C'mon," he sighed. "It's just a game."

"I'm not saying anything!" she snarled. 

He huffed. She didn't need to. 


	4. Jealousy

Sweat was beading on his flat chest. Daphne moaned, she was almost screaming in pleasure. Damn, he was such an animal in bed. Never before she had a lover like him. 

Suddenly, someone pounded at the door. "Hey! Could you please be a little quieter? I'm trying to sleep!"

With a frustrated grunt, Daphne bent her head until her forehead was resting against Juice's. That fucking bitch. Daphne had wanted to take her boyfriend to her apartment, but suddenly that bitch had complained that she was scared about sleeping alone in a strange house. And Juice was way too sweet, letting her pull stunts like that. 

"Then turn on some music if you don't like ours!" Daphne yelled over her shoulder. "Dumb cow," she mumbled. 

Juice chuckled in a way blazing the fire inside her. "You can join us too if you like?"

"Huh? But I thought..." Jamie's voice trailed off in confusion. 

The door was opened and Daphne jumped a little, being totally overwhelmed. She looked over her shoulder to the door; since she was sitting on Juice's lap that bitch wouldn't see him naked anyway. 

"Oh uh... you were exactly doing what I thought you were doing," the girl muttered. She was wearing a bright yellow Spongebob pajama, making Daphne cringe. "This uh... this isn't something I can participate in. It's more a two people thing."

"Nah, with a little bit of creativity we're gonna be fine," Juice said, sitting up a little straighter and winking to the blushing girl. "I'm kidding James. Go back to bed, Daphne will tone it down."

"Okay uhmmm... have fun?" she said a little awkwardly. Then she closed the door. 

Annoyed, Daphne turned to Juice. "You're serious? You want a fucking threesome with _her_?"

He wrapped his arms around her waist. "Not at all baby, I knew it would be the easiest way to scare her off. Before she would start some dumb story about my bedding or whatever boring subject." He kissed her bottom lip and jaw. "Hmm... Where did we leave off?"

Daphne kissed him back, aiming her attention to his hands cupping her breasts. It however was hard to return to her former mood. 

"This was a one-time thing," she grunted. "Next time we fuck at my place and we stay there until you've gotten rid of her."

He rolled her over and positioned himself between her legs. "I think it's exciting," he whispered against her lips. "At least it's something different..."

She gritted her teeth. There was a stinging sensation in her stomach – something convinced her that his invitation hadn't been a joke at all.

* * *

The next two days Daphne managed to keep Juice in her own apartment. When her shift in the lunchroom was over, she went to the clubhouse. She was always a little earlier done working than Juice and she loved to watch him work. Nothing was more sexy than his tensed muscles and the grease on his jaw. 

When he noticed her in the doorway, his face lit up as he flashed her a wide smile. However, only when he was done working he walked up to her and pulled her in a sweaty hug. 

"You're right in time to take a shower with me," he whispered in her ear.

Their fingers laced as they left the workshop and crossed the clubhouse to reach the dorm rooms. She tensed when her eye caught Jamie, who was sitting on the couch with Tig and Chibs. Although she was on the verge of asking what the hell that bitch was doing here, she swallowed her question in an attempt not to direct Juice's attention to her. Hopefully she would be gone once they were done showering. 

* * *

When they returned to the clubhouse after a steamy shower, Jamie however was still sitting on the couch. Juice walked straight towards her. "Hey! What are you doin' here?" The surprise in his voice sounded genuine. 

"Oh, hi!" Jamie waved enthusiastically at him. "I was bored. So I thought: it's time to make some friends!"

She grinned at Tig. Daphne snorted; it wasn't hard to understand what he was hoping for. He wanted to shove his dick in every freak he could find. 

"Secretly she's looking for an Old Man." With a smirk, Tig wrapped an arm around her shoulders. 

Daphne felt Juice's arms tense and looked to the side. His protectiveness was kinda hot – but not when it was about Jamie. 

"Oh, you can be my Old Man, Tiggy! I have no daddy. Maybe you could even adopt me! That would be so cool!"

"He means a different type of Old Man, James," Daphne answered, smiling sweetly at the girl. "The type you have sex with. You know, like Juice is my Old Man."

"Oh." She scrunched her nose. "No, eek! You're _so_ old! You're more daddy material!"

"So you don't have a dad?" Juice asked, sitting down next to her and smoothly leading the topic away from sex with Tig. 

"Well, not really. I have two mothers. And a sperm donor of course, but I don't know who that is." She shrugged her shoulders. "But I've always wanted a dad!"

Right. She was raised by lesbiennes. Well, at least that explained _a little_ why she was so weird. Although there was no doubt in her mind that she'd hit the ground a few times too when she was just born. 

"You come home tonight, Roomie?" Jamie asked. "I'm so easily bored when I'm alone."

"Maybe you should get yourself some friends," Daphne suggested not very subtly. 

"Tomorrow my internship starts, then I'll meet new people! I'm so excited!" She clapped her hands. Her enthusiasm made her voice shriller and Daphne squinted her eyes a little. 

"What internship ye gonna do, lass?"

"An excavation!" Her eyes were beaming. "We're gonna excavate a cemetery, it's super exciting for we don't even know from which culture!"

She was going to dig up skeletons. Of course she was. 

Why was she even surprised? 

"Huh? I thought you were studying architecture?" Juice leaned forward a little , looking genuinely interested. 

"No, my brother did that. He knows nothing about archaeology, so he must have been afraid to spill the beans once you would start to ask questions." She laughed. "I just graduated as an archaeologist a few weeks ago. Well, my bachelor, I want to do some more fieldwork before I sign up for a master. And my uncle leads the excavation, so this was a great opportunity!"

Jamie had obviously attracted the attention of the men; they all started to ask her questions and a little jealous, Daphne leaned back in the couch. 

She couldn't remember the guys had ever asked _her_ a question about her work. 

Not even Juice. 


	5. Lost

There were a lot of things that annoyed him. Her shower concerts, the socks that she left lying around everywhere, the abundance of flowers she took home and placed literally _everywhere,_ her karaoke ritual at 9 AM, her indefatigable enthusiasm and her countless attempts to play games with him. Oh, and the fights with Daphne. She couldn't deal with her weird habits either. Last night she had freaked out because Jamie didn't lock the bathroom door because she was afraid there would be a fire that she would notice too late. He had shrugged, Daphne however had claimed that it was a silent invitation for him to join her while showering. That he hadn't the slightest interest to do so, just didn't seem to land. But Daphne was just the hottest girl in California; there was no way he was going to give her up for a shower with his crazy roommate. Even when he planned to do so, Jamie would probably hit him with shampoo bottles the moment he shoved the shower curtain to the side. Since she'd never had a real kiss, she sure as hell had never seen a naked guy.

His thoughts made him smirk while he entered his apartment. Jamie had told him that she would have dinner with a friend she had met through her internship and that she would be home late, so Juice believed this was a good moment to clean up the mess before his home was really turning into a pigsty. Sighing, he looked at the six pairs of shoes lying around the coffee table, the glasses that were put down _everywhere_ (without a coaster!) and she had forgotten to switch off half of the lights.

Should he discuss this with her? Despite her antics she was a sweet girl and he didn't believe she did it on purpose. She wasn't that observant that she would conclude that he had OCD. Still he found it hard to bring it up – after all, he didn't even know if he wanted her to stick around at all.

Despite the countless things that were bothering him, he disliked the current silence. There had only been three nights he had spent at home, especially because he hadn't want her to be alone every evening. Their nights had been nice, he had to admit; they had been talking on the balcony until 2 AM. Jamie had asked him bizarre questions, bringing up subjects he had never thought about, and especially while smoking some pot he had felt relaxed and enjoyed her company.

He hadn't told Daphne. She was always tired after work; they watched a movie at most, often resulting in sex where after she fell asleep. Jamie was refreshing, open... a change of pace. He closed the dishwasher that he had filled during his analysis and turned it on. His conclusion: she wasn't as horrible as he had thought right after meeting her, even when some of her habits were really annoying. He however knew Daphne wanted her gone and the fact that he had some good conversations with her while being high, wouldn't exactly convince her to let the girl stay. She probably didn't even want him to get high when she was around – she didn't want him anywhere near her at all.

With a sigh he tried to get rid of the heavy feeling in his chest. Maybe Daphne just needed a little more time to get used to Jamie. Maybe things would get better if they spent some time together, without him. Yeah, that might work. Once Jamie was back, he would subtly push her to do some girls stuff.

* * *

Jamie was happy she had found a friend at her internship. Shanty was a year older than she, and since the moment her uncle had berated them when they had both been close to being driven up by an excavator they had been inseparable. She was glad she had found a friend so soon. The girls she had met in the clubhouse only talked about sex and Jamie had nothing to say about that; Daphne clearly didn't like her and most of the Sons were so... old. Juice's company sometimes was fun, but to call him a friend... that went a little too far. He still rather spend his time with other people and she still didn't feel very welcome.

On Friday they were off early, and Jamie had went with Shanty to her house. They had made pizzas while doing a Disney marathon. They knew the movies by heart and were able to sing along with all the songs, and by trying out some weird voices they were both laughing until they were crying.

"You know you can stay here tonight, right?" Shanty said after finishing dinner. "It's quite a trip with public transport. Although I don't know how late I will be home... But there are enough movies to watch!"

"Oh no, I'll be fine!" Swaying her hand, she dismissed the suggestion. "You have a date! Maybe you'll get along so well that you want to take him home – then I'm only a burden. I've already heard my roommate have sex this week, that doesn't need to turn into a habit."

Her cheeks flushed at the memory. Still she felt super dumb for opening the bedroom door when Juice had asked her if she wanted to join them. What the hell had she been thinking? Not for a second she had considered that he was joking. Naive as she was, she had thought they were playing some kind of game. Well – they had... just not the type of games she was used to play. In the dim light she had seen their sweating bodies; Daphne's hair sticking to her face and her breasts had been so perky and... perfect. She had felt a pang of jealousy. Not because she wanted to lay in bed with Juice herself, but because Daphne was a girl that could be on the cover of some fashion magazine. Nobody would ever see her if Daphne was around.

"How is your roommate? You two getting along?" Shanta asked.

"Eh – he's nice. Most of the days he isn't around and sometimes his girlfriend is acting like a bitch. He's in a motorclub."

"Oh – well you better be careful," Shanta muttered. "We got an MC here too, it's a bunch of unsavory people."

"Hmm... I like them. They know how to throw a good party." She glanced at her watch. "I think I should go, right? You have to fresh up."

The two girls said their goodbyes and Jamie wished her friend good luck. In a good mood Jamie started to look for the right bus. As usual, she walked into the wrong direction. After fifteen minutes she decided to use the navigation on her phone. With the device under her nose she tried to find the route, not paying attention to the ground. Tripping over a drain cover, she fell on the ground. Giving a little scream she let go of her phone, which crashed against the paving stones.

"Oh no!" She got on her feet and grabbed her phone.

It was broken.

"Oh no! Shit shit shit!" She shook the device a few times, which obviously wasn't helping. With a sigh, she tucked away the phone in her pocket.

For a moment she considered to return to her friend's house, but she knew in advance that she would never be able to find it back. Instead, she wandered through the streets, hoping to find the right bus stop. She asked some people how she could get to Charming, but their answers were vague.

It had became dark, some buses didn't even go anymore. Since Charming wasn't exactly a vibrant city, she had a feeling she would strand somewhere in the middle of the night. She lacked cash to pay a cab, so she had to find an ATM first.

Optimistically, Jamie walked on. Suddenly she passed some kind of bar with a row of bikes in front of it. On the wall was a large painting of a Mayan symbol. Close to the entrance were two men wearing kuttes, just like the Sons, so this had to be the MC her friend had mentioned.

That was great! They would help her, right? Especially if she told them she knew the Sons. They could surely tell her how to get back to Charming – they must go to biker parties together or something. Enthusiastically she skipped towards the entrance of the clubhouse.


	6. A Ride

Jamie entered the smokey room. The beat made the floor shake; it run even up to the half filled glasses that were everywhere around her. It didn't take long before everyone had turned towards her. Immediately she noticed that her skin was whiter than theirs; apparently this motorclub was meant for Hispanic guys. Then why had Juice not joined this club? Or did every city has its own club and was he bound to the clubhouse in Charming? She really had no idea. Nor did she care.

Just like in Charming, some of the girls cast her dark looks, as if they were afraid to have competition. All these girls however looked like they had just ran from a porn studio, so they were clearly overreacting and she smiled friendly to them.

After taking a few steps, someone swung an arm around her shoulders. "Yo _chiqui,_ who are you gonna give a ride tonight?"

Jamie cocked her head to the side and faced a man who was a couple of years older than she. He didn't look bad, with his dark hair and charming smile. A patch saying _Prospect_ was sewed on his kutte.

"Well ummm actually I'm looking for a ride myself," she answered.

"Oh lemme give you one. Just come with me _princesa._ "

Jamie was a little confused when he took her away from the entrance while he neither walked to the bar.

"I'm sure she means another kind of ride, Kev. She ain't one of those _putas_ outta town."

Jamie had no idea what _putas_ were, but the man sounded friendly so she turned her head to the side. When she looked right into two blue eyes, she felt her cheeks flush. Because of his tan skin they look liked sparkling diamonds and she felt a little mesmerized.

"Where do you need to go, _cariño_? Most of these guys are wasted, dunno why you thought to find a safe ride in this place?" Subtly, he laid his arm around her waist and led her away from Kev. Jamie didn't mind. This man was more handsome than the other and he smelled so good it made her feel light in the head.

"Umm well I dropped my phone and now it's broken so I don't know how to get back to Charming." He lifted his eyebrows when she mentioned the town where she was living. "And since I met the Sons last week and they were really friendly and you're a motorclub too, I thought that you might know each other and that you could maybe help me to get home."

They had reached the bar. He gestured at the barman, and a moment later he put a drink in front of her. His finger slightly stroked her cheek when he tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. A little nervously she bit her lip – she wasn't used to the attention of handsome guys like him.

"You can sleep at my place if you want?" His blue eyes rested in hers. "I think we can have fun tonight, don't ya think?"

Jamie's breathing faltered. What – umm what did he mean? Did he mean fun while hanging out here or fun in his house and maybe even in his bed? "I'm still a virgin," she blurted out.

Her cheeks turned flaming red. Noooo why did she tell him that?! She felt so ashamed she wished she could just vanish.

"You're jokin' right? Such a beautiful girl like you? The guys must be linin' up for you!"

"No not really," she muttered. Suddenly she didn't dare to look at him anymore.

Why did she respond so strange? Usually she would just laugh about such a question, but his presence was so overwhelming that she could barely think.

"And you want to wait for someone special, right?" he asked.

Quickly she nodded, relieved that he understood the hint and didn't push her.

"Then I'll take you to Charming." He gave her a wink which made the butterflies dance in her belly. "But maybe we can talk a bit first? Tell me, what's your connection to the Sons?"

Jamie took a sip from her drink. Now she knew he wanted to give her a ride home, she felt a little more relaxed. "My roomie is a Son," she explained. "I moved in with him only a week ago."

"Oh? What's his name?"

"Juice."

"Hmm... The one with the mohawk, right?"

"Yes!" She flashed him a wide smile. So they did know the Sons. Well, then there was no reason to worry. "I uh... I gotta go to the bathroom."

The man pointed to a small hallway. "You find it there."

Jamie wormed her way through the crowd. Now and then she caught a glimpse of activities making her blush; the few times she had been at the Son's clubhouse hadn't been enough to get used to them.

After going to the bathroom she studied herself in the mirror. Her eyeliner had smudged a bit, so she redid it and kneaded her hair in a better shape. She smiled a few times at herself, hoping to feel more confident around all those sexy ladies, then she returned to the party.

Should she go back to her ride? Her drink was still at the bar, so she went back to her former spot. He was talking with another guy and sent her a wink when he noticed her. The man he had been talking to turned around. He was around his forties, with a round face and a black mustache and goatee. His kutte told her he was the president.

Quickly she drank from her glass when she got the feeling the two men were talking about her, especially when the older one slapped the other on the shoulder as he returned to her.

"You like to dance, _chiqui_?"

"Yes!" she answered enthusiastically. She was way better in dancing than in standing still. He grabbed her hand and pulled her to an area that wasn't overly crowded. Jamie melted while looking into his eyes as he spun her around and pulled her against his chest. There was only one thing crossing Jamie's mind: this was the best night ever.

Jamie was over the moon. Although she usually couldn't stop talking, this biker with his mysterious eyes caused her to be lost for words the whole time, but it felt like they were communicating in a different way than with words. There were lots of little touches, but not in a compelling way and she noticed that her body reacted strongly to him. She imagined that he would kiss her at the end of the night and that they would have a hard time saying goodbye once he had taken her home.

Things went a little different.

During the ride home she held him tight, enjoying every second; when they were in front of her apartment however she suddenly felt so nervous she was afraid to puke. And puke – well that would surely ruin her first real kiss.

"Umm thanks," she murmured as she had gotten off the bike. Nervously she intertwined her fingers.

" _No problema_ , _preciosa_."

Again he showed her a smile, accompanied by a charming smile that set her on fire.

"You wanna have my number in case you end up in the middle of nowhere again? Or if you just wanna hang out with me?"

What – did he want to give her his number? The butterflies in her stomach started the polonaise. Her fingers were trembling when she took a notebook from her bag and gave it to him. He started to write, then he closed the notebook and gave it back.

Again he stroked a tuft of hair behind her ear. Then his face came closer. In shock, she held her breathe when he gave her a kiss. Luckily it was a short one without tongue, otherwise she might have died. With a face that was undoubtedly clashing with her pink and blue hair, she stared at him.

"Sweet dreams, _chiqui_. And ehh... maybe it's better if you don't tell Juice about us. The Sons and we aren't the closest friends right now, I don't think he likes us hangin' out together." His fingers caressed her hand. "And keepin' it our lil secret is much more exciting, _no_?"

She nodded sheepishly.

" _Muy bien, chiqui._ " He leaned into her to lay a kiss on her forehead. "I hope to hear from you soon."

Then he mounted his bike and took off. She watched him until he disappeared from sight; in her stomach fireworks were exploding. With a shining smile on her face she went inside, singing, and when heading to the couch she was even dancing until she flopped down on it.

There was nobody at home, but right now she didn't care. She couldn't tell Juice about the mysterious Mayan anyway. Suddenly she realized that she didn't even know his name! Quickly she flipped through the notebook until she found the text he had written underneath the number.

 _Thanks for the wonderful night, hermosa. Hope to see you soon._ – _Esai_

"Esai," she said out loud to herself. "Esai and Jamie."

She smiled elated. Yes, that sounded cute.


	7. Date Stress

"Hmm... you got plans for today?"

Daphne's head was lying on his chest, with her forefinger she drew circles around his belly button. He raked a hand through her golden locks. Her beauty still overwhelmed him, even when she was just awake she looked beautiful. 

"Dunno... Maybe I stop by at my place."

"Why?"

Juice suppressed a sigh because the atmosphere was changing immediately. He however didn't want to lie about it – he just wanted to go home whenever the hell he wanted, without having to answer for it. 

She had to feel his reluctance, for she turned and started to kiss his stomach. "Ain't this much better than go visiting that crazy chick?"

She trailed kisses down to his cock and slipped her tongue around it. 

"Can you please not talk about my crazy roommate when you're doing that?" The end of his sentence changed into a moan when she took him in her mouth completely. Breathing heavily he raised himself on his elbows so he could watch her. With mischievous eyes she looked up while giving him a hard suck. A little compelling his fingers glided through her hair, guiding her the way he liked it. 

While his climax was building up, his sight became blurry and in a flash the hairs tickling his thighs were pink and blue. 

"Oh fuck," he groaned when a wave of heat rushed over him as he imagined how Jamie would look up to him now. Vividly he could see his roommate looking up to him, licking his cum off her lips. 

'Am I doing it right, Juicy?'

His stomach cramped up as he heard her voice in his head, and a moment later he released into her mouth. Panting he fell back on the bed and closed his eyes, pretending to relax while in fact he didn't dare to look at Daphne. 

He had no idea where that fantasy had come from. He blamed Daphne; she was the one bringing up his roommate right before she started to suck him. He had no such feelings for his roomie, the idea alone was enough to fill him with shame. It felt wrong, especially because he knew those thoughts would shock Jamie. Maybe it was her virginity that let him stray into fantasy; that would stimulate the fantasy of every man. 

Daphne's lips on his distracted him. "And? Did I convince you to stay with me today?"

With a grin he kissed her back while his forefinger glided down her spine. "I don't like to be manipulated, ma'me." He tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and looked her in the eye. "I just wanted to make sure she's okay. Last weekend she was alone too. Just come with me, we'll play some rounds of Mario Kart and leave after an hour..."

With a frustrated sigh Daphne lowered her head on his chest. "Okay fine. But damn, you really talk about her like she's your little sister who needs a babysitter."

Juice's throat felt dry. Those words worsened the shame he felt about his little fantasy. Still he kept his face blank and decided to leave her in that illusion. 

"Kinda feels that way." He shrugged his shoulders. "I remember how much I longed for a family when I arrived in Charming. If I can give her a little bit of comfort, it's a very small effort." He chuckled softly. "A cheerful Jamie is exhausting, but I'm really not interested in having a grumpy one around."

* * *

Right now Jamie was anything but grumpy. She was singing all day, a smile plastered to her face. Not five minutes passed without thinking about Esai; she pictured his enchanting eyes, that charming smile...

"Can you really believe he wants to see me again?" she asked the stuffed crocodile on her bed. "He's so handsome... and there were so many beautiful girls around!" Her fingertip traced her lips, which had been met with his briefly. 

As the front door opened, Jamie jumped up. Finally, Juice was home! He had to tell her where she could find someone to fix her phone so she could send Esai a text. It was Saturday – what if she wouldn't get her phone back before Monday? Maybe he had forgotten about her by then!

"Hi!" she sang when Daphne and Juice entered the room. The butterflies in her stomach seemed to lift her up and she greeted the both of them with a hug. Although she thought that Juice started to get used to her hugs, he didn't even look at her this time. 

Hmm – he obviously wasn't in a good mood. 

Daphne gave her a sweet smile, but there was a look in her eyes making Jamie feel uncomfortable. A little confused Jamie stepped back. 

"My phone's dead," she said. "I dropped it when I was trying to find the bus, there's only a black screen now. You know a place where they can fix it?"

"Just give it to me," Juice answered. "I'll take a look at it."

Immediately the smile returned to her face and she went to her bedroom to get the phone. Juice got himself a set of tools and sat down at the table. 

Jamie took a seat across from him and watched him with fascination as he started to work on her phone. "Yesterday I met a guy who took me home. He gave me his number, he wants to see me again."

Juice looked up and studied her face. "What guy?"

"Oh... just a guy. I couldn't find the bus so I entered a bar and asked around if someone could tell me how to get back to Charming, and then he offered to take me home."

"And he didn't want anything in return? James he didn't let you do anything you didn't want, right?"

She shook her head. "No, he was really sweet! He told me I could spend the night with him but I didn't want that. Then we talked for a couple of hours and in the end he brought me home. And gave me a lip kiss!" She squeezed her arms, it was still hard to believe she wasn't dreaming. 

"Well well... that sounds like our little princess is a little bit in love?" Daphne teased. 

Jamie felt her cheeks glow. "A little. Maybe." She giggled nervously. "But maybe we can do a double date one day! That would be so much fun!"

"Well you better wait and see how that first date goes, darling. Maybe he isn't as nice as you think or maybe you're not the type of girl he thought."

Jamie dropped her eyes. Yeah, that was a possibility too. 

Daphne took her hand and gave squeeze. "Don't worry about it baby. You ever had a date before?"

A little crestfallen she shook her head. "No."

"Well I did. Plenty. I'll teach you all the tips and tricks, how does that sound?"

"Oh that's amazing! You're the best!" She lifted her hand for a high five, but Daphne didn't seem to understand the gesture. Quickly she lowered her arm again. 

"Look, this baby is brand new again." 

Overwhelmed she stared at Juice as he handed her the phone. "Wow, that was so fast!"

"I'm a wizard with electronics." He gave her a wink. "Now, go text your Romeo."

Jamie jumped up from the chair, bumped her knee against the table and limped to her bedroom. Sitting down on the bed, she pulled the notebook with his phone number closer. With her finger she traced the ink, she'd read his short message a hundred times. 

Cross-legged she started to type a text: _Hey, Jamie here! My roomie fixed my phone._ 😊 _I really enjoyed myself yesterday, you still wanna hang out some day? X_

Nervously she stared at the screen, even though she knew it could take hours before he would answer. When the screen lit up, she almost got a heart attack. Her tubes were all tied up and suddenly she was scared to death that he had left a random number. 

_I had a great night with you too. To be honest I can't stop thinking about you, so your text makes me very happy! You have plans for tomorrow afternoon? x_

Jamie experienced such an intense sense of happiness that she yelled with joy. Immediately she jumped up, ran to the living room and yelled: "He wants to meet me! He says he can't stop thinking about me and that he wants to see me tomorrow!" She danced around the table, watching the two with sparkling eyes. 

Juice showed her a smirk. "Well well. You wrapped that guy easily around your finger."

"I can't believe it! And I didn't even flirt with him! We just had a real click! But no – it's already tomorrow!" In panic she turned to Daphne. "What should I wear? What does one wear on a date? I don't know – I really don't know!"

"Just be yourself," Juice answered. 

Daphne rolled her eyes. "Only men come up with such a dumb answer. Come on, we're going to get you something nice. Your very first date is a good reason to buy yourself something new."

Jamie was bouncing around, thrilled that Daphne wanted to join her. That was going to be fun! Maybe they would become friends after all!

* * *

Jamie hadn't slept at all that night. In the middle of the night she realized that she had never answered Esai's text, but at 2 AM she received a text that he still had time for her. Ever since, she was super super nervous. What if she blew it?

She took a deep breathe. No, everything was going to be fine. Daphne had picked this dress and she was the experience expert. Wobbling on her high heels she walked to the mirror. Nervously she bit her lip as she watched her reflection. The silver fabric barely covered her butt and even though it took her nipples from sight, it revealed the inner sides of her breasts; all skin from her neck to her belly button was exposed. She had never left the house without a bra, but she couldn't wear one now. 

No, she didn't feel comfortable at all. It hadn't been any different yesterday, but Daphne assured her that she would get used to it. On wobbly heels she headed to the living room. She had begged Juice to keep her company until she had to leave because she was so nervous and he had agreed. Daphne had to leave, and now Jamie wished she would have given her one more pep talk. 

Her heels made an annoying sounds as she walked to the couch. Juice's eyes were glued to the tv, where a man was running around with a gun. 

"I uh... I gotta go in a minute. I'm so nervous." She bit her lip.

"Hey, everything will be fine," he said without taking his eyes off the screen. "You're an awesome girl and..." His eyes went wide when he looked over his shoulder. "Holy fuck James, you can't leave the house like that!" The controller slipped out of his hands. "Did Daphne tell you to wear _this_?!" His voice sounded dark. 

"Yeah..." she answered in a tiny voice. She crossed her arms in front of her half visible breasts when Juice's eyes were drawn to them and suddenly she felt very uncomfortable. 

He sighed and got up. "Sweetie you really can't wear this. Before you even reach the bus, some asshole will drag you into an alley. C'mon, show me your other clothes." He grabbed her hand and pulled her towards the bedroom. Close to the mirror he let go of her hand. Jamie stared at herself. 

"Is it because of my body?" she asked softly. "Would it have looked good on Daphne?"

Juice turned around and lifted her chin so she was forced to look him in the eye. "Hey, there's nothing wrong with your body, Jamie. You're a real beauty. But not – not everyone needs to see all of it, okay? A date is meant to get to know each other. If you wear this, every man will think he doesn't need to wait until his bedroom before he can have his way with you." He stroked her cheek. "And you deserve much better, James."

Jamie looked into his brown eyes. The look in them was so intense it made her blush. For a few magical seconds their eyes locked. Only when she was almost choking, she realized she was holding her breathe. In her stomach the butterflies were tumbling over each other. _Hey, it's just Juice,_ she said to them. _There's no need to flap your wings so enthusiastically!_

Her mind wandered off to Esai and she started to panic again. "I'm going to miss the bus! I don't know what to wear, oh this is a disaster!" Tears jumped into her eyes. How typical! Her first date and every single thing went wrong!

"I'll get you to Oakland." Juice walked to the wardrobe and flipped through her dresses. "Here, wear this one. It looked great on you when you wore it to your welcome party." He turned towards her. She had already stepped closer and her cheeks flushed when they bumped into each other. 

A tear itched down her face, she felt so stressed and also hurt because Daphne had made her believe wearing such a horrible dress was normal. 

"Hey, everything will be fine." Juice wiped the tear from her cheek and smiled. "I'll give you a ride to Oakland and you're gonna have a great day, okay? Now, I don't want to see another tear, you got that? With that smile of yours you will easily win his heart, I'm sure of it."

Gratefully she smiled at him. "Thank you, Juice." 

"Hey, anything for my roomie." He gave her a wink and headed to the door. Right before he left, he turned around. "And a good roomie makes sure that date of yours meets the demands of a decent young man. Before your brother is going to kick my ass."

She chuckled softly, then he closed the door and she started to change clothes. 

Only when she looked in the mirror again, feeling much more comfortable, she realized what Juice had said. 

He wanted to see her date. And Esai had specifically told her that Juice couldn't know about them.


	8. Restless

Even though it was warm outside, he had pulled a hoodie over his kutte. He didn't like to hide who he was, but riding through Oakland with the Reaper on his back was asking for trouble. The last thing he wanted, was attracting the attention of the Mayans. 

As they were nearing the city, Jamie's grasp around him tightened. He felt how nervous she was and without really thinking about it, he brushed his thumb across her knuckles to calm her down. The ease with which he made that gesture shocked him and quickly he moved his hand back to the handlebars. That daydream of yesterday was still messing with his head. He hoped it wouldn't become a habit, for he already noticed how different he looked at her. There was no way to deny it; that dress hadn't left much to his imagination and it had made him hard as hell.

The memory triggered the same reaction in his pants and he shifted a little uncomfortably. 

He felt relieved when he arrived at the busstop where her date would pick her up. A little stiff she glided off the bike, after all it had been a long ride. Now he was standing here, he regretted not taking the car. _Sons of Anarchy_ was painted on the side of his bike, which he tried to hide by remaining seated. Luckily his helmet took away his tattoos from sight. Even if he would walk into a Mayan, he hoped it was clear that he wasn't here to provoke anyone.

His eyes glided to Jamie, who was nervously picking her hair while looking through the street. It looked cute, he had to admit. He was curious to the type of guy she'd fallen for. 

It didn't take long before a man walked over to them and wrapped an arm around Jamie's waist. "Hey babe." He kissed her cheek, then he looked up to Juice and smirked. There was a provoking glance in his eyes, as if he wanted to encourage Juice to speak up. 

"Umm, this is Esai," Jamie said. 

Juice nodded slowly while he studied the man's face. His dark hair had been combed to the right and looked a bit messy, and from below thick eyebrows he stared back at Juice. His eyes were dark brown, almost black. In his right ear he was wearing an earring. 

"And this is Juice, my... ride," Jamie said when he didn't introduce himself. 

"Okay... _Juice_."

Esai's lips curled into a mocking grin. Juice wanted to pull Jamie on his bike again and leave, he had a bad feeling about the guy but it wasn't like he could _really_ say something about it. However, as hyperactive as she had been before, she clearly felt awkward now and she didn't look as much in love as he had expected. 

"Give us a minute, then I'll take off," he told Esai. 

"Whatever." The Hispanic guy stepped back and lit a cigarette. 

His nonchalance made Juice's blood boil. Ever since he was a Son, punks like he barely dared to look at him. 

Jamie came closer and looked questioning at him with her large, blue eyes. 

He wasn't sure how to put this bad feeling into words. "Is everything all right? You don't look so happy," he asked, worry lacing his voice.

She shrugged her shoulders. "I'm just nervous. It will get better."

"Okay... Just call me if you need me, okay?"

She nodded.

He feigned a smile. "Have fun."

"Thank you!" Her old enthusiasm returned and she gave him a hug. For a moment his forehead leaned against hers, and as if a part of him wanted to claim her, he kissed her cheek. Or at least that was his intention, Jamie however turned her head a little so his lips ended upon the corner of her mouth.

With wide eyes she stared at him and he felt how a red glow took over his face.

"I thought I give you a warming up." With a stupid grin and a wink he tried to take the tension away. "Although I'd secretly meant to kiss your cheek," he admitted in a low voice. 

Esai didn't need to know that.

Jamie chuckled, then she nudged his shoulder. "Okay, you can leave now."

Once more his glance slid to Esai, who raised his eyebrows. He clenched his teeth, it took him a hell of effort not to punch him in the face. Hopefully Jamie would be disappointed in him by the end of the day, before he would hurt her. Despite the bad feeling he had, he told himself that Jamie was a grown woman and that the guy had taken her home yesterday too without trying to hit on her. Maybe it was his presence which turned him into an asshole. 

He started his bike and took off while waving at Jamie. 

* * *

The moment Juice had left the street, Jamie stepped away from Kev. His arm around her felt very uncomfortable. Right now she only wanted to feel Esai's arms around her. A little in panic she had texted him that Juice would drop her off and that he wanted to approve her date, where after Esai had told her he would send his friend to pick her up. 

Pretending to be in love with Kev had made her feel very awkward and Juice had clearly picked up on that. There had been an obvious tension between the two men, which convinced her it was for the best that Esai had stayed away. 

As she rounded the corner, she saw him sitting on the edge of a sidewalk cafe. Immediately her heart started to beat faster and all thoughts about Juice and Kev vanished. Right before she reached him, he looked up. Immediately a wide smile spread across his face, which her own lips mirrored. 

He got up from the chair and stepped away from the table to greet her. A little nervous she picked at her hair. How should she greet him? He however took the initiative himself; the moment she felt his hand around her cheek her legs felt like jelly. 

"You look _muy bonita, cariño_." His thumb stroked her cheek and he kissed her lips. 

Jamie's cheeks were glowing and in a whim she wrapped her arms around him and held him close. His perfume was intoxicating, her imagination started to run as she wondered how a real kiss would feel. Would that happen today? Her nerves were waving through her body.

"Did everything go well with Juice? No suspicion?" Esai asked after pulling back a chair for her, while he waited until she was seated before he sat down himself. 

She liked how he behaved like a gentleman, she hadn't expected it from him. "Well, it was a really strange situation," she admitted. As she looked over her shoulder, she saw that Kev had already disappeared. "There was a clear tension between both guys." She shrugged her shoulders. "But well... I'm here now!"

He held her glance. "Yeah, you're here now..." With a smile, he shoved his hand on top of hers. "What do you want to drink?"

"Umm, a coke is fine."

As if everyone was on his beck and call, a lady came to their booth within a minute, taking their orders. In the meantime his fingertips caressed the back of her hand, up to her wrist. It tickled and awakened a new kind of warmth. She didn't know what to do with it, and as she usual did when she felt uncomfortable she started to talk. 

"What are we going to do today?" she asked curiously. 

"Whatever you wanna do, _chiqui._ You strike me like a person who likes to try new things, eh?"

She nodded enthusiastically, doing new stuff was always fun. 

"Then I'll come up with some things you've probably never done before." He lifted her hand, kissing her knuckles, slowly and one by one while keeping her glance. As she was staring at his sensual lips she started to sweat. Suddenly she imagined them on other body parts and she felt her cheeks turn flaming red. 

He lifted the corner of his mouth as he saw her flushing cheeks, then their fingers laced. "Don't worry, _preciosa._ If you don't like things, just tell me. I'm creative enough to come up with something else." He gave her a wink.

* * *

The whole ride home it felt like there was a pit in his stomach. Hoping to find some distraction he went to the clubhouse. Although there were two missed calls from Daphne, he wasn't in the mood to talk to her; he was pretty pissed about the way she had treated Jamie and the last thing he wanted right now was a fight.

Daphne however didn't get the hint or she didn't care about it; two hours after her last call she entered the clubhouse. 

"Why are you ignoring me?!"

"I really am not in the mood for your bullshit."

She stared at him in disbelief. " _What?!_ What the hell are you talking -"

He grabbed her arm and dragged her to his bedroom. He had no interest in the whole club hearing what she had done, he already felt ashamed enough. 

"What the hell were you thinkin', lettin' her put on that dress!" he snapped the moment the door was closed. 

Her eyebrows shot up. "Jeez, don't get all riled up. It was just a joke."

"A joke? That dress was almost screaming 'rape me'!"

Daphne rolled her eyes. "C'mon, you really think someone wants to touch that ugly girl _voluntarily_?"

"She's not ugly," he answered fiercely. "And you know it damn well, otherwise you wouldn't behave like some jealous bitch." 

She looked at him with a dark look. "So you _do_ think she's pretty?"

"I never said she ain't. There are dozens of pretty girls around here and that never bothered you? What the hell is your problem with Jamie?"

Her jaw tensed. "You really can't see the problem? Well maybe it's because you can never keep your eyes off her! Was it turning you on, seeing her in a dress like that? Couldn't you wait to lay your own hands on her, huh? Or does it bother you that another man gets the change to see so much of her?"

"He won't, cause I made her change her clothes," he answered grumpily. "And I'm not the jealous one here."

"No? Then why that long face at the bar?"

He gritted his teeth. How he thought about Jamie's date was none of Daphne's business. It had nothing to do with jealousy, he just didn't trust the guy at all. 

"How many times have you told me there wouldn't be a girl in your house? And even when she showed up, you assured me she was no competition." She scoffed. "And now you've fallen for her. For the first whore who forced herself on you."

"I haven't fallen for her. But I gotta admit that the bitch you turned into ever since she's here ain't making my heart beat faster either."

"Jeez Juice, don't be so hysterical! It was a _joke._ When did you lose the ability to laugh?"

"There was nothing funny about it. You know how insecure and sensitive she is and still you encouraged her to dress up like a whore, telling her that's normal."

"She's fucking twenty one years old, Juice. Stop pretending she's a little girl. If she put on that dress, she liked it. I didn't force her to wear it, I only told her it could become an... interesting evening if she wore it." She stepped closer to him, her hands gliding across his chest. "Come on Juicy... Your new roommate can't be the reason we're fighting now, right?"

She was about to kiss him, but he turned his head to the side and pushed her away. "Until you've apologized to her, I have no interest in seein' you."

He turned around, slamming the door behind him.


	9. The World is Gold

There were way too much stimuli for her. Loud music, flashing lights, yells and laughter. It made her zappy, she was wildly moving the joystick and screamed against the machine. Every time she stumbled upon a ghost it felt like she was chased by a monster herself. An arm glided around her waist and from the corner of her eye she noticed a glass. Waving with her hand, she told Esai she was busy; she really had a high score!

"Oh no!" Angrily, she hit the machine when she was game over.

"Damn, you are one fanatical girl huh?" She wanted to start over, but his fingers glided around her wrist and turned her to the side. "First a drink, _chiqui._ Is hot in here."

Jamie nodded and took the glass. After a few gulps she'd downed the coke; she'd drank so hastily she burped. Her face turned flaming red as she muttered an apology.

Esai showed her a boyish grin as he shrugged his shoulders, then he laid an arm around her waist and walked a bit. "You tried Donkey Kong?"

She shook her head - she hadn't tried a lot of games except for Pac Man. As they'd found two empty machines next to each other, Esai slipped a coin in both of them.

"Winner picks the next game?"

Jamie nodded without looking to the side - she didn't want to be distracted by him, she needed to win!

The two enjoyed themselves for two hours in the game hall. Jamie had the time of her life - most games she had only played on the computer when she was a little kid. She had never expected a date could be so much fun! However, the noise and lights made her head feel heavy and she started to feel tired.

Esai picked up on it immediately. "Time for some fresh air?"

She nodded, rubbing her temple.

"Or wait!" His hand glided into hers and he pulled her towards a corner with claw machines. "My girl ain't gonna leave without a present."

Jamie's cheeks flushed as he called her his girl. Warm bubbles ascended from her stomach, making her more aware of the grasp of his hand.

"Which one do you want?"

She looked at the stuffed animals, almost pressing her nose against the glass. "Pikachu!"

She forgot about Pikachu instantly when he stood so close to her that his chest was leaning into her back. His arms slipped around her as he moved his hands to the buttons, so she was trapped in his embrace. Jamie thought she would faint when his chin rested on her shoulder while he was maneuvering the claw to the right place.

Jamie had no idea how many times he tried. Secretly she kept hoping that he would fail, so he would keep holding her this way. His warm breathing across her skin made her shiver and when his stubbly cheek scraped across her jaw she feared her legs would collapse.

However, when he managed to win Pikachu she was still cheering for him. She took the fluffy toy from the container and wrapped her arms around it as she turned to Esai. Tinglings danced across her skin as she looked into his blue eyes. In a whim, she gave him a quick kiss on the cheek.

"Thank you," she said softly. It was such a sweet gesture - so romantic!

He gave her a wink. "C'mon, lets find a quiet place."

Heat waved over her. Did he want to be alone with her? Maybe he wanted to kiss her! She however wasn't sure she dared to kiss him; what if she accidentally bit him?"

"You hungry?"

Jamie shrugged her shoulders. "I can eat all day long."

He lifted the corner of his mouth. "Well... it certainly doesn't show."

Blushing, she tightened her grasp around Pikachu. What should she answer?

"What are you hungry for?"

"Hmm..." Jamie thought about it for a while, and as usually she just blurted out the first thing popping up in her mind. "Pancakes!"

He chuckled. It made her feel insecure - that wasn't exactly date food, right?

"Perfect! I got an idea."

He grabbed her hand and showed her another smile making her insides feel mushy. He spread his fingers so hers fell between them, making her heart beat faster. Was this really happening? Her confidence was growing as she caught some jealous glances of other girls. Esai wasn't just super handsome, he had this bad boy vibe that was messing with her head.

They entered a grocery store. From the cooler Esai took a pack of pre-cooked pancakes and on his way to the counter he grabbed a bottle of wine and a syrup bottle.

"Oooo are we going to picknick?" she asked enthusiastically

With a grin he nodded.

* * *

Esai led her to his bike, telling her he would bring her to a special place. Jamie sat down behind him. Although she'd love to snuggle up to him until she would feel his muscular back against her chest, she had to hold Pikachu between them since he was to large to fit into the topbox.

A fifteen minute ride took them out of Oakland. Pulling over at an overgrown lot, Jamie got off the bike.

"I used to come here all the time," he said. "But the last time was years ago." His lips curled into a nostalgic smile.

Their fingers laced as they headed to what turned out to be an abandoned railway station.

"Oh wow!" Abandoned buildings had always intrigued her and she looked around enthusiastically. Birds flew up as they walked underneath large arches. The walls were covered with graffiti and she studied the images fascinated. Passing a few colored skulls, her hand stroked the beautiful painting of Gizmo. "This is so cool... It's beautiful."

As she took in the details of the cute gremlin, Esai's arms slipped around her. For a moment his lips touched her shoulder, making her gasp for breathe. A sudden fear that he wanted to kiss her now made her panic, but he left it at that one kiss and rested his chin on the top of her head.

"It's been years since I've touched a spray can."

"What?" she asked bewildered. "You mean _you_ made this?"

She turned around. To her surprise he looked a little shy, as if he hadn't shown his creative side to a lot of people.

"About ten years ago," he told her. "I was sixteen, seventeen. Me and my guys used to hang out here."

"It's beautiful. You really stopped? I mean - not even sketches on paper anymore?"

He shook his had. "Was no time for bullshit like that, my dad said. I had to focus on the club."

They walked to the railroad and sat down on the edge, their feet hanging down.

"Well this ain't a romantic picknick in the woods but this has a certain flair too, right?" His arm glided around her, by which his kutte crept up a little. With wide eyes she stared at a gun behind his waistband.

Suddenly all kinds of dark images invaded her mind. Nobody would ever find her in such a remote place! He could do with her whatever he wanted - he could just kill her and nobody would ever know!

"Are you going to kill me?" she whispered.

He frowned. " _What?_ "

Frozen, she stared at the gun. The moment he realized where she was looking at, he took the gun from his waistband.

"Calm down, _chiqui._ " He laughed softly. "Of course I'm not going to kill you. Why the hell would I want to kill you?"

Casting her glance at the ground, she shrugged her shoulders. "Why else would you take a gun to a date."

"I'm in a motorclub baby. I'm going nowhere unarmed; none of us do. Your roommate is always carrying one too, you never noticed?"

Slowly, she shook her head.

"We just have a lot of enemies and since my father is the club's president, he gave me a gun at a young age. It's to protect myself..." He raised his hand, his fingertips slightly brushing her cheek. "Or to protect the ones I care about."

The blue of his eyes seemed to swallow her. And then, out of the blue, she started to laugh. Had she _really_ thought that he was going to hurt her? He was way too sweet for that!

"Sorry," she hiccuped. "I guess I've seen too much horror movies." Past him she peeked at the weapon. "I never saw a real one."

"You wanna hold it?"

She hesitated. "What if I shoot myself or you accidentally?"

"Ain't gonna happen. Just keep the safety on." He handed her the black weapon.

Jamie turned it around in her hands, her fingers gliding across the cold steel. A wave of adrenaline crashed over her as she aimed the gun at the other side of the railroad and pretended to shoot at a monster.

When she returned the weapon a little later, she felt much more comfortable around him. Pulling his bag closer, Esai took the pancakes from it and ripped open the packaging.

"I assume you like cold pancakes too?"

"Like I said - you can feed me anything." She took the syrup, spread it across the pancake and rolled it up, hoping she wouldn't spill it. "This gotta be the first date where you have dinner without plates and cutlery, right?" Chuckling she lifted the pancake and started to eat.

He smirked. "Yea, my ex would have ran for the hills if she had to eat like this."

He rolled up his own pancake and started to eat too. There was something relaxing about it; just sitting here instead of in some fancy restaurant.

"Although I do miss a bit of background music." He took his phone from his pocket. "So... what music do you like?"

"Nothing that fits a romantic dinner," she chuckled.

He shrugged his shoulders. "If we're doing this in a different way than other people, we'll just do _everything_ different."

His eyes met hers and for a moment she forgot to breathe. She liked him so - so much. "Well umm my favorite band is Hollywood Undead."

A moment later 'We are' left the speakers of his phone. A little nervously she bit her lip as she awaited his reaction; deep down she really wanted him to like her music taste. It was a mix between metal and rap and the lyrics were kinda explicit - although it fitted his lifestyle.

"I like it," he said. "Have never heard something like this before. But that doesn't surprise me, never met a girl like you before either." He dropped the pancakes on her lap. "Take another one. Lemme see if I can open that bottle of wine without a corkscrew."

As Jamie rolled up another pancake, she watched how Esai took a knife from his kutte and stuck it into the cork, where after he turned it around. After hiding the knife again, she handed him the pancake.

"Since we don't have glasses to clink we're gonna have to share the bottle." He handed it to her.

Jamie took a swig, glad that he had picked a really sweet one. As he wrapped his arm around her again, she lowered her head on his shoulder. "I really didn't know what to expect from this date but this is just perfect."

"Almost perfect..."

Questioning, she looked up. He turned his face towards her and for a few seconds they stared into each other's eyes. Her scalp started to tingle as he lifted his hand and stroked her cheek. Then he leaned into her, pressing his lips softly against hers. Her stomach was a bundle of nerves. What now?! She tried to remember everything she knew about kissing, but the tender way his thumb caressed her cheek distracted her completely. By reflex, she explored his lips too. As the tip of his tongue glided across her bottom lip, she opened her mouth a bit so he could find his way in.

As nervous as she had been; she relaxed as he took the lead, swirling his tongue around hers, his fingers traveling across her jaw and neck. Heat pulsated through her whole body. Her hand moved to the back of his head and raked through his hair as their kiss continued until they were getting out of breathe.

"Now it's perfect," he whispered.

* * *

"I don't wanna go home," Jamie sighed. It was close to midnight, but there was no place she'd rather be than here in Esai's arms. The whole afternoon and evening had been so perfect it felt like she was living in a fairy tale.

"Then we stay?" His hands, which had been resting in her lap, glided upwards, caressing the thin fabric of her dress, igniting something heavy and hot inside her. She wanted to know how it would feel when his hands would roam across her breasts, but at the same time she was relieved he hadn't touched her like that yet.

"You mean you wanna sleep right here?" she laughed.

"Yea, why not? It's a warm night and if we get cold we're gonna build a fire or something." He nodded to the other side of the railway. "Plenty of grass over there."

She looked over his shoulder, his eyes told her he was serious. Butterflies swarmed through her stomach; watching the stars together, could it be even more romantic?

"Sounds awesome," she smirked.

He smirked back, giving her a kiss. "I love that you're up for anything. I can't think of many girls who would call spending the night in the grass awesome." His thumb traced her bottom lip. "I really like you, Jamie. You're so different from all other girls I know."

A bit shy she pressed her lips together. "I - I really like you too."

Their lips merged again.

As she opened her eyes a little later, it felt like the whole world was covered in gold.

* * *

For Juice, the world was anything but gold. He had forced himself to sit down on the couch, but after every few minutes he stood up to look through the window.

At 1 AM, he decided to call her.

She didn't answer.

At 2 AM she still didn't answer.

"Fuck," he grunted, biting his knuckles. "Fuck!"

What to do now?! The fucker had harmed her - he was sure of it, he had known it all along. His breathing went uncontrollably fast and again he started to pace around the apartment.

Again he called her, pressing the device to his ear. "Please James - please pick up!"


	10. Intuition

Juice knew there was no point in leaving _another_ message, but he couldn't stop himself. Somehow it relieved him a little, as if he could worm his way into her mind by sending enough thoughts to her. Again and again he saw flashes of Esai's smirk and the mocking glance in his eyes as if he knew something Juice wasn't noticing. 

Since Juice had the feeling that all his thoughts were suffocating him and the oppressive pain in his chest was frightening him, he knew he needed to talk to someone. The only other options to stop the countless dark scenarios were a bottle of booze or a handful of pills. And those wouldn't help him to find Jamie. 

But to who should he turn for help? He could call her brother, maybe Roman could convince him that Jamie wasn't as innocent as she claimed, or maybe she was secretly very skilled in some martial art so that she knew how to defend herself. He however thought there was a bigger chance that Roman would freak out when Juice told him about his gut feeling when he met her date, and he thought his shame would only mess up his brain more. 

Going to Daphne was the second thing crossing his mind. However, knocking on her door right after their fight was bruising his ego. She would probably only claim that he had feelings for his roommate, and earlier today she had already shown that she had no problems with the girl being raped. His shoulders tensed as he wondered if Daphne was part of the conspiracy. Was she so pissed about him not sending the girl away that she had decided to get rid of her herself? 

"Shit man, you're fucking crazy," he complained to himself. He was really starting to get paranoid. Rushing to the kitchen he turned on the water and splashed it into his face. He was a Son, he knew how to handle stressful situations. Finding people was his _job._

He sat down behind his laptop and hacked into Jamie's bank account to see her last transaction. The last time she'd bought something was a couple of days ago, that wouldn't be of any help. Esai would probably pay for everything, so maybe he was the best lead. 

For half an hour he studied the citizens of Oakland, but Esai didn't show up. For a moment he stared at the picture of Esai Alvarez as he came across it in the police database. The name was probably a coincidence, but he noticed he paid more attention to it than to the other guys. What if there had been a Mayan who had seen him dropping her off? Or what if her date himself was related to the club? There had been no tattoos connecting him to the Mayans, nor had he worn a kutte. But the arrogance in his eyes... – the idea didn't leave his mind. 

Still he shook off the thought. What the hell would a Mayan want with Jamie? She knew nothing about the club, she barely knew the members... Even if they had kidnapped her to get something done by the Sons, he would have heard from them by now. No – he had to think out of the box; outside the paths he usually traveled, leading straight through the world of gangs and motorclubs.

 _You gotta talk to someone else, Juice._ Before he was really wrapped up in his chaotic thoughts. Then he wouldn't be of any help anyway. 

Despite the late hour, Juice knew he could knock on the door of all his brothers, but Chibs was the one he trusted the most. If he saw his panic, he wouldn't make fun of him. Furthermore the man had a lot more life experience than him, so maybe he could calm him down or tell him what to do. 

* * *

After ringing the doorbell, Juice shoved his hands deep into his pockets to keep himself from fidgeting. He didn't know if he would succeed in expressing his unrest. He couldn't explain what he had felt once Esai and he had looked into each other's eyes; it was just an instinct he had developed during all the years he'd lived on the street. 

Nobody opened the door. Juice grabbed for his phone and called his brother, wishing he'd done so hours ago. It just felt like he couldn't think straight anymore. 

"Aye? Ye 'kay Juicy?" Chibs sounded absent – he had clearly just waken up. 

"Are you home? I'm at your door."

"What? Why?"

Before Juice could answer, he heard a grunt and a cracking sound, then the call was ended. A few moments later the door was opened. 

"Well? Come in lad." A little impatiently Chibs gestured to the hallway.

Juice nodded and quickly went in. 

"It's Jamie," he said, even before he had reached the living room. "She didn't come home last night. I tried to call her for hours but she doesn't pick up...'

"The lass went somewhere?"

"To Oakland. She had a date." He sat down on the couch, trying to keep his foot still which was tapping nervously. 

Chibs sat down next to him. He was only wearing his boxers, but both men knew each other too well to care about their clothing. "Juicy... She's on a date. Ye really can't imagine what the lass is doin' right now?" A smirk crossed Chibs' face. 

"No, she ain't like that," Juice answered steadfast. "She's a virgin, she hadn't even kissed before today.""

Chibs shrugged his shoulders. "Maybe she believed it was time to change something about that? Don't worry so much lad. She's just havin' too much fun to pay attention to her worried roommate."

Juice suppressed a sigh. "I met her date when I dropped her off in Oakland, after she'd missed the bus. He wasn't okay Chibs. Jamie is too much in love to see it, but his face told me her feelings weren't mutual. And I can't find that asshole anywhere, I tell you something is fucking wrong." He got up again and started to pace. "I don't know what to do. Fuck man. It felt so wrong to leave her with that punk but I did shit and..."

"Aye, calm down kid. Ye might be 'er roomie, but she ain't yer responsibility." Chibs grabbed his arm to make him stand still, giving him an intrusive look. "Ye really sure this ain't 'bout somethin' else? Can think of another reason why her date would feel like a threat..."

The piercing look in his friend's eyes gave him an uneasy feeling. "What do you mean?"

"Maybe ye just don't like the idea of her spendin' time with another lad?"

Annoyance seeped into his heart. _Really? You too?_ "I'm not jealous man. That's not the point. The moment I looked into the guy's eyes I just saw he was an asshole and she's so... so _trusting_ – she will believe every lie! And her brother – her brother told me he'd wanted her around a Son because she had a talent for getting into trouble and..." He fell silent. "You think there was more than that? The whole way he saddled me with his sister was so... weird. What if she really is in trouble and someone's after her?"

"If she's really in danger, he wouldn't have left his little sister with a biker he didn't know," Chibs reasoned. 

"Why not? Maybe he assumes we live by a certain code and that we don't abandon innocent girls when they are in danger..."

He had met Roman – he looked like a social guy, but not someone who was able to kill people to keep a loved one save.

"Maybe she doesn't even know... maybe he's the one in trouble, sending her away to keep her safe..."

"I think you should focus more on the facts instead of these wild theories, Juicy."

"These are the facts: she's gone, she doesn't answer her phone and she had a date with a first-class asshole," he grunted. He pulled his phone out of his pocket. "I'm not going to ignore my intuition again."

He looked for Roman's name, pressed the green button and waited impatiently. After three attempts the man finally woke up; a second later he heard a sleepy "Yeah?"

"It's Juice." He took a deep breathe. 

"Hey. It's 3 AM... Is Jamie in trouble?"

"Yeah. She had a date and she's still away, she doesn't answer her phone. I met her date and I don't trust him at all... but there wasn't much I could do about it." He rubbed his forehead, hating the fact that he hadn't intervened. "I need to know if she's in danger, Roman. Why did you want her to live with an armed man? Why so far away from your hometown? You're trying to hide her from someone? Is she in danger?"

It was silent for a while. 

The hesitation told Juice enough; there indeed was something he was keeping from him. 

"Roman? If you want me to protect her I need to know against who. Fuck – if I'd known this I'd never let her leave in the first place!"

"She doesn't know – and she can't know."

"Can't know what?" he snapped. 

"She has a tattoo with classified information." 

Juice squeezed his eyes. " _What?!_ You really think this is the best moment to joke around?"

"It's the truth."

"Then what kind of information is it? How many people know about it? _Who_ knows about it? Where did she get it?" More and more questions crossed his mind – this was too bizarre, way too bizarre!

"I can't discuss this by phone."

Frustrated, Juice clenched his hand into a fist. What the hell was this? His little sister had disappeared, how the hell could he be so calm?!

"And now?! What the hell should I do now!" he yelled. 

"You gotta wait. I think it's more likely that she really had a date and stayed with the guy."

"You really think she would do that?" he snorted. "She's not that type of girl."

"Who knows, if he's a charmer. It's not that hard to wrap her around your finger, Juice."

Juice gritted his teeth. There was a painful truth in those words. 

"And what if you're wrong and those tattoo hunters are behind it?"

The tone of Roman's voice changed, convincing Juice that he had completely misjudged the guy. "Then one of them isn't as dead as was meant to."


	11. Other Sides

Jamie wasn't a difficult sleeper. Once she was tired, she could sleep literally everywhere. In the grass – no problem. Especially not when she could use the muscled but soft chest of handsome man as a pillow. He had wrapped an arm around her shoulder, his other hand rested on her hip. It was a sweet embrace, one she didn't want to move away from. However, her bladder was so full it hurt. She couldn't even remember the last time she'd gone to the toilet; probably in the game hall. She wasn't able to hold it any longer, so carefully she freed herself from his arms. Putting on her shoes, she looked around. They were on the other side of the railroad. Jamie didn't know if there were toilets in the building, but they wouldn't be connected to the water and who knows how many people had been on them the past years. Instead, she walked away from Esai until trees took her from sight. 

Although Jamie hadn't been gone for five minutes, Esai stood on his feet and stared into the distance when she returned. Right before she reached him, he turned around quickly, his hand on his gun. The moment he saw her, his shoulders relaxed. 

"You scared me, _chiqui_." He wrapped his arms around her and gave her an intimate kiss before his blue eyes stared into hers again. 

"I was gone for only a few minutes, I really needed to pee and I didn't want to wake you."

He nodded. "Must have missed your warmth. I woke up and you were gone, had no idea for how long. Thought maybe you'd gone home."

She laughed quietly. "How? I don't even know where we are."

"I'm sure Juice knows how to track you down."

They sat down in the grass. Esai wrapped his arms around her and laid down, pulling her on top of him. A new kind of tension crept through her body once she was lying on top of him. 

"How late is it?" she asked, her face right above his.

"Half past four. How late does your internship start?"

"At nine. But if you can drop me at Shanty's, I'm sure she can give me a ride."

"Just tell me where you need to go and I'll take you there." 

The smile that followed his words, warmed her heart. Moving her lips to his, she started to kiss him. His hand glided through her hair as their tongues found each other. She closed her eyes, very aware of his body underneath her. As the kiss became more intense, his hands moved to her back and further down. As they glided around her bum and pulled her a little higher, the heat down there flared up. Her cheeks turned red, her breathing speeding up. For a moment the kiss stopped as he looked at her. The tension between them was almost touchable, it made her breathless and dizzy. 

"You gotta tell me when to stop," he said. "Okay?"

Jamie nodded, her eyes wide with expectation. His hands glided down further, until his fingertips touched the skin right above her knee pits. Slowly they moved up again, along the back of her thighs. Her dress rolled up, the fresh air tickling her skin and contrasting with his warm caresses. 

His glance held hers while his hands returned to her bum, but this time underneath her dress. His fingers burnt on the fabric of her panties and when he squeezed his hands, her mouth opened a bit. As if he had seen the tiny movement, he tilted his head a little before his tongue slipped between her lips again. Her hand glided up to his neck and she kissed him back passionately. His grasp around her buttocks strengthened, he pulled her a little higher, tilting his hips a bit. Thousands of tickles spread through her body when she felt his erection right through his jeans. 

As he moved her waist against his hard length again, all her organs seemed to dance, making her moan softly. His teeth sank into her lower lip, before he dotted kissed from the corner of his mouth to her neck. 

"You're so amazing," he whispered, his tone darker than before. Her heart was slamming in her chest as he softly sucked her neck. She was afraid she was asking too much of her vital organ when his hands slipped inside her panties. His rings felt cold against her skin. His massaging movements had an amazing effect on her whole body; heat spread underneath her skin and hungrily she searched for his lips again. As they build up their kiss, his fingers were kneading her flesh, the tips slowly traveling down and to the front. Every millimeter that he moved set off thousand explosions, especially when he neared her purest heat. A part of her wanted to feel his fingers there too, another part of her was afraid of what would be the next step. 

In the end, it was Esai himself who pulled back his hand and pulled down her dress so her tights were covered again. 

"You're too hot," he whispered. "I don't know how much longer I control myself when I'm there." A grin spread across his face as he looked at her. "And once I'm on a roll, you don't want me to stop anymore." His lips wandered to her ear. "For I know very well how to drive a girl like you crazy." Again he sucked the spot right beneath her ear, making her moan softly. She believed him instantly. "But I'm sure you imagined your first time somewhere else than in the grass close to an abandoned railway station," he chuckled. "And not during your first date."

She blushed. Did he really want to have sex with her? She'd never done it, how would she know what to do? 

Esai shoved his hand underneath the back of his head and studied her face, his smirk telling her he liked her flushing cheeks. "Once you're ready, we could book a hotel. You'd like that? Gotta admit there ain't much privacy in my clubroom."

"And at your home?"

Sure – spending the night in a hotel sounded super romantic, but that would cost a lot of money too. 

To her surprise, he was the one blushing now. "I'm still living at my parent's house. I can take you there too, but I dunno... I'd rather be alone with you than risking the chance to be interrupted by my parents." His lips floated above hers. "That is, if you still want to see me after today."

"This date was perfect, Esai. Of course I would like to see you after today. I would like that very much, actually," she blushed. 

"Good." In the last moonlight, a grin was shining on his face. "Although I've set a very high bar for the next date, huh?"

Instead of giving her room to answer, he rolled her over and let his lips crash down on hers.

* * *

It was 7 AM when they got up and stretched their backs. According to her stiff muscles it was better not to turn this into a habit. Her dress was a bit wet because of the dew and while she tried to clean it up, she realized she couldn't wear this at the excavation. She however assumed her friend would have some clothes she could use; they were around the same seize. It was too late to go back to Charming first; this city was closer to her internship. Furthermore her uncle condoned a lot of things, so she couldn't see him becoming very mad. 

She took her phone from her purse to sent Shanty a text and widened her eyes at the sight of more than twenty missed calls from Juice. 

"Dang..." she said, completely bewildered. Although he had left lots of voicemail messages too, she decided to call him. Maybe something had happened to her brother, or to her mothers... She couldn't imagine why else he would have called her so many times. 

"What's up?" Esai stood behind her and wrapped his arms around her. 

"Juice called me like a hundred times." She bit her lip. "What if something happened to my family? My phone was on silent..." 

She pressed Juice's name. Despite the early hour, he took the call immediately. 

"Jamie?!" he called out. "Are you okay?? Where are you?!"

"I uh... I'm still in Oakland. Esai's going to take me to Shanty, then she's gonna give me a ride to the excavation. What's wrong? Why did you call me so many times?"

"I..." He was silent for a while. "You didn't come home, James. I've been worried sick."

"But why?" she asked confused. "You knew that I had a date..."

"I didn't know it would last until the next morning! I didn't take you for a girl like that, I thought something had happened to you!" His voice still sounded hysterical. Somehow it was kinda cute, although she felt particularly guilty now. 

"You're almost never home," she said quietly. "I assume you were at Daphne's. I didn't – I didn't think you would be waiting for me."

She heard him heave a deep sigh. "Sorry, I..." Another sigh. "Are you really okay? They – they don't force you to say that, right?"

"They?" she repeated, confused. "What are you talking about, Juice? I'm alone with Esai. We ate some pancakes at a place he used to hang out when he was younger and when we weren't in the mood to leave we fell asleep in the grass."

"Okay," he muttered. "Sorry. I was afraid that – you know, never mind. I'm relieved that you're okay. You come home tonight?"

"Yeah, I will. I think I'll be there at 6.30."

"You use to eat at home? I can cook?"

Surprised, she raised her eyebrows. He had never been home around dinner time. The prospect however caused a wide smile; she hated eating alone. "Yeah, that would be awesome!"

"Okay, see you tonight."

"Bye!"

She ended the call and put her phone away. Esai's arms glided a little tighter around her. "Well well... He's going to cook for you? Am I gettin' some competition?" Teasingly, his teeth sank into the flesh of her shoulder. 

She giggled. "No silly. Besides, he already has a girlfriend."

"But I'm sure she isn't as amazing as you." His lips wandered across her shoulder, up to her neck. 

Enjoying his touch, Jamie closed her eyes. "Mmm... And he's neither as amazing as you." She leaned against him, her fingers slipping across his hands that were laced on her stomach. 

"Good." He turned her around and pulled her close; the next kiss was a bit rougher, more compelling, calling up such an intense heat that she shoved her hands underneath his shirt and caressed his abs. His breathing sped up, just like hers when his hand moved from her hip upwards until he cupped her breast. Softly, he squeezed. 

"I want you to be mine," he said in a dark tone as she looked up to him. 

Her cheeks flushed and she bit her lip. For a few seconds they stared into each other's eyes; then his hand glided back to her hip and he even looked a bit confused. 

"Sorry." He laid a small kiss on her lips. "That's way too soon. It might feel like we know each other much longer, but you actually didn't even know me three days ago." He raked a hand through her hair. "I can't even remember the last time I fell so hard and quick for a girl. What about a second date next weekend?"

She gave him a wide smile. "Yes, I would love that!" 

He caressed her cheek and and smiled. "Me too."

* * *

Jamie couldn't get enough of his lips when they were saying goodbye in front of Shanty's house. Waiting another week sounded so long! The moment she stepped away from his bike, she already missed him. After a last wink he took off, and Jamie watched him until he disappeared from sight. Smiling from ear to ear, she turned around and walked up to the front door. 

The moment Shanty opened the door, she greeted her friend with a hug. 

"Wow, someone here had a great night," her friend smirked. "So you had a date? Tell me!"

"You first!" Jamie answered, although she could barely wait to tell about her date. 

"Well mine wasn't much; he took me to the movies and fell asleep." She laughed quietly. "So no, there won't be a second date."

They walked to the living room; they had fifteen minutes before they had to leave. 

"Oh no! Damn, that sucks!"

"Yeah, well..." She shrugged. "But tell me about yours!"

Jamie nodded. "Well.... Last Friday when I left, I dropped my phone and it was broken... so I couldn't find the right bus. So I went looking for someone who could help me and when I passed a motorclub, I thought they might know the Sons and would be willing to help me. And one of them dropped me off home, and yesterday we had a date and..."

The enthusiasm had disappeared from Shanty's face and she sighed softly. Grabbing Jamie's hand, she gave her a compassionate look. "Please, don't tell me you're dating Esai Alvarez."

Jamie's eyes widened. "What – how did you know?"

"Because I know Esai and he's like the biggest player in town. He's very charming – but with a sweetheart in every street."

The corners of Jamie's mouth dropped, her smile gone. "But he told me he really liked me," she muttered, her eyes aimed at the ground. 

"And he's probably saying that to all those girls, sweetheart." Shanty sighed. "We went to the same high school. I think at some point, he hooked up with all my friends, leaving them all with a broken heart. Not only because their feelings weren't mutual, also because he destroyed friendships. For him and his friends, all girls were victories."

Jamie stared at her fingers. "But what we had felt so special..."

Shanty wrapped an arm around her and rested her head against Jamie's. "Yeah, he's very good in giving someone that feeling. It's like a game for him, trying to wrap every type of girl around his finger."

"But he left high school a long time ago. Don't you think he might have... grown up a bit?"

"I'm afraid guys like him will never truly grow up. I think that when you would surprise him at the clubhouse Wednesday night, that you will find him with his tongue in another's girl's throat."

Jamie bit her lip and squeezed her eyes to stop the sudden tears. Was that really true? She thought back to how amazing the past hours had been, and a tear dripped down her cheek. "I think I'm already in love with him," she whispered. 

"Oh sweetheart..." With a sigh, Shanty pulled her closer. "Maybe I'm wrong. But if I'm completely honest, I've said that to a lot of girls and I was never wrong." She squeezed her hand. "Maybe you should indeed walk into that clubhouse in the middle of the week, I think it won't take a lot of time to see if I'm right." She took a deep breath. "I'm actually a little scared of them, but if it would help you I could come with you? You can just tell him that you were with me and that you wanted to surprise him."

Jamie stared at her knees. "I dunno," she muttered. It felt wrong to have those negative thoughts about him; he had been super sweet and he had monitored her feelings the whole time. "Don't you think he would have pushed for more than kissing alone?" she wondered. "If he only wanted sex?"

"He really didn't try anything else?" This time, there was surprise in Shanty's voice. 

Jamie thought about his hands inside her panties, his hand on her breast. "A little more," she admitted. "But he told me he didn't want me to have my first time at our first date and outside."

"Exactly what we would want to hear," Shanty muttered. "Always such a smooth talker."

Jamie wiped her eyes. She should have seen it coming. Why would a man like Esai have a genuine interest in her? She was weird – she knew how people thought about her. Exactly her weirdness must have made her an interesting challenge. 

"I feel so stupid," she sighed. Her stomach hurt and she felt that she was very close to crying. "I'm going to call in sick, I wanna go home."

Shanty hesitated. "You sure you don't want some distraction?"

She shook her head. "No, I feel sick. And I don't – I don't want to cry around everyone."

"Okay," Shanty said softly, squeezing her knee. "I'll take you home."

Jamie stared forward. As sweet as the gesture had been, right now nothing could take away her disappointment. 


	12. Pep Talk

Juice was plagued by a strange nervous feeling when he put the shopping bag on the table and started to clear it out. He thought back to the enthusiasm in Jamie's voice when he told her that he would make dinner for her and his lips curled up. He wasn't used to people who liked to have him around. It wasn't like people were annoyed by him, but he always had the feeling they liked someone else's company just as much. And even though he knew Jamie was happy with whoever visited her, he also knew she was genuinely happy with his company. After last night, there was nothing he wanted more than making sure that she was okay, and it felt like he couldn't be convinced of that until he could hold her in his arms. 

He frowned as he saw her backpack next to the table. Was she already home? 

"James?" he called. 

No answer came. She wasn't someone who often distanced herself. Was she feeling sick? He went to her bedroom and knocked on the door. "James?" he repeated. 

Silence. 

Or wait... He thought to hear a quiet sobbing and opened the door a bit. She was lying on her bed, her back towards him. The fact that she refused to turn around, worried him. Sitting down on the bed, he hesitated and laid a hand on her hip. 

"James? What's wrong?"

She sniffled as she wiped her eyes, leaving behind streaks of mascara on her hand. "Nothing. I've just been stupid." She had wrapped her arms around a large Pikachu, pressing the stuffed animal to her stomach. Her glance was aimed at the wall, as if she didn't want to show him that she was crying.

"Did something happen at the excavation? Or... is it because of Esai?"

The way her shoulders tensed when he mentioned the man's name, gave away the answer. Something dark arose in his stomach. "Look at me, Jamie," he said, his tone compelling. 

With a deep sigh the girl turned around. Her eyes were puffy, her face exhausted. He suspected her to lie her for a long time, being plagued by various crying jags. The sight of her tear-stained face made an icy fury flare up inside him; it took a lot to make a cheerful girl like Jamie sad. 

"Did he do something you didn't want? For I swear to you – if he touched you in a way you didn't like I'm going after him and I'm going to break all his bones."

She barely responded; she had rolled on her other side now and stared past him. Assuming she needed some time before she could tell him what had happened, he laid down on his side too, his head on the same pillow. Their faces were very close, but he didn't have the feeling he was invading her personal space; she was always cuddly and something told him she would have done the same if he had been the one that was bothered by something. Her eyes focused on his. Because of her tears they were a perfect mix of green and blue, and he had a feeling he could stare into them for hours. 

"You can tell me anything, you know that right?"

She cast her glance at the floor. "I feel ashamed."

Her words seemed to cut into his stomach like thorns. He felt the urge to wipe the tears from her face, but as long as he didn't know what had happened to her, he didn't dare to touch her. 

"Whatever it is, I'm sure you're not the one who should feel ashamed."

Skittishly she looked up. Something had damaged her self-image and he hated Esai for it.

"Why don't you start at the beginning?" he tried to push her. "Okay?"

When she didn't respond, he rolled a tuft of her blue hair between his fingers, pulling her out of her thoughts again. 

"You think you can do that?"

She nodded hesitantly. "Actually it was perfect," she said softly. "We went to a game hall and played all kinds of old games... and right before we left he won this Pikachu for me." Her grasp around the stuffed animal tightened. 

Her answer surprised Juice; it didn't sound like a standard date and it was certainly something Jamie liked; Esai must have known her better than expected. 

"There after we got ourselves some pancakes and syrup in the grocery shop, then he took me to an abandoned railway station."

Juice felt the blood freeze in his veins. He could think of only one reason why someone would take her to a remote place like that. Precisely because of the reason which had kept him from sleeping all night. "And then?" he asked quietly. 

"He showed me the graffiti he had made years ago. It was so cool, so beautiful, it really felt like we were walking through a museum. Then we ate our pancakes and – and then he kissed me. It was so romantic!" Her cheeks flushed. "We slept in the grass and it all felt so good, he said so many sweet things..." Tears filled her eyes again. "But after he had taken me to Shanty, she told me they had gone to the same school and that he was the biggest player in town who had messed around with all her friends. And now – now I'm so in love with him while he considers me as some funny weird girl who was a nice victory." Suddenly she snuggled up to him, burying her face against his chest. "And now I feel so stupid. He is so handsome and I'm... I should have known he would never be truly interested in a girl like me."

"Hey... don't say things like that... Saturday I already told you that you are beautiful, James. Everyone who fails to see that, is definitely blind."

"But I'm weird," she muttered against his chest. 

Raising a hand, he raked his fingers through her soft hair. For a moment he heard Daphne's voice in his head that he was enjoying her being so close to him a little too much, but he ignored the guilt; he just sensed she needed a hug. "You're a little different than most girls I know," he admitted. "But that's what I like about you! You're always great company."

She looked up to him again. A tear rolled down her cheek. Now he knew she wasn't assaulted, he wiped the drop away with his thumb. The moment he felt the heat of her skin, something stirred inside him. His eyes wandered to her lips; suddenly he wanted to taste them, he wanted to know how soft they were, how her tongue would feel against his. The heat crept to his cheeks and it took all his effort not to turn his face away; he was afraid that it would look like he didn't believe his own words if he no longer looked her in the eye. His thoughts shot back to Daphne and he knew his thoughts were wrong and that he really needed to get rid of them, but somewhere during the past days his roommate had conquered a part of his heart. 

"If I'm great company, then why are you never home?" she asked softly. 

"Because my girlfriend has a hard time dealing with the fact that I have an awesome roommate," he answered honestly. "She doesn't trust me around other pretty girls, and she isn't exactly the cheeriest when she's moody." Hesitating, he looked at her. Her warm breathing brushed his lips and right at that moment he understood what Daphne feared so much. He did want to kiss her. To distract himself, he continued: "I just can't stand her whining, so just doing whatever the hell she wants is often easier... and I didn't really consider how you would feel about that. I'm sorry."

Jamie heaved a sigh. "It's stupid that she's not trusting you. I mean – you're like a brother to me, right? Because of you I don't miss Roman so much."

Juice didn't know why these words slapped him in the face. He had already told other people that she felt like his little sister, but he didn't like to hear it from her at all. It felt like he was just friendzoned. Which shouldn't bother him, since she was madly in love with Esai and even though Daphne and he were in a fight right now, he thought he didn't want to lose her.

"Yeah," he answered softly, although his voice was slightly shaking, giving away that he didn't completely agree with her words. 

For a moment a small smile crossed her lips, then the look in her eyes became sad again, the corners of her mouth curling down. "You know... it felt like he really knew me. It felt like... we enjoyed the same things and it made it feel so real..." Her eyes were glazing over again, her bottom lip started to tremble. "I really thought that – that maybe I was finally going to have a boyfriend. It felt like we were both in love and I – I feel just so stupid now."

A tear left her eyelashes, rolling down her cheek. Juice hated to see her so sad. He might not have had a good feeling about Esai, and the idea that Jamie had just been a toy in his eyes did meet his expectations, but still something convinced him that things weren't that black and white. Jamie had fallen so hard for that guy that he doubted it would have been very hard to go further than kissing – wouldn't a first class player without decency have misused that vulnerability? Plus – the date sounded really cool, would someone really make such an effort for just a fuck? 

"I'm gonna tell you something your friends probably disagree with, but it's true. I'm a player too, James. Like all of my friends. Before I got together with Daphne, I've been with different women every night – and sometimes more than one at the same time." He chuckled when her cheeks turned pink. "But that doesn't mean that people like us can't fall in love. I fell for Daphne too and the past four months she's been the only one I slept with. I can't tell you if Esai feels the same about you – but that someone leads a dissolute life and has a lot of flings, doesn't mean he can't have genuine feelings for someone. And I gotta admit that I found Esai an arrogant prick when I met him who I wanted to punch in the face right away, but if things really felt that good... then you shouldn't give him up just because he was a player at high school." Taking a deep breath, he looked into her eyes. There was a sudden glow of hope in them, messing up his brain so he had a hard time remembering what he'd wanted to say to her. Without realizing, he laced their fingers without taking his glance away from her beautiful eyes. "You're a very special girl, Jamie. You're sweet and funny, and somehow much softer than every other girl I know. You got beautiful eyes and an even more beautiful smile and I think it's so cool that you do your own thing without caring what everyone else thinks of it. Your enthusiasm is infectious and..." his lips curled up as she started to blush, looking shyly at him, "you're fucking cute when your cheeks flush." He gave her a wink. "But my point is... I'm sure Esai picked up on these things too. And if you really like him that much... you shouldn't let him go, based on some gossip; you should just show him that you're the most amazing girlfriend he can wish for."

At every word leaving his lips, a little of her confidence returned. He brushed his thumb across hers, realizing how much he enjoyed holding her like this. He must be crazy for trying to convince her so hard to go for Esai while he himself –

Juice shook off the thought, annoyed. That he was in a fight with Daphne now, didn't mean he should throw himself on someone else. As amazing as Jamie was – she wasn't his type, she wasn't made for the club life and apart from that, she'd told him very clearly that she considered him like a big brother. 

"Thank you for this pep talk," she said softly, hugging him. Her breasts pressed against his chest and he breathed in sharply, very aware of the fact that there had never been a girl doing that without allowing his hand to slide underneath her shirt to catch the weight of her breast with the palm of his hand. It took him a hell of an effort not to turn her face aside so he could explore her neck with his lips. The sudden longing made his breathing shaky and he knew he should get rid of these stupid thoughts quickly, before he really gave in to it and destroyed their friendship. 

After the embrace Jamie sat up straight, wiping the smudged make-up away. The smile she showed him was still a bit sad, but she looked more energetic than before. 

"Shanty said I should go to the cl– um, to his favorite bar to surprise him... just to see how he's around other girls." She looked him in the eye. "You think I should do that?"

Juice thought about it. If someone wanted to check on him, it might have worked; he just had a hard time keeping his hands off hot chicks if there was no reason to. "There's no harm in that, right? Just to see if he treats other girls like he treats you? I can come with you if you like?"

He didn't like the idea of her going alone to a bar, seeing that prick with his tongue in the throat of some bitch because of which she would break down.

His question seemed to startle her. "Umm Shanty already suggested to come with me."

"But I can hit harder," he answered with a smirk. "In the rare case that he's a real asshole."

She chuckled softly, and he noticed the dimples in her cheeks as her lips curled up again. She got off the bed. "Then I'll give you a call. I don't want to assume the worst."

Her positivity gave him a warm feeling; he liked the easiness with which she could switch moods. He stood up as well, swinging an arm around her shoulders. "And if he really trades you for the first chick he sees, he really is a dumb cow. Then you deserve so much better James."

On a whim he kissed her temple. Her skin was warm and soft, making his lips tingle; he felt his cheeks glow and quickly he looked the other way. Jamie didn't notice, she leaned with her head against his shoulder and brushed his arm. 

"You really are the best roomie, Juice. When Shanty told me about Esai I didn't think I would be able to eat a thing today, but now I'm looking forward to whatever you're going to cook."

He smirked. "Fish taco's. Found it on the internet so I hope it's edible. It sounded delicious, tho."

"I love fish! I'm sure I'll love it!" Her voice sounded full of life again, and when she turned her face to him and smiled, he could no longer see that she'd cried for hours. "And after dinner, we can play a game? We could play Carcassone, I always did that with my brother. Maybe I'll finally win!" With beaming eyes she looked at him, and Juice knew he would never be able to deny her anything if she looked at him like that.

"Then it's about time you explain the game to me," he answered, his arm still around her. 

"We can invite Daphne too?" Jamie suggested. "Maybe she'll like me a bit more?"

Juice stared at her in disbelief. Yesterday his girlfriend had dressed her up like a whore, had she already forgotten about that? Or was it so important for her to be liked by everyone? Quickly he shook his head. "Nah, Daphne doesn't like games." Which wasn't a lie, and it sounded less dramatic than admitting that he wasn't in the mood to be around his girlfriend. "And I'm still mad at her for making you wear that dress. That was wrong, James, all she wanted to do was make fun of you. I have no interest in seeing her before she has learned how to behave normal and stop being such a bitch to you, only because she'd wished she'd lived here herself."

"Why exactly didn't you want her to live here?" Jamie asked. They'd reached the kitchen and Jamie hoisted herself on the countertop. 

Juice shrugged his shoulders. It was a question he'd thought about a hundred times, but he still didn't know the answer. "I dunno. It makes our relationship so... serious and I'm not sure I'm ready for that." He opened the fridge to take out the ingredients while he continued: "Before I met Daphne I've been single for seven years and I still have to get used to the feeling of sharing my life with someone. I just don't wanna rush it. I like the way things are right now, so why risking to ruin it? And deep down I just knew I would get an amazing roomie." He gave her a wink, then he took the cutting board from the drawer. 

Jamie grinned back. "Well secretly I'm also happy you don't want her to move in with you yet. I don't think my brother could have found a nicer roommate for me!" She jumped off the countertop. "Do I have time to shower?"

"Yeah, think it will take at least half an hour before dinner is ready."

"Kay!" 

A few minutes later he heard the shower water rain down, supplemented by her unique singing voice. Now and then it sounded a bit off-key, but he smiled nevertheless and caught himself preferring listening to her voice instead of starting Spotify.


	13. Disappointments

Absently, Juice's fingers raked through her pink and blue strands. They felt softer than Daphne's hair, who always sprayed it with a lot of stuff. They were watching a movie, although Jamie's eyes had dropped a while ago. The short night and the emotions as a result of it, had exhausted her. She had placed a cushion on his lap, resting her head on it while looking at the tv, but it hadn't helped her to stay awake. He neither paid attention to the movie. She'd wanted to watch Ice Age and he'd seen that movie more than enough. He rather watched her peaceful face. Her bottom lip was a little fuller than the upper one, she had an upturned nose and a birthmark above her left eyebrow. She was pretty – like really pretty. Her beauty was more subtle than Daphne's; she always drew all attention to herself. Jamie's beauty seemed more hidden, but now he'd seen it, it gave him a dry mouth and it was really hard not to caress her face. He imagined how the pressure of her lips would feel against his, how he would softly suck her bottom lip, how her breathing would falter. The thoughts made him hard, and the fact that her face was so close to his dick wasn't helpful either. 

To distract his thoughts from the things he wanted to do with her, he thought back to the conversation he'd had with Roman last night. He had sent him a text that she'd come home, but if it was up to him, their conversation wasn't over. He needed to know more about that mysterious tattoo and the people who had an interest in it. His glance glided across the dress she was wearing. Somewhere underneath the fabric the ink was hidden, for he hadn't seen the tattoo yet. Soon he caught himself not imagining the ink on her skin, but her curves and her gleaming skin. His thoughts started to drive him crazy and he decided it was time to create a little more distance between them. Apparently, no sex in 24 hours brought him in a weird mood. 

"Hey James... Why don't you go to bed?" Softly, he shook her shoulder. 

Slowly she opened her eyes; she muttered something inaudible and fell asleep again. Carefully he lifted her head and moved from underneath her, then he lifted her up. Between her eyelashes she looked up to him, she wrapped her arms around his neck and nestled her head against his chest.

On a whim he pressed a kiss in her hair, smelling her shampoo, before he laid her down on the bed and loosened her arms from around his neck. 

"Stay with me," she muttered. 

Juice had just wanted to stand up, but her words made him freeze. Did she really want him to stay? That wasn't very brotherlike, right? He didn't think it was wise, so he pulled the blanket over her. When he wanted to leave, her fingers laced with his.

"I'm so tired... But stay with me... Stay with me again Esai..."

Juice tensed at the mentioning of what felt like his rival by now. She had really been pulled into her dream world. He didn't answer, and when she seemed asleep he stepped away from her, feeling a nasty sting in his stomach. He just hoped Esai wasn't as much of an asshole as he feared, but he was really afraid he would cause the girl a lot of heartache. If it had been a simple college boy he would've had some words with him, but the arrogance that had radiated from the man's face was still etched in his mind. A talk with him wouldn't make a difference.

Back in the living room he glanced at the clock. It was 11:15 PM, he believed that was still a reasonable time to call. At least it was better than 3 AM. 

"Hey, you're not going to tell me you lost sight of my little sister _again,_ right?" Roman started after taking the call. 

"No, she's home. She's sleeping. But you gotta tell me about the ink, about that organisation that's after her."

It was silent for a while. "It's safer for her if you don't know anything about it, Juice. Forget I ever mentioned it. The people who knew about it are dead."

He bit his knuckle. He couldn't just shove away his curiosity – but what if he would put Jamie in danger? He obviously didn't want to. "Can't you just... say _something_ about it?"

"You think this is some kind of game, Juice?"

"No... But what if you're wrong? I don't believe that you're hundred percent sure that she's safe."

Roman sighed. "The longer this conversation takes, the more danger you put her in. Let it go Juice."

This time, the man sounded stern. Before Juice could say something, Roman ended the call. With a deep sigh Juice tossed the phone on the couch. What an asshole. He couldn't just drop a bomb like that and not explaining himself!

. . . A day later . . . 

Daphne watched herself in the mirror. She had used a curling iron to make her hair wave down her bare shoulders. The dress she was wearing was hot and a bit slutty, but not too tacky. Juice would like it. She knew exactly what she should show and hide to make him wild. It was crazy that they hadn't seen each other in two days, only because of that attention whore. Juice's stubbornness lasted longer than expected, he probably yanked himself a few times a day while thinking about her. His ego was too big to admit that he was being ridiculous; she couldn't see why they couldn't shake off their disagreements by some hot shower sex, like they usually did.

Now she had to be the one giving in, for she didn't want to lose him, especially not because of some weird bitch. She parked her Corvette close to his apartment, her heels clicking as she went up the stairs. Ringing the bell, she pulled down her dress a bit to show more of her cleavage. 

The door was opened. Juice answered her visit with a cold glance. The look in his eyes shocked her a bit, but she recomposed herself quickly. "I want to apologize to Jamie," she said, trying to ward off the reluctance from her voice. 

Juice's glance rested upon her dress. She pushed back her shoulders, making her breasts come more to the front and gave him a seductive smile. 

"Okay," was all he said. "James!" he called over his shoulder. He stepped aside to make room for the freak, but he kept waiting a few steps behind her, leaning against the wall like he was her fucking guard dog. It annoyed her to no end. Since when were they so close? She hated it; Jamie would have been naive enough to accept her apologies, but Juice? He would see right through her. He was the one she needed to convince that she was sorry, not Jamie. 

"I want to apologize," she started. "For encouraging you to wear that dress."

Jamie had wrapped her arms around her upper body, as if she wanted to hug herself. She looked vulnerable; there were no traces of her usual hyperactivity. Was it only because of that stupid dress? No – she couldn't be _that_ pathetic, right? Maybe she didn't sound convincing enough. Maybe she should have gotten her some cake, that girl was obsessed with food. She was probably the type of girl stuffing her mouth when she felt sad, only to throw it up later.

Her eyes shot to Juice, but his face was still grim. Okay, as it seemed saying sorry wasn't enough. She cleared her throat. "I have some trouble placing myself in someone else's shoes," she said. "I would have worn a dress like that to a first date." She pointed at her current dress. "I always look like this. You asked me what men liked..." She shifted her attention to Juice. "And you can impossibly state that you don't like short dresses like that, huh?"

Juice rolled his eyes. "You've never dated anyone; all you do is jump in bed with guys. And yeah, dresses like that are very suited when you just want to fuck."

She gritted her teeth, his cold tone hurt her more than his words. Was it really over between them? Only because of some slutty dress? 

"Sorry," she stressed, in a last attempt to get Jamie on her side. "I wanted to help you, I really did. I guess you better ask Juice next time, he knows all about dresses." she sighed, trying to relax. "Was it a nice date?"

The girl bent her head and nodded, although she didn't create the impression that it had been a very exciting night. Well, then she should have kept that dress...

"You're still mad at me?" she asked Jamie. 

Skittishly the girl looked up, shaking her head. Daphne frowned, her behavior was almost starting to worry her; she didn't seem like herself. 

"I'm happy to hear that." She feigned a smile, then she looked at Juice with hopeful eyes. Nope, he still couldn't smile. "Can we talk in private?"

Finally he pushed himself away from the wall. For a moment his hand rested upon Jamie's lower back as he whispered something to her. Her face lit up immediately, then she turned around and hopped out of the hallway. 

"Well, that was a quick mood change. You whispered in her ear you were going to lick her pussy in a minute?" She looked at him with raised eyebrows.

"She bought an ice maker, I told her we could try it out and that she could start settin' it up."

For a moment Daphne didn't know what to say. That wasn't the answer she'd expected. Sighing, she raked a hand through her hair. "Sorry, I'm just stressed out. I don't wanna lose you, Juice. I've apologized to her, what else do I need to do?"

He crossed his arms, his shoulder leaned against the doorway. "At least you could have meant what you said."

"I did mean it! I'm just not good with this shit okay? With relationships and friendship and shit like that. I'm trying but she's so different from me."

He heaved a sigh. "Whatever."

When he was about to close the door, she panicked and grabbed his arms. "C'mon Juice... I love you. I miss you. I know that I made a mistake, okay? I was jealous." She wasn't, but thought Juice wanted to hear that. "I didn't think about the consequences. Can I please stay, join your little ice cream party?"

He raised his eyebrows as he caught her unintended mocking. Jeez... jokes were a crime now? Damn, why was he so hot-headed? She leaned into him, pushing two fingers against his chest and stroked them down until she reached his crotch. "Lemme make things right. Please."

"Fine," he sighed. "But if you hurt her again you can get lost. She has enough trouble with her insecurities."

"She looked sad," she said, hoping she would score some points with her so-called sympathy. "Did something happen?"

"She's in love," he answered shortly. "With a guy who's Oakland's biggest player, accordin' to her friend. So please be nice to her, it took me hours to cheer her up."

"You're too sweet." She sighed softly, she couldn't keep herself from quickly pecking his lips. "I'll be sweet too, I promise."

Daphne was true to her word. She acted so nice she had the feeling she was kissing Jamie's ass the whole time, but the girl didn't notice and her former enthusiasm slowly returned. She had no illusions that Juice knew that she was trying a little too hard, but as long as Jamie was smiling, he seemed fine with it. Again jealousy started to gnaw at her heart. Not because of Jamie's looks, but because of how Juice looked at her. She knew her boyfriend, she saw how his lips constantly copied her smile. It hurt, but she didn't plan on giving him up. She would never give him up. A few more days and the novelty was worn thin; then all he wanted was a hot chick in his bed. And she was hot. 

Later that night she showed herself at her best when he had allowed her to stay. They had steaming, vigorous sex for almost an hour, both completely surrendering to their urges. Nevertheless she felt a change inside him. He was rougher, his grunts deeper. Unlike in the past, he mainly cared about his own pleasure and even though she had peace with it right now, she hoped it wouldn't turn into a habit...

. . . A day later . . .

After what felt like a thousand hours, Wednesday arrived. Her stomach hurt the whole day. Since Monday morning she hadn't heard a word from Esai, increasing the fear that Shanty was right about him. Her work today hadn't given her much of a distraction; it had been her turn to number the pieces of pottery and document them. It required a lot of thinking, while there was actually one thing on her mind and that was Esai. She had told her uncle she didn't feel well, where after he had told her to take it easy. 

After a day of work, she had eaten at Shanty's place – or well, she had tried to eat, in fact she couldn't eat a thing. Close to nine she was afraid that she would faint if she would wait any longer; it was better to bite the bullet. 

Shanty went with her to the clubhouse. It was pouring, which she tried not to consider as a bad omen. Luckily her friend had brought an umbrella with her, so she wasn't soaked when she entered the building. She held Shanty's hand tightly when she walked through the door. Her heart was pounding so painfully and quick in her chest that it almost made her cry. 

They were barely inside when people whistled at them. Two guys looked at them with wide grins; one of them was Kev, the other didn't wear a kutte. 

"Well well Shanty... that's a long time ago!" Kev wrapped an arm around her shoulder and gave Jamie a wink. "Esai's a little busy right now, he'll come back soon." He focused his attention to Shanty. "But girl... never expected to see you here."

"I neither expected you to wear a kutte," the girl muttered. She gave Jamie an apologizing look. Jamie remembered how overwhelming Kev's presence had been, the first time she walked into the clubhouse, so she let go of her friend's hand. Apparently the two knew each other and Shanty didn't give her the feeling that she really regretted walking into him. 

A little lost she looked around. However, it didn't take long before the man who'd been with Kev showed up next to her and laid an arm around her waist. "C'mon, let's have a drink until Esai's done. I'm Danny."

The sides of his head were shaved, the rest looked messy. Just like his friends he had a charming smile, but Jamie had the feeling it wasn't a genuine one. After telling him her name, she let him led her to the bar where he got her a drink immediately. 

"So... you're here for Esai?" Danny asked. 

"Yeah..."

His glance wandered across her body. Jamie cast her glance at the ground, she felt really uncomfortable and wanted to leave. 

"He just went to his room with a cute blonde."

His hand moved from her hip downward and kneaded her cheek. Jamie froze. She wanted to tell him to stop, but her brain was still processing his words. Shanty had been right. She didn't mean anything to him. 

He pulled her close, his hot breathing fuming against her neck. "But I can heat you up a bit until he's done with her?" He pulled back his head, giving her a wink. 

Jamie could only stare forward. Tears crept into her eyes and her bottom lip started to quiver.

"Oh, you're not here to get laid? I'm sorry..." He pulled his hand away from her buttocks. 

A tear glided down her cheek. When he wiped it away, she still wasn't able to move. It felt like her body had simply stopped working. 

"You thought you were his girl? I'm sorry baby, but you're not blind right? Haven't you seen all those hot chicks around? We don't do girlfriends." His fingers curled around her hip. "But I can cheer you up? The bright side of this is that you can do it with whoever you want to... and you can't convince me you don't want me to fuck you. I know how to make a girl like you scream in pleasure. Maybe we'll even make Esai a bit jealous... How does that sound, huh?"

She wanted to leave, she wanted to leave so badly, but it still felt like her feet were stuck in concrete. His arms glided around her and he pulled her against his chest. Something hard pressed against her waist. 

"Stop," she whispered. "I don't want this. I – I don't want this."

"Oh I'm sure you _do_ want this, sweetie. And why wouldn't you? Esai's balls deep in that blonde right now, why won't you allow yourself to have some fun?"

His lips touched her neck and Jamie gagged. Suddenly she couldn't stop the wave of indignation that came over her and she pushed the guy away. Tears blinded her sight, but she stormed past him, ignoring the people she ran into. Once outside, the water splashed in the puddles as she ran through them. She kept running and running while the sobs rolled over her lips. When she sprained her ankle, she dropped down on the ground in an alley and started to cry with sobs that were so heavy it felt like her whole body was tearing open. 

She never wanted to fall in love again. Never.


	14. Trust

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: At the end of the previous chapter I forgot to mention that Jamie sprained her ankle when she was running, so I added it haha. (:

"That fucking rain," Esai grumbled as he got off his bike, taking the helmet off his head. Despite the helmet, his hair was soaked. The water burnt in his eyes and he was convinced that even his boxers were soaking wet.

Water splashed when Hector stepped in a mud puddle. He shivered. It was fucking cold and he wasn't dressed for this weather at all. Now he understood why some bikers wore protective clothing, although they always looked sissy.

He tried to shake off the grimness, but the fact that it had taken three fucking hours to get that prick to talk had made him fucking annoyed. He couldn't stand the sight of blood as much as the others thought, and to hide his nauseousness he had ass whipped the asshole a little more than his intention had been. But well – the guy had talked. They now knew how the cops were able to confiscate a part of their drugs yesterday. They'd arrested Larry in the process, who was facing some serious charges now. It had been a fucking chaos the past days, he had the feeling he had barely slept.

Hector wrapped an arm around his shoulders as they walked to the clubhouse. "A _cerveza_ and a nice little _puta_ works miracles, _hermano._ "

A beer would do. He wasn't in the mood for some random chick, but he showed a wolfish grin nevertheless. Nobody needed to know that his feelings for Jamie were more serious than was required for the plan. He didn't feel like being teased by the others, nor was he looking forward to his father lecturing him that she wasn't made for this life. He already knew that. But he couldn't help it; she kept slipping into his thoughts, her smile was seared in his brain and he just loved being around her. Sure – since their first meeting he'd felt the chemistry between them, but he experienced that with a lot of girls. It was her connection to the Sons that had mattered, leading to his first date in years. Never had he expected to fall so hard for her; every time he thought about her, his heart was pounding like that of a teenager who was about to lose its virginity. The past days had been so chaotic that he hadn't even texted her, and the fact that she had neither texted him, bothered him a bit.

He entered the warmth of the clubhouse. Immediately it felt like his clothes were sticking even more to his skin. Before he got himself a beer, he wanted to head to his clubroom to take a shower and to get some dry clothes on. Before he could do so, someone grabbed his arm and he turned around. With raised eyebrows, he looked at Kevin's face. To his surprise, he was soaked as well.

"Jamie was here, with Shanty. Suddenly she was gone, we're looking for her for half an hour now. I heard the bikes and figured it would be you, so I ran all the way back.

"She's gone?" he repeated. "Why? What was she doin' here anyway?"

"Dunno, guess she wanted to surprise you. She was with a friend. She talked to that prick over there and later I heard she ran away in tears. Shanty went to the busstop immediately, but she wasn't there."

Esai gritted his teeth. "Who she been talkin' to?"

"Danny."

He knew enough. He walked over to the man, grabbed him by the collar and slammed him against the bar. Glass fell down tinkling. "What did you tell her."

"Told 'er nothing man."

Esai grabbed his shoulder and clenched his fist. "Don't lie to me or I'll make sure you're never gonna set a foot in Oakland again."

Danny looked at him with a sour face. Esai knew him for years. He was too stupid to become his friend, but most days they could get along. He however did suspect Danny to be jealous of him because of his kutte. The fact that he wasn't wearing one was his own fault; the guys believed he had potential, but since he blurted out whatever someone asked him when he was drunk, he was of no use to them.

"I told her you took a blonde to your room. Don't pretend you never do that." He rolled his eyes. "I just thought she was another _puta_."

"Bullshit," Esai grunted. At a single glance, everyone knew Jamie was different from all the other girls around here. "You saw how vulnerable she was and you thought you could talk her into bed by comforting her."

He showed an apologetic smirk, which was the last straw for Esai. He slammed his fist in Danny's eye, and there after his hand met the man's jaw. Danny stumbled backwards and fell on the ground. Esai was about to kick his head, but instead he decided to go looking for Jamie. This was a bad neighborhood to be alone in, especially for a beautiful but vulnerable girl like her.

After leaving a glob of spit on Danny's face, he turned around and grabbed his phone from his pocket to call her. He didn't think she would answer, but he had to try it. With a sigh he put away the device and headed outside.

"We already searched that part." Kevin had waited for him at the door and pointed to the left.

Esai nodded and started to walk in the opposite direction. For a moment he wondered whether he should ask more of his brothers to help searching, but at the same time he didn't want to waste more time. He started to run.

He had no idea how long he was walking in and out streets. There was no pattern to his movements; he just walked around and started to feel really worried. He even considered to call Juice. After the panic he had shown last Sunday, Esai wouldn't be surprised if he'd put a tracker on Jamie's phone. He however was afraid he would show his hand with that, and he didn't want to mess up his assignment – especially not because of his emotions.

His phone went off. Immediately he pressed the device against his ear.

"I found her," Kevin said. "But I'm not sure how she'll respond to me, I think it's better if you're the one going to her."

"Where are you?"

His friend mentioned the street. It wasn't that far away; within a few minutes he jogged into the alley. Kevin was waiting on a corner and slapped his shoulder as Esai passed him. Esai nodded shortly at him and moved on.

She was sitting on the ground, her back against the wall. She was staring at the ground, her arms wrapped around her knees. Her colored strands however told him it was her.

"Jamie?" He knelt in front of her, placing a hand on her knee. The moment she flinched, he pulled back his arm. "I know what Danny said to you, but it's not true. I wasn't even in the clubhouse; I just arrived. You can ask around, they'll agree with me. He – he's just an asshole trying to get you in his bed."

She raised her head. Her face was pale, her eyes full of tears. It broke his heart to see her like this. He had already suspected her to have fallen for him just as hard as he'd fallen for her, but he had a hard time believing that the thought that he slept with someone else completely devastated her. After all, they'd been on only one date. From the beginning he had known that he would hurt her one day, but he'd never expected it to happen so soon, and certainly not without the club benefiting from it.

He laid a hand against her cheek. Her jaw was shaking. "You're ice cold," he said softly. "Come, you can't stay here."

"Go away," she whispered. "Just go away."

"Not without you," he answered stubbornly. "I can take you home if you like, but I won't leave you here. This is a dangerous neighborhood, _chiqui._ " He lifted her face so she could look in his eyes and see the truth in his words. "I don't want you to get hurt even more. Get up, _cariño._ You'll get sick."

"So? I feel sick for days. Ever since Shanty told me you were the biggest player she knew. I came here tonight to see if you would be with another girl."

"But I wasn't," he stressed. "I was out doing club business. I can tell you exactly which guys were with me to prove that I'm speaking the truth."

She shrugged her shoulders and cast her glance at the ground again. Esai suppressed a sigh. He was no idiot, he knew about his reputation. He had just hoped it would take a little longer before she would find out, so that she wouldn't doubt herself.

"I had a tough day. A couple in a row, actually. You really think I would have looked for you in the pouring rain for over an hour if you didn't mean anything to me? I would have left you here to drown."

She looked up. He read the doubt in her eyes, the hope.

He laid his hand over hers. "Come with me. You can leave with your friend or you can stay with me, whatever you like. I can take you home. But you can't stay here, you're ice cold."

"Okay," she answered quietly. "But I – I strained my ankle. I don't think I can walk far."

"Lemme carry you." He cupped her cold cheek again. He didn't think his fingers were much warmer than her skin, but he desperately wanted to give her some warmth. "You okay with that?"

Her cheeks got a little more color when she started to blush, which he considered as a good sign.

"Wrap your arms around my neck."

She did as he told her and he shoved an arm underneath her knee pits, the other he clutched around her back. He felt her shiver in cold as he lifted her up and he briefly pressed his lips against her forehead. She looked up to him. Apparently she saw the concern in his eyes, for she seemed to relax a bit and leaned with her head against his chest.

He carried her back to the clubhouse. Next to Kevin he saw a girl he'd never seen before; he assumed that was Shanty.

"Get her some dry clothes," he told her.

She looked him briefly in the eye before she nodded silently. Esai stared down on her. That bitch didn't know him, why the hell did she tell all that shit to Jamie?

Jamie looked up now the warmth of the clubhouse was surrounding her. First her eyes wandered to him, then to Shanty.

"You gotta warm up, _chiqui,_ " he told her. "You can shower in my room, Shanty's gonna get you some dry stuff. Okay?"

Jamie nodded slowly.

He carried her through the crowded clubhouse. As they passed Danny, he stood still.

"Apologize."

His eye was closed because of the hit he'd taken. Sensing that the same would happen to his other eye if he didn't obey, he cleared his throat. "I'm sorry. I lied."

"But why?" she asked quietly, her lips barely moving.

Esai stared him in the eye. The last thing he should do now, was telling her in rude words how he'd wanted to fuck her himself; then she would never feel comfortable around here.

"Sometimes I'm just a dick," he shrugged. Then he lifted the corner of his mouth. "There's a reason why beautiful ladies like you are always falling for Esai instead of me."

Esai decided they'd wasted enough time on that fuckhead and went to his room. On the way he shot a prayer that there were no bra's lying around; he was quite a pack rat and he couldn't even remember the last time he'd cleaned out his room. The air had became stale, and even though he usually didn't care what his visitors thought of that, he felt his cheeks glow in embarrassment this time.

He put her down on the edge of his unmade bed and opened the window. At first sight, he discovered no bra's or thongs. His glance however did catch some socks and underwear of himself, which he intended to hide once she was in the shower. Opening the wardrobe, he took a towel, a shirt and boxers out of it. He had no doubts that she was just as soaked as he was, so he left it up to her to decide whether she wanted to wear it or not. He'd already seen that his two sweatpants were buried below a pile of dirty socks, so he knew better than offering those to her. His other clothes would be to wide for her.

Jamie tried to stand up. She grabbed his shoulder to keep herself in balance and carefully placed her foot on the ground.

"Try to walk a bit?"

He wanted to make sure her ankle wasn't broken. With a painful grimace on her face she shuffled forward; at least she could put some weight on it.

"I'll put a chair in the bathroom, maybe that makes it easier to dress and undress."

While she limped to the bathroom, he took the chair standing in the corner of his room, shook off the clothes and put it down in the bathroom. Even though he wanted to pull her in his arms, he didn't dare to; he didn't know if she was still mad at him.

"I'll wait in my room, but take your time okay?" His hand briefly stroked hers, then he returned to his bedroom and started to clean up the mess a bit.

* * *

Jamie felt a lot better after a hot shower, it felt like all bad feelings disappeared with the water in the shower drain. Once she felt warmed up, she put on the clothes Esai had given her. The shirt was way too wide; the sleeves reaching down to halfway her forearms and it was so long it covered the boxers. It felt a bit weird to wear his underwear, but on the other hand they could easily pass for shorts. She hung her wet clothes over a heating hose and brushed her hair, leaning with one hand against the washbasin because she didn't want to put too much weight on her foot.

A little nervous she returned to her bedroom. He had been so sweet that she felt ashamed of the bad thoughts about him, and at the same time she couldn't get Danny's words out of her head. He got off his bed the moment he saw her.

"Shanty hasn't returned with clothes for you yet. You mind if I take a shower too?"

Jamie shook her head.

He glanced briefly at her, seemed to want to say something, but in the end he just disappeared into the bathroom. Jamie sat down on his bed. For a while she listened to the falling water. Only now, she realized how tired she felt. She crawled further on the bed and laid down. Her lips curled into a smile as she smelled his scent and she closed her eyes.

Only when the bathroom door opened, she opened her eyes again. Her cheeks flushed as she discovered that he was only wearing boxers. Her eyes were glued to his chest and tight stomach, making her feel so hot that she wondered if that had been the goal of him walking around half naked. Quickly she looked away. She heard how he walked to his wardrobe, and a moment later the mattress sank. She wanted to get up, but he laid a hand on her knee.

"You can lie down a little longer if you like?"

"Okay." She bit her lip.

He laid down next to her, his face turned towards her. His body was fully clothed again, although she could still picture his bare chest.

"Are you mad at me?" he asked.

His voice sounded soft, even a bit insecure. Jamie didn't know what to answer. No, she wasn't mad. But she was questioning everything he said now, wondering if he was still playing some kind of game.

"Danny told me you don't do girlfriends. Because you have always... pretty girls at your disposal. And I know that I'm not your girlfriend but – but if there's nothing serious about this for you..." She bit her lip again.

"Danny's a dumb ass. He's not even one of us." His fingers stroked her hair. She liked the small touch so much that she started to glow all over her body. "It ain't like nobody of us is capable of a serious relationship. Two years ago I had a girl too, for over a year. She didn't like my involvement with the club, but I never cheated on her or somethin'. And my dad... he's with my mom for over thirty years. We bikers can be faithful." He lowered his hand and laced their fingers. "Listen baby. I won't deny that I've slept with many, many girls 'cause I don't wanna lie to you. But by contrast, I've only been in love a few times." He lifted her hand and kissed the back of it without taking his eyes off hers. "And I think I've already fallen in love with you."

She stared at him with wide eyes. That was a confession she hadn't seen coming after all the doubts that had plagued her the past days. "You mean that?" she whispered.

He nodded, his thumb calmly brushing the side of her hand.

She tore her glance away from him and stared at the blanket between them. She wanted to believe him so badly, but she couldn't forget Shanty's words; that he knew exactly what she wanted to hear and that he might tell this to every girl.

"You don't believe me," he concluded. "That's okay, I get it. Trust needs to grow, we have to get to know each other better..." Again, he lifted her face. Wherever his fingers touched her skin, she thought to feel little flames. "But I _really_ like you, Jamie. Every time I come home after a rough day, I wish you were there to make me smile or to just hold me. Sunday was just... perfect." He took a deep breath, looking straight into her eyes. "You are perfect."

Again the heat traveled to her cheeks. Why did he tell her all those sweet things? She wanted to snuggle up to him, to see if the feeling of Sunday would return, but she didn't dare to.

"I know that I'm not perfect," he said. "My reputation with girls is just one example. We're gonna need more dates to learn about our good and bad sides. But after that... I hope you wanna be my girl. If you still like me."

His openness gave her weak knees. She remembered Juice's words; that he had also been a player before he met Daphne. Suddenly she could no longer bear the distance between them and she snuggled up to him. His arms glided around her and he pulled her against his chest. It felt so good, it was impossible to deny. The moment she felt his arms around her, it felt like they were back at the train station. "I can't imagine I will ever not like you," she muttered.

He pressed a kiss in her hair.

For a while she kept lying in his embrace, then she looked up to him. "Can I ask you something?"

"Whatever you want, _chiqui_."

She hesitated. She wasn't sure she wanted to know the answer, but it was an important question. "Have you been with another girl since we met?"

He studied her face for a while. "Yeah I have," he sighed.

She dropped her eyes. The answer hurt, even though she was glad that he was honest.

"That Friday after I had brought you home, I slept with a girl. Not someone who meant anything to me... It was more out of habit. From the moment we met I thought you were really nice. But only that night and the next day, I realized how much I liked you and I discovered I couldn't get you outta my head. That Sunday, I fell for you and ever since, there hasn't been another girl on my mind." His hand glided to her jaw and he stroked her skin until his thumb traced her bottom lip. "I know we're only dating, but you're the only one I want. Until you tell me you don't want me, you will be the only one for me. I promise you, Jamie."

Even though she found it scary, feeling the urge to protect herself, she decided to believe him. The sparks were racing across her body now he was so close to her and she wanted to give it a chance. Whatever Shanty said, whatever Danny said. He gave her a feeling nobody else had ever done and she didn't want to give that up so easily.

She looked up to him. This time it were her fingers stroking his jaw. She moved them to his lip, tracing the goatie starting below it. She stared into the mysterious blue of his eyes. They were so different than Danny's, or Kev's. So much softer, so much sweeter.

She leaned closer to him and kissed his lips. His hand shoved to her neck as he kissed her back. His tongue glided across hers, shooting off fireworks in her stomach. It wasn't their longest kiss, but it was one she was sure she would never forget.

"You want me to bring you home?" he asked, pressing a soft kiss to her bottom lip before he looked up to her. "Or do you wanna stay here?"

Jamie didn't even have to think about it. Under no circumstances she wanted to leave his arms.

"I wanna stay with you," she said softly.

The smile her words caused on his lips, made her snuggle up even closer to him. He laid a kiss on her forehead. "You can stay with me for as long as you like. As long as you give your roomie a heads up this time. Before he charges in and pulls you out of my arms," he winked.


	15. Tortolitos

His chest rose and fell underneath her head. She listened to his heartbeat while his fingers glided through her hair. Every time his fingertips lightly touched her skin, it sent a wave of goosebumps across her arms. It had been a while since they had spoken, but she liked the silence. It made her more aware of his touches, his scent, his presence.

A knock on the door ended the peaceful moment. "Es?" It was Kevin. "We have her clothes."

"We?" he muttered. "I guess Danny isn't the only one tryin' to get something new in his bed." He got up and looked at her. "You wanna change so we can go to the clubhouse or do you wanna stay here?"

"We can spend some time with them," Jamie answered. "After all, they've been looking for me in the pouring rain."

Esai showed her a grin. "Kevin is a prospect. If I tell him to sit in a puddle of mud for 24 hours, he will." He headed to the door, talked briefly with his friend and took the clothes.

Jamie pulled the simple black sweatpants over the boxers and chose Esai's shirt over Shanty's. Since her shoes and socks were still soaked, she walked to the door barefoot. Her ankle still hurt, but as long as she moved carefully she thought she could deal with the pain.

Before she reached the door, Esai pulled her in his arms. He caressed her cheek as he looked her in the eye. His glance was so intense it made her blush.

"Once we're in the clubhouse, I will tell 'em you're mine. Don't get scared, we'll do it in our own good time but I gotta make sure no one's gonna bother you like Danny did and the only way I can is by tellin' 'em you're mine. You okay with that, _chiqui_?"

His blue eyes seemed to see so much more than her eyes alone. Butterflies swirled through her stomach. "I wanna be yours already," she whispered, hypnotized by the breathtaking blue she was staring into. "I don't wanna be anyone's but yours."

"Oh Jamie..." His arms glided around her and he gave her a slow kiss. Immediately she got carried away by his lips. Tinglings shot through her body like little bolts of lightning, illuminating even the farthest corners of her body. "You're way too sweet. I like you so much." His forehead rested against hers. "But first talk to your friend okay? And wait to see how you feel tomorrow. I just don't wanna rush things, you have to be hundred percent sure you want to be mine."

The more he said, the more confident she was about her feelings. He was the perfect mix between sweet and tough, between careful and risky, between mysterious and open. She knew what she wanted, but she nodded nevertheless. Haste was never a good thing. Even though her heart had already decided for her, there was no harm in keeping it to herself a little longer.

He gave her another small kiss before he took her hand in his, squeezing it while he smiled at her. Jamie almost forgot how to breathe; it felt like her feet barely touched the ground as they left the room.

"I will introduce you to my old man first," Esai said as they entered the clubhouse. She had already seen his father the first time she'd been here, although she hadn't known they were family. "This is Jamie, _mi_ _ángel_ _._ "

Her cheeks flushed as he called her his angel. Reluctantly she pulled her hand away from his to offer it to his father, but he pulled her into a hug immediately. His mustache tickling her cheek as he kissed it.

"I'm Marcus. _Bienvenido_ _a la_ _familia_ _,"_ he said.

Shyly, she looked away. That had been quick. Despite his status as the president of a motorclub, he had a warm expression; very different from Clay.

"Thank you," she said softly. "I uh... I don't know a word of Spanish."

" _Gracias_ _,_ " Esai whispered in her ear, his hand on her hip. The Spanish whisper made her shiver, it sounded _so_ hot.

The man smiled as she repeated the word, trying to sound as Spanish as she could.

" _Muy_ _bien_ _,_ _pequena_ _._ But I can express myself in English too, don't worry." He gave her a wink.

Esai wrapped an arm around her waist and introduced her to some of his brothers.

"Is your mom around too?" she asked curiously.

He shook his head. "No, she's babysittin' Tessa."

His little sister, she knew, who was only nine months old. It was a little strange that he had such a young sister; his parents must have been teenagers when he was born.

They walked over to Shanty and Kevin; the biker was teaching her how to play pool, standing very close to her, although her friend didn't seem to mind. Could that become something too? Double dating, that would be so amazing!

* * *

Shanty looked up when the couple neared them. She still didn't know what to think of it. The way he whispered in her ear, his hand moving up and down her side, that arrogant smirk... It just felt all too familiar.

His friend didn't treat Shanty any different, as if he was following some recipe. In a way, it was hilarious. She knew Kevin since she was seven, although she hadn't seen him in years. Since they were raised in the same neighborhood, they hung out a lot when they were children. He had been a busy kid, even a bit girly now and then. He had been one of the few boys who had wanted to play with her Barbie dolls and didn't feel ashamed of it. Oh, how many hours they had spent together... However, when he went to high school he had wanted to become some cool kid, no longer interested in being friends with her. And now... Now he was trying to become part of a motor gang.

Time had been good to him. He had turned into a handsome man, one that clearly tried to wrap a girl around his finger, every night of the week a different one. Her body responded heavily to him, she caught herself liking to feel him close and his little touches set her on fire. He had even tried to kiss her twice this evening, but his charms didn't completely blind her. She knew damn well it meant nothing to him and although she liked to flirt a bit, she wasn't interested in becoming the next club slut.

"We gotta talk."

She looked to the side. His blue eyes stared coldly into hers and it wasn't hard to guess what he wanted to talk about. Shrugging her shoulders, she glanced at Jamie, who had picked up a cue and was talking to Kevin.

"Fine."

Esai walked over to Jamie, spoke softly to her and pressed a kiss to her temple. The way her friend looked up to him, gave her knots in the stomach. She was totally smitten and it felt like she saw the dreamy faces of her friends flashing by. Followed by their tear stained faces, their quiet sobs because Esai Alvarez had broken their hearts.

Shaking off the images, she went outside with Esai. Leaning against a fence, he lit a cigarette. Shanty didn't like cigarette smoke, but came to stand next to him nevertheless.

"Why did you tell her all that bullshit about me."

"Bullshit?" She raised her eyebrows, she hadn't thought that he was going to play the innocent boy. "We both know girls are just toys for you. It has always been that way."

Frowning, he stared her in the eye. "Am I supposed to know you?"

Wronged, she crossed her arms. For some reason the thought that he couldn't remember her, stung; she hadn't changed _that much._ Or had he never noticed her at all? She hadn't been a wallflower, she had just been... normal. "We went to the same school for four years, asshole. Had plenty of classes together. You did almost all my friends, broke all their hearts and no matter how many times I warned them for you, it never helped. Do you even remember them? Joyce? Melissa? Ishana? Loïs?"

He squinted his eyes a little as if he was trying to picture their faces. "Those last two do ring a bell... Loïs... she was that hot blonde, right?"

"A brunette!" she snapped.

A smirk flashed across his face. Shanty clenched her fists; he hadn't changed a bit!

"Sorry. Just not good with names and faces."

"Because all you saw was a piece of meat you could stick your dick in!"

Their was still a stupid grin on his face. Shanty was close to slapping him; so many of her friends had lost their virginity to this asshole, she didn't want her new friend to be the next one.

"You jealous because I was never interested in you?"

Shanty almost exploded with anger. The arrogance on his face told her he really believed so. "No," she growled.

It wasn't completely true. It had bothered her sometimes. Not because she wanted to be touched by him, but because his ignorance ate her confidence away. As if she was way uglier than the rest of the school.

"I get it okay? I hurt all of your friends and now you're afraid the same will happen to Jamie. But I really like her. I also know how vulnerable she is and that she's still a virgin. If I just wanted her for a fuck, I would have claimed her pussy days ago. I know that she's in love with me, that her borders are fading every time I touch her. She wouldn't stop me. But deep down I know she ain't ready and I respect that. And I admit – most girls I barely respected. But I respect her. I really care about her."

Shanty huffed. "Nice words, but not a single one convinces me that you're not going to hurt her."

He bit his cheek, casting his glance at the ground.

Seeing Esai Alvarez dropping his eyes... Well that was something new.

"You know that I'm right!" she called out. "You know you're going to hurt her!"

As he looked up again, the blue in his eyes seemed darker. "Even if I hurt her, it's not because of the reason you think. Not because I'm going to trade her for some slut."

"Then why are you going through with this?! If you already know you're going to hurt her!"

"Because I hurt her too if I dump her now!" His voice sounded snappy. "And call me a selfish prick if you like, but I _want_ her and I'm not going to give up a girl like that just because I might hurt her one day. I'll do anything I can to make sure that never happens. This ain't your fucking business, Shanty. She's not a plaything to me, that's all you need to know. Stop tryin' to tear us apart. I can give my girl whatever she needs, that's all that counts."

"Your girl?" She raised her eyebrows.

To her surprise, a pink tinge spread across his cheeks. Stunned she blinked her eyes. Had she just seen the biggest player of Oakland _blush_?

"Maybe she's not my girl yet," he said in a growl. "But I'm gonna make her mine. Whether you're tryin' to mess it up or not. But know this, Shanty; tonight _you_ were the reason she cried for hours, second-guessing herself. You might believe that I'm not the perfect boyfriend, but you're a pretty lousy friend yourself too."

After these words he put out his cigarette and rushed inside.

Shanty sighed. She shivered, suddenly she felt how cold it was outside. His words hurt. She had never wanted Jamie to doubt herself, she had wanted her to doubt _Esai._ She just felt there was more going on here, otherwise he wouldn't have dropped his eyes. But how she could convince Jamie of his dubious intentions without hurting her... She had no idea.

* * *

As charming as Kevin might be; he didn't turn out to be the type of guy letting girls win. That she had played the game only a few times in her life, didn't affect his fanaticism. Jamie didn't care, she was a wonderful loser, although she still hoped to get the taste of it, shooting five balls into the hole right after each other. She had just lined up for her next shot when two arms slipped around her from behind, holding her tight. He held her in a different way than before, almost as if he was afraid it would be the last time.

"You're winnin'?"

His voice sounded a bit tense, as if he tried to sound nonchalant but failed. Shoving the cue on the table, she turned around in his arms. Her fingers stroked his stubbly cheek, she sensed something was bothering him. "What is it?" she asked softly.

"It's nothing." He sighed. His eyes rested in hers. "It just sucks that my... history with girls almost made you not wanting to see me anymore. If I hadn't found you... I dunno, my own panic shocked me. I barely realize how much you mean to me, let alone that I can convince you or your friend about my feelings."

She leaned into him, her lips brushing his. "I think you're actually pretty convincing."

As he kissed her back, she felt how his lips turned back to their usual grin. She giggled as he suddenly lifted her up and put her on the pool table. Standing between her legs, he started to kiss her again. His fingers glided underneath the back of the shirt she was wearing, settling on her lower back, his fingertips right below her waistband. She cupped his face with both hands as she returned the kiss, tenderly but diligently. For a moment she forgot the crowded clubhouse, the fact that Esai's dad could see them and that her friend still hadn't returned.

Only when a ball bumped against her hip, she came back to earth, cocking her head to the side. She was met by Kevin's wide grin.

"We got rooms for this, _tortolitos_ _._ "

"That sounds like crisps," she whispered to Esai, giggling. "I guess that's not what he meant, right?"

"No." Chuckling, his nose brushed hers. "It means _love birds._ " He kissed her below her ear and whispered: "What do you think? Time for our own little party?"

The way he looked at her, made her hold her breath. Her head was already nodding, her heart however told her something else. She looked around, her friend was still nowhere to be seen. "Did Shanty go home?"

"Dunno. Maybe she's still outside?"

Jamie slipped off the table. Since Esai hadn't returned from their conversation in a very bright mood, she wondered why her friend hadn't shown her face anymore.

"I'm going to see if she's outside." She pecked his lips, surprised by how naturally it felt and wormed her way through the partying crowd towards the door.

Shanty was standing on the side of the lot, her head bent. She looked lonely. Jamie tried to walk a bit faster, but slowed down when her ankle started to hurt again.

"Hey, why are you here?" she asked as she met with her friend.

Shanty looked up, showing her a sad smile. "I just needed a moment to myself."

"What did you two talk about?"

She sighed. "He wanted to know why I had told you that he was a player. Apparently, he never noticed me when we were in high school for he was sure he'd never seen me in his life."

Jamie laced her fingers. "You still think he sees me as a victory?" she asked quietly.

Shanty studied her face for a while as if she was contemplating her words. "He told me he really likes you and cares about you... he even accidentally called you his girl when he got mad. Maybe I was really wrong this time and maybe he does have real feelings for you. But I just have this feeling he's hiding something, I saw his fear to hurt you, but not by cheating on you. I don't know what it is, but there's more to this... It feels like..." Sighing, she became silent. "You know? Forget about this, Jamie. I'm having all those crazy thoughts and I don't wanna hurt you again. I was wrong when I told you he had no real feelings for you and I don't want to fill your head with more stupid theories. As it seems, the player fell in love this time and I guess that's the end of the story." Shanty wrapped her arms around her, giving her a hug. "I'm sorry for causing you all this drama tonight."

"It's okay," Jamie said. "I get why you wanted to warn me, and you couldn't have known that Danny knew very well how to get a rise out of me." She showed her friend small smile. "Esai was really sweet."

Shanty rubbed her upper arm. "I'm glad to hear that. I might not like him, but as long as he treats you well..." She smiled. "That's all that matters."

Jamie smiled from ear to ear. "So how about Kevin and you? Did I see some sparks there, huh?"

"Please don't even start," she laughed. "I know him since we were kids, playing with dolls!"

"Well he obviously likes you."

"He likes every girl."

"You said that about Esai too. Maybe you're wrong again." Suddenly, enthusiasm was coursing through her veins and she clapped her hands. "We really should do a double date, Shan! That will be amazing!"

She started to laugh. "I'd love to double date with you, but not with Kevin."

"Why not? Just for fun! Our last date was so amazing!"

Shanty hooked her arm around Jamie's while they walked back to the clubhouse. "I'm sure Esai wants to have some dates alone with you before he wants to have his annoying friend and your even more annoying friend around."

"After three dates," Jamie insisted. "After three dates we're going to do a double date! And then we go karting! Or no, horse riding! Wouldn't that be totally romantic?" She could already picture it; together on a horse like a real prince and princess.

Shanty burst out in laughing. "Well if you can get those two on the back of a horse, I'm totally in for that date."

Jamie flashed her friend a wide grin. "Oh, I will. I just don't tell them what we're going to do. I'm sure they don't want to back out once they're facing a horse. I can take a bit advantage of their machismo, right?"

Shanty grinned back. "Oh yeah, as much as you want."

. . .

**I'm curious! Who's #TeamEsai and who's #TeamJuice? ;)**


	16. Being Yourself

"You almost lost _l_ _a pajarita_ today, _hermano._ " Kevin wrapped an arm around his shoulders and glanced at the door through which Jamie had just disappeared. He scowled at his friend, not knowing if him calling her _little bird_ was some funny reference to her colorful hair or if it was some term of endearment. 

"You should have watched her closer instead of trying to talk that bitch into your bed."

Kevin rolled his eyes. "I didn't lose sight of her for five minutes. After all your obvious flirting I thought she would survive a few minutes with Danny alone. How the hell hell was I supposed to know that he was going to tell some shitty story about you?"

Esai didn't answer. Instead, he looked around. The man was nowhere to be seen. Good, at least there was a little bit of brain left in that head. 

"Anyway, seems like you two are back in paradise. That girl got it bad, huh? Poor girl. It will break her once she finds out that..."

"She doesn't need to find out anything," he answered roughly. "She doesn't ever need to know."

Kevin lifted his eyebrows. "Sounds like you plan on keepin' her once you have what we need."

Esai shrugged his shoulders, silently cursing himself for giving his friend a glimpse of his true feelings. 

Suddenly the smirk on his friend's face became wider. "Wait a minute, _hermano._ You _really_ like her?" He started to laugh. "That would be so fucked-up. If you don't only break her heart, but yours as well."

Esai gritted his teeth, being close to knock the grin off his friend's face. He however kept his hands to himself and peeked at the entrance. The fact that Jamie was talking to Shanty now, made him nervous. Her friend obviously didn't like him and he had already sensed that she knew that his intentions weren't completely pure. Was she trying to convince Jamie to walk away from him? He didn't want to fuck this up and especially not because of some stupid bitch who had no business here anyway. How the hell should he explain _that_ to his father? He didn't want to ruin this task after only a few days because of some smartass friend. He just hoped he'd been convincing enough, earlier tonight. 

Esai relaxed a little as Jamie smiled at him when the two girls walked inside. That was a good sign. The moment she had walked across the room, he enveloped her in his arms, pulling her to his chest. Despite all the half naked girls around him, it was Jamie who was giving him a hard one by just wearing his shirt. It called up a possessiveness, as if the piece of cloth told the world that she was his, and his alone. 

"Ready to go?" he whispered in her ear. He couldn't wait to be alone with her, instead of under the watchful eye of all those people who believed this was just an act. 

Jamie nodded, her smile so beautiful he wanted to pull her even closer. He loved that smile, that was so honest and care-free. His hand glided in hers and after saying goodbye to Kevin and Shanty, he took her to his room. 

"I told Shanty I'd like to double date after our third date. If you think that's fun too." She wrapped her arms around his waist and looked up to him. 

Her eyes were glimmering in anticipation. Esai intended to never tell her anything that would extinguish the lights in her eyes, so he kissed her lightly. "Sounds good."

She kissed him back. Without breaking the kiss he led her to his bed. The caresses of her tongue called up a deep desire inside him, one that hadn't been slaked in a few days. Her deep breathing made his heart beat faster and his hands were itching to explore her body. Would that be too soon for her? Her bra had been drying out in the bathroom, so he knew she wasn't wearing anything underneath his shirt. They were lying on their sides. His hand rested on her hip and he hated the fact that his shirt was so oversized he couldn't subtly shove his fingers underneath it. 

Instead, he moved his hand across the fabric until he reached her breast. As he squeezed softly, she gasped into his mouth. Her response to his touch turned him on even more; he wanted to know how she would react when he stroked her breasts, as he would lavish them with kisses and suck her nipples. 

"You make me feel hot all over, _chiqui_ ," he whispered between their kisses. He had seen her flushed cheeks when he had left the bathroom shirtless and hoped to see that blush again soon. Sitting up, he took off his shirt. 

Shyly, she bowed her head. Laying a hand against her cheek, he lifted her face so he could look her in the eye. "You're cute when your cheeks flush."

Her cheeks reddened even more, and he smirked because she didn't know where to look. Before she would really start to feel uncomfortable, he leaned into her again to kiss her. This kiss was more ardently, setting his whole body on fire. His teeth sunk into her bottom lip as her fingertips slightly brushed his chest. Her touch was light, but when she neared his abs she flattened her hand, his muscles contracting to her touch. His desire flared up, his arm slipped around her waist and he pulled her closer. She had felt his erection before without panicking, convincing him she wouldn't mind this time either. His lips left hers as he dotted kisses to her neck. Her breathing faltered, the sigh rolling off her lips causing goosebumps on his arms. Desperately longing for more he lifted up her shirt and slipped his hand underneath it. With fingers spread his hand glided across her flat stomach. For a moment he paused to give her the ability to stop him, when she didn't, his hand moved higher until he cupped her breast. The moment he started to knead it, pressing his thumb against her nipple, he felt her tense. Hesitating, he broke the kiss. 

"Am I going too far?" he asked. 

She avoided his glance. "I – I don't know."

"Does it feel wrong?"

Her eyes shot back to him. "No," she whispered.

"As long as it doesn't feel wrong, it's all good," he said confidently. Now he had finally touched her breasts, he didn't want to give up on them so soon. 

Still he noticed that she was tense, and a little disappointed he pulled back his hand. 

"There's nothing to be afraid of, _chiqui._ Why are you so tense?" He thought back to Sunday night, when his hands had slipped into her panties. She had been much more relaxed than she was now. 

"Sound carries in this place," she muttered. "It makes me feel – uncomfortable."

Esai was so used to sleeping here he didn't even hear the sounds anymore. Now he paid attention to it, he discovered that his brother in the room next to him was having a good time with some of the club girls. He chuckled to hide his shame and pressed a kiss to the corner of her mouth. 

"Sorry. I've learned to ignore sounds like that a long time ago." He gave her an apologetic smirk, grabbed his phone and gave it to her. "Just put on some music."

Once music filled the room, they didn't hear the moans and thumping on the other side of the wall any more. Jamie seemed to relax a bit when he turned back to her. She climbed over him as she started to kiss him again, her knees on both sides of him. Laying his hands on her thighs he moved them upwards until they disappeared underneath her shirt again. Her lips explored his neck, every time a little more confident, until she was leaving wet marks on his chest and stomach. 

Her lips made the desire inside him sweeter, more painful. He wasn't used to a lot of foreplay; usually he lacked the patience and the girls knew that. But the way she kissed him, with so much care and like she didn't want to skip a single inch, made the love for this girl flare up. He wanted her to experience this too and sat up straight. With an arm around her waist he looked at her. 

"Take off your shirt." His voice was hoarse with longing and he bit his cheek as he heard how compelling he sounded. "I mean – if you want to, of course," he said quickly. "I just want to kiss every inch of your upper body too."

Again a pink tinge spread across her cheeks. Dropping her eyes, she moved her hands to the hem of her shirt, pulling it over her head. 

For a moment he took in the sight. Her breasts were a little smaller than he imagined, but like everything about her he found them cute. When she still avoided his glance, he lifted her chin to make eye contact.

"You're beautiful, _preciosa mía._ " His fingertips stroked her breasts, brushing her hard nipples that seemed to gleam in the light. His breathing sped up while the blood rushed to one particular area. Pressing his lips to her shoulder, he started his journey leading to her breasts, knowing he was the first man to explore these lands. Carefully he turned her on her back while he kissed her breasts and took her nipple between his lips. 

She moaned softly while her fingers glided through his hair. As he massaged her left side, he gently sank his teeth in her nipple, tugging softly until she whimpered. Kissing his way up to her lips again, he created some distance, his face hovering above hers. His lips were quivering as he smiled at her, he couldn't shake off the fear that she didn't enjoy this as much as he hoped. Yeah, he got a high from claiming a girl that was never touched by someone else, but he also knew she had expectations of her first time and although he usually didn't care much about them, he did want to meet hers. 

She looked up to him. For a long time they just stared into each other's eyes. He knew she found his eyes beautiful, but he didn't love hers any less; they were greenish one time, and more blueish the other time. His thumb slowly stroked her bottom lip until she laid her lips around his fingertip, sucking it as her tongue traced the edge of his nail. 

"Fuck baby," he said in a growl as he saw flashes of other images. "I'd love to feel those lips around something else."

His own words gave him a cramping feeling in the stomach, which only became worse when she froze. Her cheeks had turned flaming red. 

"Sorry," he muttered. "You're messin' with my head, _querida._ This thought should have stayed there, I'm sorry baby." He rolled off her, but pulled her close enough for their chests to share their heat. "I really try to behave but you drive me crazy little girl. You're so fucking beautiful, I can't believe no one ever tried to win your heart."

She looked up to him. He read the doubt in her eyes and felt bad about it. Had she been bullied in school? She had quite a pronounced taste for her looks. He liked it, but back in high school he would have been shortsighted enough to make fun of someone like her. An even more unpleasant thought invaded his mind. What if she would discover the real reason that he had started to date her? Would she be afraid that he would be only interested in the Sons? Would it destroy her fragile self-image even more? 

She stroked his cheek, pulling him back to the here and now. 

"What's going on?" she asked, her eyes wide and full of worry. 

She was so sweet... and so completely different from his two exes. The first only had eyes for her own problems, and he had never dared to open up to the other, sensing that she wasn't a big fan of his sensitive side – one not many people knew about. She had preferred his tough side, his arrogance, the masks he was so used to wear that he wasn't even sure whether they were still masks at all. But Jamie... somehow she managed to unclothe him further than any other girl had ever done, and only by asking simple questions. But it was that genuine, loving look in her eyes what stroke him so forcefully. 

Shaking off his thoughts, he raked a hand through her colorful hair. "Sometimes it feels like you don't feel beautiful. I wondered – if you've been bullied in the past."

Sighing, she cast her glance at the ground, although she looked up when she started to talk. "I always felt different than the other kids. It already started at a very young age; when the other kids found out that I had no dad and two moms. They thought it was weird, and I didn't know any better. I didn't care much, but somehow it felt like I didn't really fit in. I'm not sure if they shut me out or if I shut myself out, but by the end of middle school I had no friends left. I remember when I celebrated my 13th birthday party and nobody came."

Esai wasn't someone who was very sensitive to someone else's pain, but when a tear rolled down her cheek he felt a lump in his throat, and he pulled her closer to him. No wonder she was doubting herself so much, hiding her insecurity behind a curtain of joy. 

"Did things change when you went to high school?" he asked softly. 

She shrugged her shoulders. "I didn't want to stand out anymore. I told everyone that I had normal parents, a mom and a dad, I wore clothes I didn't like but which were popular among the other teens, I pretended to like things the others liked too..." She sighed. "I did it for two years. For two years I pretended to be someone else, and I still felt lonely and unhappy." She bit her lip. "During that time, my brother had left the country too; he had just graduated and wanted to travel around the world. He was in shock when he returned, said I was only a shadow of the girl I used to be." Her lips curled into a sad smile. "He threw all my clothes in a garbage bag, dragged me from shop to shop to fill my wardrobe again. The only clothes he bought, were the ones that lit up my face. He told me I could never change for anyone; that I was beautiful and that it wasn't my fault if others were too blind to see. He helped me to discover my own style, helped me to find back myself... and he kept telling me that I would meet people with the same interests. And I did, I met a girl who loved the same bands and who designed her own clothes, and she introduced me to her group of friends."

Jamies words silenced him. He could feel this was a battle she was never done fighting. He thought about the kids he used to bully because they were different, wondering if his words still influenced their lives. His dad had already been the club president when he was in high school, making Esai feel like a real man, waving the middle finger at everyone who even looked at him. He thought back to Shanty's accusations. If he was honest, he had to admit that she was probably right. If Jamie had gone to the same school, he had probably considered her as a trophy; he would have made her feel like the most beautiful girl on earth for one night, and then he would never have looked at her again. 

Sighing, he rolled on his back and stared at the ceiling. Her head felt heavy as she laid it on his chest. "I guess you never pretended to be someone else," she said softly. "You're disappointed in me?"

Her words made him laugh, even though it sounded hollow. "I honestly don't even know who I am, let alone that I know what's the real me." He dipped his head to kiss her crown. "And nobody else ever made me think about it."

She turned around, folding an arm underneath her chin to support her head while she looked at him. "Why are you not sure about that?"

Esai thought about her question. He had slept with more than hundred girls, and with not a single one he had a deep conversation like he was having with Jamie. "I don't know. My future was always planned for me. I would become a mechanic and follow my father's footsteps as a president of the club. I never wanted something else... I didn't even wonder if there were other things I would like.... And because of that... it feels like the club decides who I am, instead of me."

During his answer he had lifted his hand to stroke her face; every touch seemed to awaken something new inside him. 

"Maybe you need someone who can show you who you really are. Like my brother did."

There was no doubt that she wanted to help him, but he knew there was no other future for him than one with the club. He had never wanted something else and even fantasizing about a life without the club felt like betrayal. The Mayans... they were his family, he could never walk away from them, not even if he wanted to. The club would always be the most important thing in his life. If not, he would lose everything he loved.

Still he felt bound all of a sudden, less free than he always believed he was. 

He wrapped his arms around her. "I'm happy your brother showed you the real you, my love. You are a wonderful person." For the first time tonight he felt his own cheeks flush, but he didn't fight the sensation. Around her, he could be himself. Whoever that was. "A wonderful person I'm very much in love with."

Their lips connected again, and they didn't leave each other alone for another hour.

* * *

Esai missed her the moment he dropped her off at Shanty's house. It was childish, but the moment he returned to the clubhouse he put on the shirt she had worn yesterday, which was still wearing her scent. There were strange jitters in his stomach, making him wonder if these were the famous butterflies. He couldn't remember he'd ever felt them before.

With a cup of coffee he sat down next to his father. "Did Knuckles and Luis find the stuff?" he asked.

After a bloody interrogation last night, Esai had retrieved the address of where they thought a part of their stolen drugs was hidden. Nobody tipped off a large amount of drugs without benefiting from it; they had sensed not everything had ended up in the hands of the police. 

"Yes, you did good work my son." His father patted his shoulder.

Esai always felt like a little child when his father gave him a compliment, since it was very rare. 

"And things are going well with the girl too, I see?"

Nodding, he stared into his coffee. "You like her?"

His father hated both of his exes. The first he'd found weak because she was struggling with depression, and after a suicide attempt he had tried to convince Esai to dump her because she would never be a good old lady. It had taken him months to really take that step; the girl had threatened to end her life if he broke up with her and she had kept him on a leash for a long time. His next girlfriend, three years later, had been way too mouthy for his father's liking; she doubted everything anyone said, had an opinion about everything and never supported him in whatever he did. 

"Why?" His father's voice sounded sharp.

Esai shrugged his shoulders.

"Why does it matter if I like her?" The moment he switched to Spanish, he knew his father was getting worked up. "Just do what you have to do." He paused. "You are not going to tell my that you have fallen for that girl, right? Come on son, do you really have to complicate such a simple task?"

"I'm not complicating anything," he answered annoyed. "I have everything under control, okay?" He looked up to his father to convince him of his words.

His father looked him straight in the eye. "I am counting on it. This is a great opportunity, do not be stupid and ruin it. She is just a means to a goal, nothing more and nothing less. Do not fool yourself, son."

Esai stared at his hands. He had to find a way to do his job without having to give up Jamie. The only thing he needed was time and the club's trust to let him deal with things in his own way. Jamie would get mad, but once they were in a serious relationship, she might be willing to forgive him instead of seeing the worst in him. His thoughts shot back to the conversation of last night and he swallowed a sigh, hoping her damaged self-image wouldn't ruin his chances with her and pulverize her trust in him. 


	17. Under The Stars

Juice knew he shouldn't lie to his old lady. He did it nevertheless. 

He told Daphne he had club business tonight; that he would be home late and would go to sleep immediately. 

In reality he wanted to be alone with Jamie. Daphne might have apologized to her, but Juice wasn't sure Jamie dared to be honest when the other girl was around. He didn't want to cause his roommate any more stress; the past days had been tough for her. It was probably a good sign that she had stayed in Oakland tonight, although he had a hard time being happy about it. He would never tell her, but he wished she would dump that guy before he would really hurt her. 

He turned around when the door opened. 

"Oooh, this smells so good!" she called out as she entered the room. Jumpy, she ran to the oven and peered into it. "What have you made?"

"Uh, something with fish and vegetables. Found it on the internet."

She turned around. "Yummy. I can't wait to taste it." She patted her stomach. "Oh, I forgot to hug you!" Before he could blink, she threw her arms around him. "Hi Roomie!"

"Hey beautiful." His arms slipped around her and he held her tight. Immediately something awoke in his stomach; something increasing the wish to hold her a little longer. She just felt so... perfect in his arms – like she belonged there. 

"Did you miss me?" she asked, quietly chuckling. 

"What?" Dazed, he stepped back from her. 

"You held me so tight. You're becoming a hug master!"

"Well I've learnt it from the best," he winked. The temperature of his face sped up, hopefully she didn't notice. "But yeah, I kinda missed you."

He didn't intent to flirt, but he held her glance almost naturally, showing her a smile that had made many knees weak.

But not Jamie's; she looked back with a happy face, returning a smile that _did_ make his knees feel weak. He sat down at the table and waited until she followed. She sat down across from him. Her knee was only an inch away from his knee, and he couldn't stop himself when he subtly shoved his foot a little forward so they were touching.

She didn't take her leg away – she didn't even seem to notice. "How was your day?" she asked. 

She was sweet for asking; her eyes told him she couldn't wait to tell about her own evening. 

"Nothing special," he answered. "Just work. How are you, James? Did you talk to him?"

She nodded, a rosy glow taking over he face. 

Jealous, Juice bit the inside of his cheek; _he_ wanted to be the one causing that blush on her cheeks.

"He was really sweet. When I... entered the bar and asked his friend where he was, he told me he had taken a girl to his room." She dropped her eyes. Although they had probably worked things out, he still felt the pain she'd gone through. There was a prickling sensation in his fingertips; he wanted to shove his hand across hers, even when she didn't need to be comforted right now. But when she told him how she had ran away in panic, strained her ankle and had been crying in an alley for an hour, he could easily picture the scene. 

"Esai never took a girl home," she said. "His friend just said that to scare me, so I would want him to cheer me up. Esai was... working late, and when he heard that I ran away he searched for me in the pouring rain, carrying me back to the bar once he'd found me. He uh – he lives close to the bar, so he let me take a shower while Shanty got me some dry clothes. And I could wear his shirt." Her cheeks turned flaming red, and she flinched a little as if she could no longer handle the butterflies in her stomach. 

Juice felt anything but butterflies – it rather felt like there was a pile of rocks in his stomach. There was a bitter taste in his mouth. Everything he'd heard about Esai up to now, hadn't exactly changed his first impression; he still sounded like a player, someone toying with her. He was almost sure the guy had really been fucking another girl, but he knew better than telling her that. 

"When you stayed over for the night... Did he nothing... you didn't want him to do?" He couldn't help but sound tense; he just had a really bad feeling about all this. 

She dropped her eyes. As her cheeks reddened even more he felt a pang in his chest; they had clearly gone second base. 

"I wasn't sure what I wanted," she whispered. "Everything just felt... great. He was so sweet and he asked if I liked what he was doing the whole time."

Something cold and dark rushed through his veins. Of all people, it was that arrogant prick who had access to parts of her no one had ever touched before, and the thought of it made the stones in his stomach double in size. 

He swallowed as Jamie stared back at him with wide eyes, expectantly, as if she expected him to tell her whether they had done something normal in the current stage of their relationship or whether it had been better to wait. Juice was close to buying her a chastity belt, but deep down he knew it was ridiculous; she was a grown woman who had to make her own choices. Even when he didn't like them. 

"Why don't you invite Esai over next time?" Juice asked. Maybe he could talk a bit with the guy to find out whether he was serious about Jamie or not. 

Before Jamie could answer, the timer of the oven went off. He stood up, put on the oven mitts and carried the casserole to the table. 

"Hmm, I'm not sure if he already wants to come here," Jamie muttered as he was seated again. She put some food on her plate, which she started to cut into pieces with great attention, as if she was trying to avoid his glance. 

"If he doesn't even want to know where you live and with who, he should neither do the things he did with you." His words sounded pissed, and immediately he felt ashamed. Quickly he reached for his glass and took a sip of water. "Sorry," he said quietly, sighing as he saw her staring at her plate. "I just want to get to know him."

She looked up skittishly, as if she was the one doing something wrong. "I'll ask him," she answered softly. 

* * *

The atmosphere during dinner stayed tense. Juice tried to get her to talk about other topics, but she was quieter than usual. He didn't know what to do with himself, he didn't want to ruin her mood. In an attempt to get rid of the frustration he took a long shower. When he returned to the living room, she wasn't around anymore. He sighed in disappointment. Had she already gone to bed? Had he really hurt her feelings? He cursed himself for being so tactless. 

"James?" He knocked at the door of her bedroom, opening it when she didn't answer. She wasn't there. Had she left? She hadn't gone back to that asshole, right? He walked to the balcony to see if he could see her somewhere on the street, and found here sitting on the ground. She had wrapped a rug around herself and was staring at the stars. Seemingly thoughtless her fingers glided through her hair while she was braiding it. For a while Juice just watched her. As hyperactive and enthusiastic Jamie was at many moments; at times she was very peaceful. It felt like she had given her worries to the wind. 

As he wanted to turn around because he didn't want to ruin her inner peace again, she looked over her shoulder. There was a dreamy smile on her lips, one so beautiful he wanted to trace it with his fingertips. 

"Come watch the stars with me," she said. "It always gives me peace." She lifted her arm. "We can share the blanket!"

Something warm stirred in his stomach. It alarmed him; it was probably better to create a little more distance between them. His feet however had a different opinion; they walked towards her. He sat down next to her on the floor of the balcony. Her arm brushed his back as she draped the blanket around them. 

It wasn't cold at all; right now he even had the feeling his insides were on fire. Nevertheless he grabbed the corner of the blanket and leaned against her. 

"In the city where I lived there were almost no stars," she told him, her eyes aimed at the sky. "But whenever we were on a vacation, Roman and I could watch them for hours. And in this little town they're very visible."

Juice's arm was uncomfortably stuck between their bodies. As subtle as he could, he wrapped it around her, hoping it felt natural for her. "You miss you brother a lot?" he asked. 

"Hmm, just a little. The past year I haven't seen him much, he was always busy working." She took a small scrunchie from the little pile on the ground next to her and tied it around the end of the small braid. "Do you miss your sister?"

He shook his head – he couldn't even remember the last time he had spoken to her. "We were never as close as you two."

A silence fell. From the corner of his eye he looked to the side. She was still looking at the sky, impressed by the far distance neither of them could see. 

"When will you see Esai again?" he asked. 

"Saturday. Then it's my turn to take him on a date." Her lips curled up. "I want to take him to an ice rink, I don't think he ever skated." She was quiet for a while, then she cocked her head to the side. "Have you ever been on a date with Daphne?"

"Not a date like you did... She's a waitress at a place I used to eat now and then; one day I asked her to get to a club with me and that night ended in her bed."

Her fingers moved to the other side of her hair. "Are you in love with her?"

For some reason he could no longer look her in the eye. Staring at the sky, he shrugged his shoulders. "I don't know."

"But you were once, right? You told me, when you said that players could have true feelings too."

"I thought I was in love," he muttered. "But you're making me doubt."

"Me?" From the corner of his eye he saw that she turned her head to the side again, lowering her braiding hands. Her voice sounded surprised. 

"You look so smitten," he said quietly. "I don't see it when I look into the mirror." He paused for a second and confessed: "I told Daphne I had to work tonight because I wanted to be alone with you. Just – to talk. We never talk much when she's around. She just wants... sex."

"But are you trying to talk with her? Just... Like we're sitting here?"

The idea that Daphne and he would sit underneath a blanket and watch the stars, was simply hilarious. Not exactly something he wanted to do. "I dunno," he muttered. "I think we feel mainly physically attracted to each other and not... on an intellectual level. If I'm honest, I don't even know if I've ever been really in love. I don't know how it feels."

"Well... there will obviously be butterflies in your stomach. You will think about her the whole time, you want to be with her, want to touch her the whole time... And you feel warm when she smiles at you, or if she accidentally touches you... You don't experience that with Daphne?"

"No," he mumbled. 

Not with Daphne, at least. 

"Maybe it's different for men? I don't know. I can ask Esai Saturday?"

Juice scrunched his nose. The last thing he wanted, was love advice from that prick. "No, you don't have to," he muttered. "I guess it won't be much different."

"I'm sure you'll fall in love one day," she said, laying her head on his shoulder. "You're such a sweet guy. And very handsome."

Juice knew he looked good, but hearing those words coming from Jamie's mouth caused his hands to become clammy. He pulled her a little closer and kissed her temple, by which his lips lingered a little too long on her skin. 

As she raised her head, they stared each other in the eye for a couple of seconds. Juice held his breath, a paralyzing feeling rolled through his chest and spread to his tingling fingertips. Her lips were so close... All he needed to do, was dip his head a little. His heart was raging in his chest, so wildly he was sure she could feel or hear it. He didn't dare to look at her lips, afraid it wouldn't be his eyes lingering on them, but his own lips. 

Suddenly she tilted her head a little, her eyes squinted. "Have you fallen asleep with your eyes open?"

Immediately he sat straight. "Huh?"

"You stopped talking."

A blush spread across his cheeks and he didn't dare to look her in the eye. "I uh... My thoughts drifted away. What did you say?"

"I asked if you know how to braid. I thought... Maybe you could braid the hair on the back of my head for it's hard to reach for me. Then I keep the braids until Saturday, so I'll have those beautiful little curls."

It felt ironic to help her look more beautiful on a date he didn't want her to go to, but at the same time he loved the feeling of her soft hair. 

"I never braided anyone's hair."

"It's not that hard. Look." She took a strand of hair between her fingers and showed him what to do. "That's all!"

"Well I can try..."

He was a little blindsided when she crawled between his legs, sitting with her back towards him. Hesitating, he lifted his hands, taking a strand and starting to braid it. 

For some reason it felt fucking relaxed to let his fingers slip through her soft hair. Now and then the muscles of her neck tensed as his fingertips slightly touched her skin because it tickled, and sometimes his touch even caused goosebumps. 

After a while he noticed that she had started to hum. It sounded cute, eliciting a smile on his lips. On the inside, he laughed about himself. Only three weeks ago, he had never thought he would ever braid his roomie's hair on the balcony floor. 

He however couldn't get enough of her warm skin. When all her hair was divided in little braids, he stroked them over her shoulders. He spread his hands across her shoulders and glided them back to her neck. Her skin was warm and supple, and carefully he started to knead her neck and shoulder muscles. Because of the physical work at her internship where she was bending her head the whole time, it wasn't exactly a luxury and he heard her sigh in pleasure. 

The sound made his fingertips tingle, and he thought about all the ways he could make her sigh like this. Oh, how badly he wanted to shove the straps of her top to the side, to trace her muscles with his lips... He sat up a little straighter when his pants started to feel tight, afraid Jamie would feel it. 

She turned her head a little to the side, and he discovered that she had closed her eyes. Knowing that she enjoyed his touch so much, he kept kneading her muscles until they were completely loosened up. 

"Hmm... If I tell my brother about the amazing massages I get for free from you, he's going to want to live here himself," she chuckled. 

He lifted the corner of his mouth. "Then you better keep your mouth shut. You're the only one getting free massages from me anyway." 

She giggled. It sounded so cute his lips turned into a smirk. There were countless comments racing through his head, insinuating that he would love to massage other body parts too, but he managed to keep them behind his lips. 

Eventually she snuggled up to his chest. "If this doesn't help me to sleep like a rose I must be cursed," she muttered in a sleepy voice. "I don't even want to get up anymore."

"Then don't," he said softly. "I'll carry you inside when I'm getting tired too."

"Okay." She smiled. "Sweet dreams, Roomie."

"Sweet dreams, James."

Whether it was appropriate or not; once Jamie's breathing told him that she had fallen asleep, he carefully laid his arms around her and pressed a kiss in her hair. Esai would probably kill him if he saw them sitting like this, but right know he could care less. 

For the first time in his life he was in love, and now, below the stars and with the girl he desired in his arms, he allowed himself one moment to pretend that she felt the same way about him.


	18. Symbols of Love

Esai clicked his tongue as he watched his cards. It was a 50/50 shot. The stakes were already high, but that sparkly ring kept attracting his attention. He wondered how it would look on Jamie. It was probably way too soon to give her a ring, but he couldn't imagine Jamie would make a big deal of it. 

His hand stroked across the back of the girl sitting on his lap. "Well, what shall we do, _guapa_?" His eyes were aimed at Kevin, but as usual he couldn't read his face. 

Lydia moved her lips to his ear and whispered: "You know I love daredevils."

"Okay, let's go all-in." He shoved the pile of money on his side to the middle of the table, Lydia's bracelet included. 

"Lemme see." Kevin flipped his cards. 

Esai smirked. They both had a four of a kind – but he had an ace. 

"Too bad, _'_ _mano_ ," he smirked at his friend, pulling the loot closer. He took the ring from between the money, the other jewelry he left to Lydia. With a sour face she looked at the ring. 

"That was mine."

"I won it fair and square, right?" With a grin, he slipped the ring in his pocket, laying a kiss on her cheek. 

"You're right," she answered quietly. Turning on his lap until she was sitting sideways, she started to kiss his neck. "You know you can take _everything you want_ from me."

Esai knew indeed – he had done so a couple of times. 

"You already have company for the night?" she asked. 

When her hand glided to his crotch, he decided this was the limit. "Why don't you cheer up Kev? He'll know what to do with two ladies after his heavy defeat."

She pouted. "But he ain't as hot as you." She held his glance. "Is it because of that girl?"

Esai hesitated. If he admitted he wanted to be faithful to Jamie, he would lift their relationship to a whole new stage. Something neither of them were ready for – after all, they only knew each other for a week. "Yeah," he said nevertheless.

She smiled, kissing his cheek. "That's sweet."

He felt his face glow; sweet wasn't exactly a word one used to describe him. 

She got up and walked over to Kevin, her hips swinging. Esai gathered the money he won, putting it in his walled. Then he headed for the bar to get himself a drink. 

"Did you really sent her away?"

His father's voice sounded disapproving. He knew why – he believed Lydia was the perfect Old Lady. She was a hangout for a while know, she was discrete, beautiful, knew this life and above all, she knew her place. 

Esai shrugged his shoulders and drank from his beer. "Jamie freaked out last Wednesday when Danny told her I took a girl to my room. I don't wanna risk it."

"She does not need to know. Just get your dick sucked, that girl is getting in your head."

Esai suppressed a sigh and pushed with his nail against the edge of the label on the bottle. "Lemme do this my way."

"Your feelings, son. They have always been in the way. Believe me – if you go through with this, you will get stuck with yourself the moment you betray her."

"I won't betray her," he grunted. "I just seize the opportunity to do something for the club. She doesn't need to know that it was our plan all along."

Plus, he wasn't just doing this to get closer to the Sons. It was just a nice side-effect.

"You are fooling yourself, _hijo_ _._ Maybe she is naive enough to believe you, but her roommate will not. He will explain to her why you wanted to date her."

Esai gritted his teeth. "Then I'll make it look like she was part of the conspiracy, so he will kick her out."

Problem solved; he would just take her to Oakland.

"You want the Reaper to believe she's a rat?" his father huffed. "Then she's as good as dead. I guess I am getting worked up over nothing if that is not bothering you. Good to know."

He turned away from his son and headed to his brothers. Esai swallowed a sigh. Frustration rolled through his body and for a moment he really considered to get his dick sucked to blow off some steam. Shaking the thought out of his head, he went to his room. Alone. 

The words of his father got their claws inside his head. Was he really fooling himself? And did he really put her in danger, would they hold her responsible? He clenched his fingers to a fist, relaxed them, clenched them again. The unrest didn't go away. 

* * *

Esai tossed and turned that night. A few times he woke up believing she was lying next to him, but the bed was empty on the other side. Yesterday's conversation kept haunting him –until she left the bus and threw her arms around him. 

The moment he looked into those innocent blue eyes and raked his fingers through her colored strands, he convinced himself nobody would ever want to hurt her. Not even the Sons. She was an angel, one radiating all kinds of innocence. 

For a moment he held her tight, then he pulled back his face so he could kiss her. He sighed softly against her lips before his tongue slipped between them. She tasted so wonderful, felt so amazing... He could completely lose himself in her and although he usually wanted to be the one in control, he didn't mind when he was with her. 

"Hey beautiful," he greeted her. 

The blush on her cheeks made his heart beat faster and he rubbed his thumb across the heated skin as she whispered a greeting. His fingers glided through her curly hair. 

"You did that for me, _chiqui_?" he asked with a crooked smile. 

Shyly she bit her lip, nodding. She looked so cute he pulled her even closer. "You like it?" she asked softly. 

"I think you're beautiful, whatever you do with your hair," he said honestly. His hand glided through her soft hair again. "But it looks playfully, those curls. I like it."

Her smile lit her face up. "Juice helped me braiding. The parts I hadn't good access to."

Esai tensed. "Juice _braided_ _your hair_?!"

She nodded, completely ignorant to the tension he felt. "Yeah, I taught him for he had never done it before. But it was hard to reach the hair on the back of my head."

Why the hell would Juice be okay with braiding her hair?! He didn't like the thought of other men touching her hair at all. What else had that prick touched? 

"Is he gettin' sick of pimpin' cars?" he huffed. "He's gonna be the club's hairdresser now? He can't do much about his own head; he barely has hair."

She sniggered. "Jax and Opie with braids. And Bobby. I'd love to see that!!"

He smirked, somehow those words wiped his annoyance away. "Tell me love, where do you wanna go?"

"I won't tell you yet," she teased, sticking out her tongue. "But I've memorized the route!" She walked past him to his bike and impatiently waved at the vehicle. "Come on, let's go!"

* * *

An ice rink. She had taken him to a fucking ice rink. 

Never in his life he had been on ice, and now she was going to make him skate while they were surrounded by countless others, by _kids_ who could better skate than him? He could already hear them laugh. The biker who was too stupid to skate. He was close to taking off his cut to attract no one's attention, but it would feel like he was betraying himself and the club. 

Jamie however, enthusiast as always, dragged him inside the building and yelled her shoe size at the guy behind the desk. 

"And you? What shoe size do you have?"

"Uh... 9.5/10." 

A moment later she pushed the skates in his hands. He suppressed a sigh. Maybe he could pretend to twist his knee after the first fall? He walked with her to the edge of the ice rink and it took forever until his skates were tied up. Secretly he wished someone would call him to get back to the clubhouse. He glanced at his phone to see if he had a missed call. He could also _pretend_ he needed to leave...

"Esai! Come on!!" He looked up. Jamie stood a few steps away from him, waving with her arms while twirling. She almost fell, but right in time she restored her balance. As she started to laugh, a smile crept to his lips as well. 

Putting his phone away, he carefully got up. He would never ever admit it to anyone but the whole thing scared him to death. Nervously he took a few steps, anxiously clutching to the railing. 

"Look! You can use this!" Jamie had found some kind of stool on which she leaned with her hands. "It will keep you from falling!"

A hint of shame spread across his cheeks. "Looks like a fucking walker on ice."

He felt too proud to use a tool, pushed himself away from the side, his skates slapping on the ice. It worked! He made a few movements with his feet – and then Jamie stood right in front of him and he had no idea how to stop. Stumbling he bumped into her, hitting the ice hard. 

"Fuck." Although the pain shot through his knee, he looked over his shoulder to Jamie. He could already picture her; with a broken skull in a pool of blood. She however sat on the ice, softly chuckling. He calmed down a little. 

"This shit is life-threatening girl."

She grinned. "Isn't that what you like, mister bad ass biker?" Quicker than he, she stood on her feet. "Well... Skate to me!" She spread her arms. "You can do it!"

Esai felt hot with embarrassment; it sounded like he got a screw loose. He took a few little steps, clawing around with his hands. Miraculously, he didn't fall. 

"You gotta try to slide, instead of stepping."

Esai cursed half-heartedly. He did as she told him, still having the feeling he could slam onto the ground any moment. 

"This is fucking embarrassing," he grunted as he finally reached her, wrapping his arms around her to keep himself from falling. 

He felt Jamie's shoulders slump down. "You don't like it?"

He looked up to her, read the disappointment in her eyes. He had the feeling she was about to cry and caressed her cheek. 

"I suck at it," he said. "Feels like everyone's watchin' me and laughing at me. A floundering biker on the ice... well that leaves a great impression."

"So?" She shrugged her shoulders. "Why would you care what they think of you? I think you're tough for trying it even when you suck at it and make a fool of yourself. If you're always worrying about what others are thinking of you, you're never free."

Esai studied her face, wondering if she'd learnt that from her brother after all the bullying. The fact that she felt so free now, was what made her so attractive and he had to admit her words made sense. They caused a grin on his lips. 

"Okay baby, you're right. Well, you better gimme a lesson of skating then."

Her face was beaming again. She skated a circle around him, then she grabbed his hand. "Okay, first your left foot..."

* * *

After two and half hour Esai wasn't exactly the next skating talent, but at least there was a proud smile on his face since he had been skating without falling for at least 30 minutes. When they started to become tired, they retreated to the side and ordered a drink. 

"Well, this was quite a date," he chuckled, lying his arm around her. "You've seen me at my worst now."

She chuckled softly. "Even that side his amazing."

She briefly pecked his cheek, looking away a little shy. His fingers glided through her hair as he cocked his head to the right and smiled at her. 

Jamie was afraid she would melt right there... Those eyes, that smile... She still couldn't believe he liked her. 

"So, what does the evening program look like?" He moved his eyebrows up and down. "I hope a little more privacy?"

She moved her hand to her shoulder, stroking her thumb across his fingers. "I thought uh... maybe we can go back to the railway station, buy some spray cans and make our own drawing? And uh – getting a pizza delivered?"

Creating something together, leaving behind a lasting memory... she thought it was romantic, something she'd never done with anyone else. 

"Oh oh – you're datin' me for what, a week, and you're already becomin' a little criminal?" He showed her a smirk. 

Jamie shrugged her shoulders, although her cheeks were slightly flushing. "It won't hurt anybody, and the building will only look nicer. At least with your creations, I'm not the best drawer."

"I'm sure there's a lot of creativity hidden inside you." He pulled her closer, kissing her jaw. "Let's see what our combined creativity brings us." He winked at her, then he pulled her on her feet. 

* * *

After buying a few spray cans in a hardware store, they chose an empty wall in the abandoned station where they wanted to leave their art. A boyish grin adorned Esai's face as he shook the can, musing out loud what he wanted to draw. His ideas became wilder and wilder, just like the gestures of his hands underlining his words. She slipped her arms around him. 

"It all sounds cool," she said as he asked for her opinion. The truth however was that she enjoyed listening to his vivid voice so much that she dreamed away. 

He turned around in her embrace, wrapping an arm around her waist. "It should be something we both like. What's important for both of us."

She thought about his words. "Maybe I know something." She blushed. "But maybe you think it's stupid."

He started to laugh. "Haven't you heard all the stupid ideas I tossed around?" He stroked her cheek. "I'm sure it's a great idea. Up to now all your ideas have been amazing."

"Maybe it's a bit... mushy."

"If anything's gonna be mushy it's my present for you."

"Present?" she asked in surprise. 

"I wanted to give it to you by the end of the night. But if you tell me your idea, I'll give it now."

"Okay ummm. Well I thought... You're a Mayan and it's my dream to be part of a Mayan excavation one day... and since we're in love with each other... I thought maybe we can write 'love' in Mayan hieroglyphs? It consists of four symbols. Cool ones. One looks like the head of a bird and another like that of a lizard. Wait, I'll show you." Taking her phone from her pocket, she opened Google, typed 'love mayan glyphs' and showed him the first image. 

"Hey that's awesome." He looked at her in surprise. "And not too difficult for your first attempt."

Instead of stepping away from him to get started, she gave him a tight hug. She sensed that he really found it an awesome idea and that he wasn't trying to please her. For some reason doing this together made her a little emotional; it felt like they really belonged together, and with the knowledge that they'd never met if she hadn't dropped her phone a week ago...

"Hey, you alright?" he asked as she pressed her face against his shoulder. He raked a hand through her hair, pulling a bit away from her to look at her. 

"Yeah I'm okay," she blushed. "Sometimes it just feels a bit unreal. You and me. It just feels... so perfect... I never experienced this with anyone else. And it frightens me, it's making me scared that you don't feel that way and..."

"Hey." He cupped her jaw with his hand and looked her in the eye. "I feel it too, love. And if I'm honest, I have to admit that it's a bit confusing to me too, because I'm doing things I never would have done with someone else." He rummaged in his pocket and took out a small box. "Like giving someone this at the second date. I don't think I'd dared to do that with someone else, so soon... But..." He shrugged his shoulders, this time his cheeks flushed too. "But I don't think I've ever been in love before. Not – not like this."

Her fingers were trembling as she took the gift and carefully tore off the paper. He was holding his breath, making her feel even more nervous. It was a small box, and when she opened it she stared with wide eyes at a ring. It was made of silver, with a colored crystal in the middle, showing the colors of the rainbow. Blue gems where shining at the sides where the jewel was attached to the ring.

In confusion she looked up. "This must have been super expensive."

"I guess." He lifted the corner of his mouth. "I could pretend it costed me an arm and leg, but the truth is I won it during a game of poker yesterday. But the moment the ring ended up at the table, I wanted it. I dunno, it's so colorful... it reminded me of you. I'm sure it looks great on you, if it fits..."

Jamie took the ring from the box and put it around her ring finger. It was a little too wide, but it fitted perfectly around her middle finger. Holding out her hand, she moved her fingers. The gem was sparkling .

"It's beautiful."

"It is. Almost as beautiful as you."

Jamie looked at him; something about his voice gave her goosebumps. Pressing his lips against hers he pushed her backwards, until she touched the wall. The kiss became more passionate. Her fingers stroked his face, those of him slipped underneath her shirt and quickly found their way to her breasts. As his rough hands started to knead them, she sighed softly, bending back her head when his lips wandered across her neck. 

"Let's show this wall a bit of our love before we leave our symbol on it," he whispered in her ear. 

The desire resonating through her body, made her shiver. In response she pulled at his his shirt. He got the hint immediately, pulled his shirt over his head and helped her take off hers. 

Esai turned her so that he was the one with his back against the rough wall. His fingers dug into her hair as he kissed her neck, softly tugging her hair to get better access to her skin. Heat blazed through her body at all the places his lips touched, and when he reached her breasts the desire was so strong that she moaned at the first touch. 

After playing with her nipples for a while, he kissed his way back to her lips and kissed her while his hands pushed her breasts up and down.

"And? Any objections to my contribution to this date?" he whispered against her lips. 

"No," she giggled. "But we're only doing this to claim the wall, right? It's all part of my agenda for today."

"Hm-hm." He smirked. "But once we're done with this wall, I wanna claim _every_ wall around here, _chiqui_ _._ "


	19. Make Love, Not War

They were sitting against the wall across from the one they had painted. Esai was leaning with his back against the stone, Jamie was sitting between his legs, her back against his chest. An empty pizza box was lying in her lap. Her fingers were covered in black paint, but luckily most of the graffiti had ended up on the wall. Esai had wrapped his arms around her and was pressing kisses to her shoulder, where her sleeve had glided down. 

It had been a while since they had spoken to each other, but Jamie didn't feel the urge to break the silence. It felt amazing to be just held by him. 

She glanced at the drawing they had made. It looked good. On some some spots the paint had dripped down, but the symbols were clearly visible. It was a beautiful design, with an even more beautiful meaning. 

Her fingers glided across his hands. There were healing wounds on his knuckles, and she caressed them with her thumb. "How did you get those?"

In silence he sat up a little straighter. "I beat someone up," he said. "Last Wednesday, when you were at the clubhouse. They had stolen some shit from us, something worth a lot of money, and it was my job to find out where they were hiding it and who had told 'em where to find it."

She felt a nasty sting in her stomach. "You mean... you tortured someone?"

He didn't answer immediately, and she looked over her shoulder. 

"Maybe," he muttered. "If you put it like that. He was in a gang tho."

She looked into his blue eyes. At least he was honest. She thought about the gun he had shown her the last time they had been here, and which he was undoubtedly carrying now too. "Did you ever kill someone?"

He hesitated, his glance slid away and returned to her eyes. "Two men, a year and half ago during a gunfight. We were at war, it was our crew against another. I had no choice." Lifting his hand, he stroked her face. "I know how to protect the people I care about. My family, you. But I would never hurt an innocent person, Jamie. That's not me. But our club... well, we're involved in violence sometimes. Just like the Sons, by the way. I'm sure Juice has pointed a gun at someone else too."

She tensed. "You ever shot at him?"

"At Juice?" He shook his head. "No. I only fired one bullet at a Son from another charter, years ago."

Quietly she turned away her face. All that violence... it was hard to imagine. She had never expected it from Esai, nor from Juice. "The other day Juice asked me when you come to my place."

He was silent again. Jamie looked over her shoulder and caught him staring past her, deep in thoughts. 

"What did you answer?" he asked eventually. 

She shrugged her shoulders. "That I would ask you. We can't hide this from him forever."

"I know," he muttered, rubbing his face. "It's just... I know he's gonna try to reason with you once he knows. He's gonna talk shit about me to convince you to dump me. I just... want to show you more of the real me before you have to listen to all that crap. So you – so you won't forget who I really am."

There was a vulnerable look in his eyes, one that made her glow on the inside. Was he really telling her that he was afraid to lose her? She turned a little, slipping one arm around his waist and snuggling up to him. "It's impossible to forget how amazing you are, Esai."

He tensed a bit, as if he realized how vulnerable he sounded, making him sit up straight. "Good." He kissed the tip of her auricle, sending a shiver down her spine. "Maybe we can tell him by the end of the month? About... two weeks?"

Jamie hesitated. Doing it right now made more sense to her, but she didn't want to push. If he needed time to prepare himself for a confrontation with Juice, she would give it to him. 

"Okay." She gave him a kiss, smiling. Then she jumped up, pulling on his hands. "Come on, let's make another drawing!"

* * *

"It's a shame nobody can see it," Jamie sighed a few hours later. Esai had drawn an octopus which she had colorized in bright colors. Although the colors were merging now and then, and despite the fact that she had been so enthusiast she had not only sprayed the walls, but also her clothes and even Esai's clothes, she admired the result of their hard work. Her fingers laced with his; she really enjoyed creating something so beautiful together. 

"Hmm... Well it's close to midnight, so we could pick a place where people will see it tomorrow." His eyes glistened mischievously as he looked at her. 

"Isn't that illegal?"

He shrugged his shoulders. "We're just spicing up the city. As long as we don't get caught..." With a smirk, he pulled her close. "Don't you think it sounds exciting?"

It felt like something itchy was creeping through her stomach. She nodded with a blank face. 

He raked a hand through her hair, laid a hand against her cheek and pressed his lips against hers. Like every time he touched her, she forgot the world. Wrapping her arms around him, she kissed him back. 

There was a new tension buzzing through her body, now she was about to do something she shouldn't. It actually gave her a rush. As long as they weren't hurting anybody, it wasn't _that bad_ , right?"

"You already know a place?" she asked him. 

"Close to my parent's house is a church. I don't think a lot of people still go to it, and the few who do are a bunch of douche bags. A while ago a group of men beat the shit out a guy who was gay. He went to the same school as I, was a really nice guy. The minister of that church declared that it was God's will. That's sick, right? Your moms are lesbian, can you imagine a so called man of god instruct people to beat 'em up?"

Jamie thought about all the times people had made fun of her because she had two moms. The idea that someone who was a role model to many people was encouraging such a thing, made her angry. 

"Okay. I guess those people could use a 'make love, not war'-slogan."

"That's perfect," he smirked, kissing her again. "I love your ideas."

Jamie blushed, shyly biting on her lip. Esai laughed softly, letting go of her hand to pick up the spray cans. 

* * *

It was 0:30 AM when they stood in front of the church. On the side, Esai drew the contours of the letters and the peace symbol, so Jamie could colorize them. A few times he gently pushed her towards a tree when someone strolled by, but this side of the building was dark and nobody paid attention to them. 

As time went on, they became less careful. They were laughing while shooting ideas, surrendering to their passion when one backed the other up against the wall for a kiss they could feel in their toes, and simply fooling around when they tried to steal each other's spray can. 

Jamie forgot everything around her. She felt so – different around him. Every smile, every glance... he made her feel like jelly, giving her weak knees while at the same time he was the one keeping her on her feet. 

Therefore, it came as a total surprise when a deep voice behind them told them to lower their spray cans. Quickly they turned around. There was a cop, a flashlight in his hand. 

"Fuck." Despite his swearing, Esai's voice sounded light. Before Jamie completely understood what was going on, Esai grabbed her hand and started to run. 

Anxiously, Jamie looked over her shoulder while she let Esai drag her along. "Won't he shoot at us?"

"Nah, not for some vandalism."

Esai was right; instead of pulling his gun the man yelled something in his walkie and gave chase. Laughing, Esai pulled her around a corner, there wasn't a trace of fear on his face, calming her down a little. 

Suddenly, pain flashed through her ankle – the ankle she had strained a few days ago. Her hand slipped out of Esai's and she fell on the ground. Groaning, she tried to get up, but it hurt too much. 

In fear, she looked up at Esai. His face turned pale, and at the same time someone grabbed her shoulder. Esai froze, his eyes shooting into every direction. For a moment she believed he would run, then he raised his hands in surrender and walked towards them. 

Tears were stinging her eyes as her hands were cuffed. Whether it was because of the pain or the panic, she didn't know. 

"Let me carry her to the police car."

After a brief moment of hesitation, the man nodded. His hand rested on the taser. 

Just like last time, Esai lifted her up and pressed a kiss to her cheek. "Calm down _chiqui._ Everything will be fine, I'll pay the fine."

"Will we be send to jail?" she asked, quietly sobbing. 

"One night in a cell, I guess. At the station. You're gonna be alright, _mi amor._ "

As they reached the police car, Esai lowered her on the ground and helped her into the vehicle. The moment she was seated, he stretched out his hands to the cop, who had been joined by his partner. The man fastened Esai's cuffs and ordered him to sit down at the backseat. 

"Well, we obviously shouldn't become the new Bonnie and Clyde, that's not gonna end well," he chuckled softly, both of his hands on her knee. 

"You've spend the night in a cell before?" she asked in a low voice. He looked so relaxed... She didn't understand. 

"Couple of times," he smirked. "Most times I was drunk." He glanced forward, to the two cops, clearly not impressed by them. "First time I was 14. I pissed against the door of the police station – they didn't like it."

Maybe Jamie would have been able to laugh about it some other time, but not now. She stared at her knees, hoping Esai's record wasn't going to worsen her punishment.

* * *

Annoyance flashed across Daphne's face when his phone went off. It wasn't exactly surprising – she hated being disturbed during sex. 

"If that bitch manages to bother us even when she's not home, then..."

Juice sat up straight, ignoring her threat and grabbing his phone. There was a tight feeling in his chest. It had been there all day – the thought that she was with Esai now, even affected his libido, and not even Daphne could change anything about it. But receiving a phone call in the middle of the night... there had to be a good reason for it. 

He glanced at the screen. Roman was the one calling him, which only increased his unrest. "Hey," he said, pressing the device against his ear. 

"Hey," Roman's voice sounded. "Ehh.... I need a favor."

Juice frowned. "Now?"

"Actually tomorrow morning. Jamie just called... She's been arrested. I wanted to ask you to bail her out. I'll send you the money right now – but before I can get a flight, the day will be over. She can be picked up at 9.30."

"Uh yeah... sure," he answered overwhelmed. "But – she's arrested? Why?"

"Vandalism. She was doing graffiti on private property."

Juice ran a hand across his mohawk. Luckily it wasn't something more serious, but he didn't like the idea that she was in jail because of that asshole. He heaved a deep sigh. "Okay, I'll pick her up tomorrow."

"Thanks Juice. I owe you one."

"Yeah, you're not the only one," Juice muttered, shaking his head. Then he ended the call. 

"What's going on?" Daphne asked. Even before he put away the device she was sitting on his lap again, her fingers curled around his dick. He however was no longer in the mood for sex and subtly moved himself from under her. 

"Jamie's arrested. I gotta bail her out tomorrow."

"Well, that –"

"Not now, Daphne," he snapped. He was sick of her constant whining about Jamie. "I'm going to sleep."

Instead of moping, she quietly turned her head away. He didn't care; instead he was picturing Jamie's sad face while she was sitting in a cell, awaiting her fate. He felt a stab in his stomach.

. . .

At 9.30 Juice entered the police station. Seeing the long line of people made him sigh. Apparently he wasn't the only one picking someone up. Suddenly he froze. At the front of the line, someone was wearing a kutte – and not with the Reaper on it. 

"Fuck," he muttered. It was a Mayan. Juice pulled his hood over his head to hide his tattoos and turned his face away. The man kept waiting next to the desk while an officer disappeared into a hallway. 

As the man turned a little, Juice recognized him. Cursing, he gritted his teeth. It was none other than Marcus Alvarez. Should he leave and come back within an hour? Juice was on his territory – he had no idea how the man would respond. But he would understand he wasn't here for fun, right? 

He however neither liked the idea of walking away. Firstly, because he would attract attention, and secondly – how weak would _that_ look?!

He messed with his phone, his shoulder towards the man. From the corner of his eye Juice however looked to the side the whole time. The Mayan aimed his attention at the corridor behind the desk, and Juice tried to control his breathing. 

The officer returned, Esai Alvarez was strolling next to him. The moment he stood next to his father, the older man started to yell at him in Spanish, grabbing his chin in his fury. 

Now there were two Mayans in the room... Juice's hand glided to the inside pocket of his kutte. Pulling a gun in a police station was the most stupid thing he could do, but the thought that he was armed gave him the illusion of safety. 

Juice held his breath as the two Mayans headed for the exit. They were in a heated discussion, in Spanish, and Juice prayed they would be too busy fighting to notice him. 

His prayers weren't answered. 

Suddenly Esai caught his glance – and he froze. 

For a couple of seconds they stared into each other's eyes. Juice didn't know how to interpret the Mayan's look – he seemed shaken up. 

Then Juice noticed his clothes; they were covered in paint – _graffiti._

"No way," he stammered. All the muscles in his body tensed. "No fucking way."


	20. Guys Like Me

For a moment Esai had the feeling the world stood still when his eyes met Juice's. 

_Fuck._

It looked like Juice's eyes became darker and his jaw tensed. For a moment he thought the guy was going to launch himself upon him, then he turned his face away and stared forward. 

Esai quickly headed to the exit. He didn't want to make a scene, not now. Maybe Jamie managed to talk herself out of this – at least, he knew everything would get worse if they started to fight here. 

He looked to the side. Nothing in his demeanor led him to believe that his father had seen the Son too. An angry frown was still drawn on his forehead. The moment they were outside, his father had another outburst.

"Are you really my son? Getting arrested for putting up _graffiti_?! How old are you, thirteen?"

Esai shrugged his shoulders. "We were just havin' some fun."

"Well that fun of yours costs me an arm and a leg! And still, you _dare_ to resent me for not bailing that _puta_ out!"

"Already told you I'd pay for it."

"With what money?!" his father snapped. "Everything you earn with the club, you gamble!"

Esai shrugged his shoulders once more. "Not all of it. I got enough at my account to get Jamie out. But never mind, already saw Juice in there."

Although Juice was the reason he had started to date Jamie in the first place, the idea that they were sharing an apartment started to bother him more and more. Protectiveness had been written all over his face. His glance rested upon the bike that stood close to his father's. For the first time, the thought that she would sit so close to him during the ride to Charming caused a pit in his stomach. He pushed the feeling away. 

"Was Juice inside?" his father asked, clearly irritated because a Son had dared to enter his town. 

"Yeah. So lets go."

"You can walk home," his father huffed. "And use that time to think about your behavior, son. Jokes like this better not turn into a habit. Just buy her some jewelry, instead of this dumb shit. She's a tool, Esai. Not a toy."

"She's not just a tool. Not to me. And she's neither a toy."

His father raised his eyebrows dismissively. "What is that supposed to mean?"

"I like her. I'm serious about her. I know what I have to do and I will do it, but if she would move to another place it wouldn't change anything between her and me."

His father cursed. "If you fuck this up... This was _your idea,_ Esai. _You_ wanted to use her for this! We gave you our trust, don't you do dare to betray it. You are exempted from other duties for this, so deliver us some fucking results. Enough with the mealy-mouthed talk!"

Esai gritted his teeth, he no longer wanted to talk to his father. Instead he turned his back towards him and started to rush away from the police station. Why was it so hard for his dad to trust him? He knew what he was doing. His feelings for Jamie had nothing to do with it and wouldn't intervene.

He wished he could go to her now, he hadn't even said goodbye to her and right now all he wanted was holding her in his arms. Still he didn't tarry; he quickened his pace, taking his phone from his pocket and typing: 

_Juice knows, he saw me. Sorry for all this shit. I hope your night wasn't too horrible. Despite the ending I really enjoyed yesterday. I wish I could have waited for you. I miss you. <3_

Whether it was sappy or not – right now he didn't care and he pressed the send button. Knowing that she had been so close to him all night, without being able to touch or even see her, frustrated him to the bone. She had been so close – and yet so far away. 

Sighing deeply, he continued to walk. He tried not to think about the possibility that he might have wasted his last night with her. No – whatever Juice would say about him, she wouldn't believe him blindly. 

Right?

* * *

Quietly, Jamie followed the police officer. From the corner of her eye she peeked into the cells. Reluctantly, for she was afraid to see murderers or rapists and she didn't want to attract their attention. But maybe she would see Esai... Or was he the one bailing her out? Yesterday she had been allowed to give her brother a call, but it would take a few hours before he could get here. 

To her surprise it wasn't Esai who was waiting for her, but Juice. The moment she walked through the door, she flew to embrace him, squeezing her eyes when he hugged her back. It felt nice, his arms so tight around her – nicer than she had expected. She shivered lightly when she felt his lips on her crown. Despite the fact that it was Juice who was holding her instead of Esai, there was a warm feeling in her stomach. He was so sweet. He could also have been angry with her because of the arrest. 

"You okay baby?" he asked softly. 

She increased the distance between them and nodded. "Yeah. But the place was filthy and my cellmate was snoring the whole time. And I'm hungry."

"We'll get you something on our way home, okay?" His fingers tangled in her hair and his forehead rested against hers. "I was a little scared when your brother called me in the middle of the night."

She dropped her eyes. "Sorry."

"No I don't blame you." Something about his face changed, as if he was gritting his teeth. "Without that asshole none of this would have happened."

"Juice..." she sighed. "It's not his..."

"I don't want to hear anything about it until we're home." His mood changed all of a sudden. Brusquely he turned around and rushed to the door. 

"My phone..."  
  
"I got it," he snapped. 

In silence Jamie followed her roommate, not understanding where this sudden change of mood had came from. Without saying anything she sat down on his bike. For some reason she didn't dare to hold him as tight as she would usually do. 

* * *

It felt like a ride without an end. Although Juice had told her they would get her breakfast on their way home, he apparently changed his mind for he went back to Charming without taking a stop. When they finally got home, she rubbed the back of her thighs. Her body felt stiff, the bed in the cell hadn't been very comfortable. 

"Are you mad?" she asked quietly as he walked to the door without saying another word. 

"I am."

"But at the police station you told me you didn't blame me," she whispered. 

"I'm not mad because you got arrested. I'm mad because you lied to me."

She felt a stab in her stomach. 

"Who was that guy you introduced to me last Sunday? Not Esai, huh?" Juice turned around before entering the living room. 

Jamie felt her cheeks turn red. "No," she muttered. "That was Kevin. Esai's friend."

"Lemme guess; that was Esai's idea?"

Contritely, she stared at the ground. 

"And you don't think that's weird? That you have to pretend to date someone else?"

"He told me your clubs were in a fight. We wanted to tell you by the end of the month. When we... when we were sure we're serious about this."

Juice heaved a deep sigh, running a hand across his mohawk. "Right." He was silent for a while. "Eat something. Then we gotta talk, Jamie." To her relief, his tone sounded a little lighter now. 

She nodded meekly and walked over to the kitchen to get herself some breakfast. 

* * *

The whole ride home Juice had wondered what the best way was to approach the subject. He could simply become furious, yelling at her that she was stupid and naive and that Esai didn't give a shit about her, but all that he would accomplish was making her cry and she would probably take the first bus back to Oakland. 

And so, he tried to restrain his anger and frustration while figuring out the best way to say to her what needed to be said. He studied her face as she was silently eating her breakfast, her eyes focused on her plate. She looked sad and it took all his willpower not to reach over the table and take her hand in his. 

Knowing Esai could have done so, made his stomach cringe. Yeah, he was jealous. He was fucking jealous, especially now he knew that it was _Esai Alvarez_ who she was in love with. All this time he had been afraid that Jamie would get hurt, but now he was 100 percent sure of it. Esai had been manipulating her from the start and she was too much in love to see it.

When she lost her appetite, she shoved her plate away and looked up to him. He hated the insecure, almost fearful look in her eyes. She was so vulnerable... He knew he had to watch his tongue. 

He got up. "Hey, come here." He spread his arms to invite her for a hug. 

She stood up and held him tightly. He closed his arms around her, breathing in her scent. 

"It's okay. I'm not angry anymore."

_Not with you._

She seemed to relax a bit. He took her hand – enjoying it a little too much knowing Esai wouldn't like it – and pulled her towards the couch. _Fuck Esai._ He didn't let go of her hand once they were sitting next to each other. 

It felt nice, natural. Maybe she felt it too. 

"That night you met him... Did you tell him who I was?" he asked carefully, trying to confirm is assertions one by one. 

"I did," she answered softly. "I was lost. I saw that... biker bar, or clubhouse, and I thought you'd be friends."

Juice smiled a little sadly. Only Jamie was able to draw a conclusion like that. 

"And then you talked for a bit and he brought you home, right? Did he tell you not to tell me?"

"He said you wouldn't like us hanging out. We wanted to tell you, eventually. Actually we talked about it yesterday. I wanted to tell you the truth today, but Esai wanted to wait a little longer. He's afraid you will talk shit about him."

Juice suppressed the urge to roll his eyes. He had been softening her up well. He really had no idea how to explain to her what he was afraid of. 

As if she sensed his struggle, she bent her head. "So go on. Tell me how horrible he is."

"It's not like that, James... I'll be honest: I barely know Esai. But we're both in an MC, so when it comes down to it we don't differ that much and that's why... I see things in a different perspective. Guys like he – guys like _me_ – we usually don't fall head over heels with a strange girl walking into our clubhouse. We got plenty girls to choose from. And yeah – you are special, Jamie. You're nice, hell you're fucking beautiful." He lifted the corner of his mouth when she started blush. "We would try to get you in bed immediately, and if we failed... we would lose our interest. Unless there's something else keeping our attention. Like... your connection to another club." He looked her straight in the eye. When it didn't seem to land, he sighed. "I know you don't want to hear this, but please believe I want what's best for you. I believe that I am the reason he's dating you. It's all about your connection with the Sons. He can use you to get information about us, damn there are hundreds of things he can do. If we ever get into a real gang war he can go straight to my house and kill me in my sleep, he can even kidnap you without you knowing it, he can..."

He sighed, rubbing his face. 

Jamie stared at him with wide eyes. The theories that had been racing through his mind ever since he saw Esai, had left his mouth unintentionally and he already regretted his words. 

"He wouldn't do any of that!"

" _I_ would do that, Jamie!" He raised his voice, he just _had_ to get through to her. "If the club would ask me those things I would have no choice. And it's not any different for him!"

She bent her head, a tear slipped down her cheek. "So you're actually telling me that you're accusing him of things you would do yourself too? You would also use me to hurt Esai if the club asked it from you? You would also kidnap me to get things done by Esai's club?"

"What? No! We're living together because you brother arranged this, because he trusts me! You're my friend, I will always protect you and my brothers will do the same. You belong with _us,_ James. With the Sons. And Esai knows that too, _that's_ the reason he's interested in you!"

She remained silent. Her thumb brushed across a shining ring. The sight of it made Juice feel sick. That the guy was buying her such expensive jewelry only strengthened his beliefs. He was manipulating her, pulling wool over her eyes. 

"Even if you're right... if you're really the reason he gave me his number... Then he might have fallen in love with me later, right? On our first date? I just – I just don't believe he's faking it. He's – he's so sweet."

"Because he's a master player, remember? Shanty already told you. He knows how to wrap girls around his finger."

She looked up to him. Tears were shining in her eyes. "So you think he can impossibly truly like me? That time you told me that I was beautiful, that I was good company... those were just lies? You don't truly believe that guys like you can fall in love with me?"

"No they can. They fucking can." His voice was shaking, suddenly he felt fucking nervous. And precisely because of that nervousness, he blurted out the only thing he hadn't want to tell her. "I know that because I fell in love with you." He turned his face away, feeling his cheeks glow and murmured: "I think I fell in love with you, James."

* * *

**_Dun dun dun... How will she react... ;)_ **

**_Also, I started a new Juice-story with a minor role for Esai too... I really hope you want to check it out, it's called 'Rivals'. It's a guy x guy story about Juice falling for a Mayan. It's focusing on the Oakland chapter but I think some guys from Santo Padre might show up as well. (:_ **


	21. Be Mine

At first, Jamie could only stare at him. 

"You're in love?" she repeated eventually. "With – with me? But – but what about Daphne?"

He shrugged his shoulders. "I like to... do certain things with her. But you... you make me feel things I've never felt before, James."

Jamie became aware of the hand that he was still holding, pulling it away. "But – but I'm in love with Esai. I – I don't have such feelings for you."

He bent his head. 

Jamie felt horrible. Hesitating, she laid a hand on his knee. "I'm sorry Juice," she said softly. "You're an awesome guy, and you're incredibly sweet. But you're just a friend. Please don't be mad."

Juice looked up, holding her glance. Then he leaned back, shaking his head. "You see how naive you are James? I tell you I'm in love with you and you believe me right away."

"Was it – was it a joke?" she asked, feeling offended. "I thought that I was hurting you!"

"I'm just trying to make a point here, Jamie. I know you don't like to hear it, but you're easy to manipulate. You know me very well, and yet you believed I had feelings for you. Suppose Esai is playing you from the beginning, how would you know unless someone's pointing it out?"

Jamie bit her lip, dropping her eyes. Was he right? Wringing her hands, she thought about last week. He hadn't given her a single reason to doubt him. Yesterday he'd let himself getting arrested because of her. And for what could he actually use her? It all sounded so far-fetched!

"I really like him Juice," she said softly. 

"I know sweetheart. But that's why it's better to end it now. The longer you wait, the more it will hurt."

"But what if he does like me?" she asked. "What if his feelings are true? I can't break up with him just because my roommate questions his feelings?"

Juice raised his eyebrows. "Break up with him? Didn't know you two were that serious..."

Jamie's cheeks flushed. "You know what I mean... Maybe uh, maybe you can talk to him some day. Maybe – maybe you'll believe him. If you're people skills are so great."

He snorted. "I can think of only one outcome, and that is one with a lot of bruises."

"Come on, you're childish now."

He stared at her in disbelief. "I'm deadly serious, Jamie."

"That's even worse! It's crazy that two people I care about can't even be in the same room! Why would you want to hurt him –what's the point of it?!"

"He's _using_ you, Jamie," he hissed. "Fuck – that's reason enough to beat the shit outta him! But if you're so stubborn: fine, you ahead, but I warned you! Just don't think for a minute that that asshole's ever setting a foot inside this apartment!"

"This is my home too!" she objected. 

"Well, not much longer if you're not careful," he barked. He jumped up, rushed out of the room and slammed the front door shut.

A shock went through her body. Sighing, she raked her fingers through her hair. Tears were stinging in her eyes – the lack of sleep over the past few days started to take its toll. 

She couldn't take much more. What should she do now?

* * *

To avoid his father, Esai had gone to his parent's house, knowing his dad was in the clubhouse. His father might not like his decision, but he really wasn't in the mood to face him now. Not after what he'd said about Jamie. 

He was sitting on a rug in the living room, shaking a rattle in his hand to encourage Tessa to come closer. His baby sister rolled on her stomach and slowly crawled towards him. The moment she was within arm's reach, he pulled her on his lap. 

"You're growin' so fast, little one. Just a lil longer and you'll be runnin' around the place huh," he cooed, laying a kiss on her chubby cheek. She shouted with joy while grabbing his necklace. 

In a flash, he imagined she was his own daughter. That he and Jamie... He felt like he was on fire as he caught him in his own fantasy. Where the hell was that coming from? He knew that girl for _one week._ Around none of his exes he'd thought about _having kids..._

But the image of Jamie holding a baby in her arms... it made his breathing speed up. He couldn't help it, it was just the cutest thing he'd ever thought of. 

His phone dragged him out of his daydream. He shifted Tessa on his lap so he could take the device from his pocket. Automatically, his lips bent into a smile as he saw Jamie's name – until he remembered that Juice knew who he was, realizing she'd never called him before.

"Hey love," he said. "You okay?"

It was silent for a while. Her voice sounded fragile when she answered: "I don't know."

He sat up straight. "What happened?"

"Juice stormed away in anger. He – he doesn't believe that you really like me. He says – he says you're using me."

He clenched his jaw, trying to swallow a rude curse. Of course he thought so. It made him mad – not because of his suspicions, but because he had said it so bluntly to her. That girl didn't need to become more insecure...

"You know it's not true, right?" There was a slight vibration in his voice. He didn't want Juice to fuck things up for him, for _them._

"I know," she said quietly. "But I – I just needed to hear your voice."

"You want me to come over?"

"I don't know if... if Juice... I don't think he's okay with that."

"We have to go through it one day." He clutched his phone between his shoulder and ear as Tessa started to yank at his necklace, making dissatisfied noises now she was no longer receiving his attention. Carefully, he laid her down on the rug. 

"But he's pretty pissed now. Maybe it's better to wait?"

Esai chewed his lip. What was smart? He was afraid that Juice was going to sow more seeds of doubt. Maybe he could show him how much he cared about Jamie. 

"I wanna talk to him."

"W-what?"

Esai took a deep breath. He wasn't used to express his feelings, but somehow it was easier around Jamie. "Every time you're not with me, being with you is all I can think about. Knowing when I will see you again... it gives me peace, gives my life purpose or something, I dunno. I just don't want anyone to ruin this. Not my dad, not your roommate. Jamie I... I don't want to date anymore." He sighed softly, his fingers were tingling. "I want a relationship with you. I wanna be your boyfriend, I want to call you my girl, my old lady. And I – I have no problem telling it to Juice. That is, if you want this too."

She was quiet for a while. "He told me that you two would fight. And that he will never allow you inside our house."

"He's bluffin'. That would mean that he wants you to come to me and I'm sure there's nothing he wants more than keeping you away from my club."

"You think?"

"Yeah." He paused. "You want me to come or not?"

"I don't know." There was a stab of disappointment in his stomach. Was she giving up on them? "I'm afraid of what you will do to each other."

"As long as you're with us, we will be fine. I'm sure of it. Be honest with me baby. You want me to be with you tonight?"

"Yes," she answered softly. 

Those three letters meant more to him than he would ever dare to admit to anyone. 

"I'm on my way. I got this, _chiqui_. Don't worry, okay? I can handle Juice. Verbally," he stressed. 

When it came down to it, Juice hadn't much to say about it anyway. He couldn't forbid their relationship. Therefore it wasn't Juice who he wanted to convince, but Jamie. 

Maybe it was much sooner than he had intended, but if it gave her a little more certainty, he wanted her to be his old lady. He wanted her to be his. No matter what Juice would think of it. 


	22. Confrontation

There wasn't much left of Jamie's fingernails by the time the doorbell rang. Juice still hadn't returned, although she wasn't sure whether it bothered her or not. She had imagined how he would respond if he entered the house and found Esai on the couch, but she didn't think it would differ much from his response when Esai showed up at the door. 

Either way, it was a bad idea. 

But Esai was right – they had to go through it. The sooner, the better. Somehow she however felt guilty for inviting Esai over while she knew Juice didn't want him around; at the same time she found their whole hostility exaggerated and she was mainly blaming Juice for it. 

She swung the door open. Immediately the smile returned to her lips; the moment she saw him, she was lost in those beautiful blue eyes. Only seconds later, she saw the roses he was holding in his hand. She blushed. 

"There's my girl," he said with a crooked smile. His free arm glided around her waist and he pulled her close, kissing her lips. 

Jamie felt her knees go weak now he stood so close to her his perfume was surrounding her. He smelled so good... And he tasted just as good, she realized when her tongue stroked his. It felt like there were small heat sources scattered across her body. Without moving her lips away from him, she stepped back. His feet bumped against her shoes, making him chuckle as he entered the house. 

"I'm surprised Juice isn't standing next to the door with a bat in his hands," he whispered.

Although the situation was anything but funny, his comment made her giggle. She just loved having him around; she felt better immediately. 

"He hasn't returned yet."

He dipped his head, kissing the side of her neck. His breathing tickled her skin, causing goosebumps all over her body. "Well, we should take advantage of his absence," he muttered.

Jamie was like languid clay in his hands; it didn't even occur to her that his might not be the best timing. She sighed with desire as his hand glided down her side, curving around her hip before it moved up again, cupping her breast. His lips gently sucked her skin. That he was leaving a mark on her, didn't cross her mind. Her hands roamed across his shirt through which she could feel his hard chest. He squeezed her breast, and when a moan was burning on her lips he took it away with his lips. He trailed kisses to her ear and whispered: "I can't wait to be alone with you tonight."

Her whole body was tingling. Every whisper, every touch of his lips, of his fingers, even of his _breathing_ made her feel light in the head. She was afraid she would faint any moment. Oh, if Juice could only feel what she felt now, then he would know this wasn't some game; it felt like Esai's love for her was dripping from his skin. 

As if he sensed she couldn't take much more, he pulled back a little, stroking her cheek. 

"I'm glad I bought you roses, otherwise I might have stripped you down right here," he said with a smirk making all the butterflies in her stomach swirl around. Lifting his hand, he handed her the flowers.

Jamie had the feeling her face shared colors with the flowers. "Umm, thank you. That's... that's sweet."

Quickly she walked over to the kitchen, filling the sink with water and sticking the bouquet in it. Her thumb caressed the soft petals. Nobody had ever given her flowers. She turned around. Esai was strolling through the living room, his hands in his pockets. 

"Damn, I've never seen such a clean house. I barely dare to touch anything." Nevertheless, he picked up a picture frame. 

"That's Juice's doing. He's very tidy." Jamie walk towards him, wrapping her arms around him from behind. Standing on her toes, she could look over his shoulder. It was a picture of Roman and her standing in front of the pyramids of Gizeh. 

"Your brother looks cool. Can't wait to meet him."

She tightened her grasp around him. It hadn't been Juice's intention, but somehow their relationship felt much more serious now. "He likes to meet you too."

"You already told him about me?" He looked over his shoulder.

She nodded. "Juice called him in panic, that Sunday night. And when I called yesterday because we were arrested I also told him I was with you."  
  
He put back the photo frame. "Well I'm makin' a hell of a first impression. A so-called kidnapping _and_ an arrest in one week. Soon I will not only have to deal with an angry roommate, but also with an angry brother." He pressed a kiss on the tip of her nose. "But the hero never gets the princess without slaying a dragon."

* * *

"Are you fucking kidding me Juice?!" Daphne snapped when he was about to open the door. "You really came here for a blowjob alone?!"

He shrugged his shoulders. "I needed to blow off steam. Don't make such a big deal of it. You love my dick in your mouth."

She shouldn't complain and be happy that he had came to her instead of some croweater. He'd done that for her. Right now, he didn't care what bitch sucked his dick. 

"I'm not a whore! I have no problem with distracting you with sex, but I feel cheap now! Why do you have to leave?" She squinted her eyes. "You afraid that Jamie will burn down the house if she's alone for one hour? Damn it Juice, hire a babysitter!"

Juice didn't even answer; with a bang he slammed the door. 

Fuck it – he could use another blowjob right now; he barely felt better than before it. He just couldn't stand the thought that Jamie didn't want him while she _did_ want Esai. Stupid as he was, he had hoped that Jamie would get some revelation when he told her he was in love with her, concluding that Esai wasn't the cause of her butterflies but he. It had been a real slap in the face when she told him that she didn't feel the same about him. Thank god he had been able to talk himself out of it, he didn't want things to become awkward between them. 

During the ride home he tried to recompose himself. He didn't want to fight with her. Sooner or later she would see Esai's true nature and then he would be the shoulder she cried on. It probably wouldn't take that long anyway. 

His calmness was hard to find once he parked his bike next to another bike. Some rude curses slipped his lips and he clenched his fists. Had that guy seriously been so bold to come to his house _right now_? Who the hell did that asshole think he was?!

Violently he slammed the key into the hole, ignoring the voice in his head whispering to him that it might be better to take a walk first. He slammed the door shut, showing them he was coming. The last thing he wanted, was catching the two in some hot kiss. 

In the doorway, he froze. They were sitting on the couch; Esai's hand resting on her thigh – way too close to her crotch. For a moment Esai's blue eyes met his. The look in them was just as mocking as that of his friend had been. As if Juice wasn't even around, he leaned into Jamie and whispered something in her ear, making her blush. 

Juice felt sick. "Get out of my house!" he snapped. 

"Nice to see you too, Juice." Esai leaned back in the couch, wrapping an arm around Jamie. "I thought we should have a talk. There has to be a way I can visit my girlfriend at home, right?"

"Your _girlfriend_?!" he barked. 

Only now, Jamie looked up, again with that cursed blush on her cheeks. Despite the insecurities in them, her eyes were shining. The look in them was almost pleading, as if she desperately wanted to share her joy with him. 

"Yeah... I asked her to become my old lady." His thumb stroked up and down Jamie's shoulder and the tender gesture filled him with a cold hatred. "Which she wants."

"You know her for one week!!"

"Believe me, that's long enough to see what an amazing girl she is."

His fingers clenched into fists. "Fine," he grunted. "Let's talk. Go to your room, Jamie."

He wanted to say things as they were and it would be easier to pry the truth from Esai when Jamie wasn't around. 

"But..." Jamie objected. "You... You can't..."

"We will be fine, sweetie. I won't hurt him, and he won't hurt me," Esai assured her.

Juice snorted. _That's for me to decide._

However, for Jamie it was reason enough to leave the room. Juice closed the door to the hallway and walked over to the Mayan. He was slumped down on the couch, his feet on the coffee table, acting like _he_ was the one living her. A mocking smirk crossed his lips, calling up the anger inside Juice. Before he knew it, he grabbed the man's collar, dragged him on his feet and smashed a fist against his jaw. 

Esai was so overwhelmed he fell down on the couch. His eyes were shooting fire, but he didn't jump up. All he did, was rubbing his jaw. "Happy now?" he grunted. 

"Not even close. Leave her alone."

Esai scoffed. "We both know I won't leave her alone. She's fucking hot, she's funny, she's sweet... I'd be crazy if I let her go."

"She deserves better than you."

There it was again, that bold smirk making his heart cramp. "Yeah? You mean she deserves you?"

"She deserves someone who likes her for who she is, and not because she's livin' with me."

Esai rolled his eyes. "You're the only downside of a relationship with her, idiot. You think I'm happy with a nosy roommate like you who's talking shit about me all day long?"

"Oh give me a break! I know damn well why you took her home that night!"

Esai got up and went to stand right in front of him. His blue eyes drilling in Juice's. "The reason of our first talk doesn't matter. She's my girlfriend now and I will never put her in danger. That's all you need to know, _big brother._ "

Juice gritted his teeth. 

Esai lifted the corner of his mouth. "Oh, you don't like to be called her big brother? You wish you were something else to her? You're havin' a little crush on her yourself, huh?" He chuckled. "You tried to win her heart? By cooking for her, bybraiding her fucking hair?!"

Juice couldn't help it, his cheeks flushed. 

His embarrassment only widened Esai's grin. "It gotta hurt, right? That's she's choosing a Mayan over you?"

It felt like the man was purposefully pushing his finger in a painful, throbbing wound. Jealousy chilled his blood and before he knew it, he lashed out to Esai again. This time the man saw it coming, he bent back and pushed him away. He was still smirking. 

"She doesn't know, huh? That you're jackin' off while picturing her naked body?" Suddenly Esai jumped forward and pushed him forcefully against the wall. His fingers clutched around Juice's throat. "She's mine now. _I_ am the one whose gonna take off her clothes tonight, who's going to suck her nipples, who's going to claim that tight pussy soon. So fuck off with your fantasies; save them for your own girl instead of mine!"

Juice was shaking in anger, in powerlessness, in jealousy. He yanked Esai's hands away from his throat, giving him a knee. "Don't talk about her like that!" he yelled. "She's no whore!"

Esai stepped back, pain flashing across his face. "Oh, I know all too wel that she ain't a whore. That I'm her first. The first one she kissed. The first one touching her tits. The first one who's going to fuck her. I'll be her first _in everything._ "

Juice gritted his teeth. He wanted to lash out again, but finally his brain got the better of him. Once he really beat up Esai, he would scare Jamie away. 

"You might be her first," he answered in a cold voice. "But you won't be her last. Sooner or later you will fuck up and I will be the one comforting her. All I have to do is wait. I'm sure as hell that you're gonna blow your chance with her."

Something flashed in Esai's eyes, his shoulders seemed to cramp. _He knows it too. He knows he's gonna fuck things up with her._

Threatening, Juice leaned into the guy. "If you hurt her, I'm going to break all your bones." He walked past the man, bumping his shoulder against Esai's. "Don't show up unannounced again, so I won't have to see that ugly face again." He turned around. "That's the only way this is gonna work."

Then, he walked to Jamie's room. She was sitting on the edge of the bed. Her face was pale, there were earplugs in her ears as if she'd wanted to escape from their yelling. She pulled away the strings and got up. Insecure, she looked at him, her arms crossed in front of her chest. 

"It's okay," he said softly. He stepped forward and pulled her in his arms. For a moment he closed his eyes, breathing in her scent. Fuck – how badly he wanted her for himself. He felt how his whole body was longing for her. "I still don't trust him," he admitted. "But it's your choice, it's your relationship. Please be careful James. Don't give him too much of yourself too soon."

She didn't let go of him, but looked up to him and nodded. 

His fingers raked through her beautiful hair, his thumb slightly brushing the edge of her ear. "I'm leaving. I can't be in the same room with him, so from now on you gotta tell me when he's coming over, then I'll make sure I'm not there."

He swallowed a sigh as disappointment filled her eyes. But what was she thinking? That they were going to double date? 

"James... This is the only way I can deal with this, okay? I don't trust him, it's that simple. I don't trust him with you, nor with myself. I can't do anything about the first, but I can do something about the last. It sounds harsh, but I don't want to sleep with a gun under my pillow because there's a Mayan sleeping in the same house. And I want your brother to meet him. Your judgment is clouded because you're in love, mine because I hate him. But your brother... He's neutral ground. And if he also tells you something is not right with him... then please listen to us James."

He dipped his head, kissing her forehead. Then he walked away, hoping his last words would echo through the room for a long time; long enough to make her feel uncomfortable around the guy. 


	23. Sweet Revenge

Jamie wasn't used to arguing people. Her mothers had never raised their voices at each other, and they had neither yelled at Roman and her, nor did she remember a fight between her brother and her. Therefore, it made her sad that the two people who meant most to her since she'd moved to this place couldn't be in the same room. Why couldn't they talk things out and ignore their motorclubs? It was just a hobby, she didn't understand why on earth Juice needed to sleep with a gun underneath his pillow when Esai was near. 

Pondering, she headed to the living room. When she realized Esai was not there, she raised her eyebrows. Had he left?

"Esai?" she asked, feeling insecure. 

"I'm here." Footsteps sounded, a moment later he appeared in the doorway to the kitchen, pressing a moist dishcloth against his eye. 

"Shit..." she stammered, hurrying towards him. Carefully she took his wrist and pulled it away so she could look at his eye. Around his eye, his skin was red and swollen. "What happened? Did Juice do this?"

Of course Juice had done it, but she needed a minute to let the news sink. The boys had told her they wouldn't lie a finger on each other. 

"I'm fine," he answered. "I just need ice for the swelling."

With a sigh, her arms glided around his upper body as she leaned into him. "This couldn't have gone worse," she muttered. 

Esai chuckled. "Believe me _chiqui,_ one of us could have ended up in the hospital as well. I'm okay baby. I've been hit before. And I have a beautiful girlfriend who's worth any fight."

A yelp escaped her lips as he suddenly lifted her. She wrapped her arms around his neck and her legs around his waist as he carried her out of the kitchen. 

"Can I have my revenge?"

His eyes were shining, the mischievous boldness in them making her cheeks flush. "What do you want to do?"

"You give me permission or not?"

"Depends... if you don't break anything..."

"No, he'll never find out. But it would give me an amazing feeling."

"Okay." She giggled nervously when he kissed her. 

Esai carried her to the hallway. Instead of heading to the last room, he opened the door to their left. 

"This is Juice's room!" she alerted him. 

"Uh-uh." His wide grin made her tingle from top to toe. He laid her down on the bed of her roommate, bent over her and started to kiss her neck. 

"Esai!" she chuckled. "Stop! If Juice finds out..."

"He won't. This will be our little secret." He had placed his knees on both sides of her hips, his waist resting upon hers. Leaning over at her, he dropped random kisses on her face. "I didn't fight back. I deserve a little bit of revenge, right?"

When she wanted to answer, his tongue glided into her mouth, caressing hers. She sighed softly in pleasure – it felt like every kiss with him tasted better than the former one. 

"You're so delicious," he whispered after the kiss, as if he had drawn the same conclusion. "There has never been a girl who controlled my mind like you do, Jamie. Every minute I'm without you just feels... wasted." He kissed her neck and moved his hands underneath her shirt. She held her breath when his fingers crawled up until he reached her bra. 

He chuckled when she arched her back reflexively so he could unhook her bra, softly nipping at her earlobe. "You wanna feel my hands there? Or my lips, my tongue?"

"All of those," she whispered, a little hoarse. 

"That's what I like to hear baby."

She sat up straight, pulling her shirt over her head. Esai did the same, then his hands glided around her to loosen her bra. After pulling the straps down her arms, he took her face in his hands, his thumbs stroking her cheeks. The look in his eyes was warm, making her blush. 

"You're so fucking beautiful." He kissed her gently, tenderly, drawing her attention to every little movement of his tongue. His hand cupped her breast, squeezing it while his thumb played with her nipple. Excitement buzzed through veins when his lips left hers, following a path across her neck, collarbone and further down. Hungrily, her hands slipped across his smooth chest. 

The moment she felt his lips around her nipple, she gasped. Gently Esai pushed her down on the bed, then he started to kiss her whole upper body. Every movement of his lips and tongue felt as a completely new experience; she had closed her eyes, her breathing shallow. The stubble on his chin slightly scraping across her skin as he reached her waist. As he claimed every piece of skin between her bellybutton and waistband with his lips, his hand glided across her knee and further upwards. Across her thigh, her groin until it settled above the heat between her legs. 

Tension built inside her stomach, which intensified when he started to suck her nipple again. At the same time, his fingers slowly stroked her, causing her breath to leave her lips in little jolts. Reflexively, she tilted her pelvis. He sucked harder, until a sweet pain flashed through her nipple. While a moan rolled over her lips, he moved his mouth to her other breast. She was so consumed by what he was doing to her upper body that it took a while before she realized that he had unbuttoned her pants. Now, his fingers glided across her panties. 

She tensed, and immediately he pulled back his hand and searched for her eyes. 

"You don't like it?" he asked quietly. 

She blushed at the sight of the concern in his eyes. "What are you going to do?" she whispered a little awkwardly. 

He raked his fingers through her hair, kissing the tip of her nose. "What do you want me to do?"

"I – I don't know," she stammered. 

He pressed kisses against her eyebrow before he looked her in the eye again. "You ever played with yourself?"

"W-what? No..."

A smirk crossed his lips. Very lightly, his fingertips caressed her neck. "You want me to play with you?"

Jamie's throat felt dry. All touches had felt so good... But was she ready for the next stage? She thought about Juice's warning; that she shouldn't give him too much yet. 

"You mean with your fingers?" she asked, blushing. 

"Whatever you like baby. I can love you there with my lips and tongue too."

The thought alone was enough to make her cramp up. "I – I don't think I'm ready for that."

"That's okay, I don't mind." He lowered his hand and drew circles across her stomach. "Can I love with you with my fingers?"

She looked up into his blue eyes and saw the silent promises in them. 

"Will it hurt?" she asked quietly. 

"No. You'll love it so much you can't lie still anymore."

Jamie felt so hot she was afraid she was going to sweat. A little breathlessly she nodded. "O-okay."

His lips returned to hers and while he kissed her, his hand glided inside her pants again. Carefully, his fingertips touched her panties. Tense, she held her breath. 

"Relax _chiqui,_ " he chuckled softly. 

She raised her hand and caressed his cheek, followed the line of his jaw, felt the little hairs prickling her skin. She noticed other things – his scent, but also Juice's scent since her head was resting on his pillow. Somehow, it made her feel more relaxed. 

Esai started to kiss her again, this time more fiercely. His hand slipped inside her panties this time. Her breathing faltered when he started to stroke her. 

His lips wandered off to her ear. "You like this?" he whispered. 

"Y-yes," she whispered back. Every time he retreated his fingers, she wanted to feel his touch again. A fierce heat flared up in her belly. 

"Moan, my love, moan my name," he encouraged her. "Make sure my name never leaves this room."

The heat reached its top, she felt how she was starting to sweat. She opened her eyes again, craving for the beautiful blue. She tried to kiss him, but instead she pushed the back of her head deeper in Juice's pillow, her fingers curling around the duvet. Heated circles were leaving her core, filling all of her. 

"Ooooh," she moaned when a wave of pure ecstasy rolled over her. "Oooh Esai! Oh this feels so... soo..." 

She curved her back, her legs were trembling. Her sight became blurry, but somehow she could still his eyes. 

"Fuck Jamie," Esai groaned. "Watching you while you cum is the hottest thing I've ever seen."

Jamie was panting and pressed her knees together because his touch was way too sensitive right now. He pulled his hand away, laid down on his side next to her and pulled her in his arms. Right through his pants she could feel his rock hard erection against her stomach. 

"And?" he whispered. "How was your very first orgasm?" A devilish grin crossed his face. "In your roommate's bed."

Jamie snuggled up to him, suddenly feeling cold. She kissed his chest. "Hmm... I think it was worth repeating."

He laughed softly while kissing her. 

"And? Did this revenge make up for the shiner?"

His hand glided across her breast and kneaded it. His smirk was cheeky, although she wasn't sure why. "Oh you have no idea baby. You have no idea how amazing this feels."


	24. One of Us

Juice wished he could slam one drink after the other to forget about Esai's words. They kept circling around him, causing a stinging pain in his stomach. 

_'She's mine now. I am the one whose gonna take off her clothes tonight, who's going to suck her nipples, who's going to claim that tight pussy soon.'_

He wished she had heard how rude her 'boyfriend' talked about her; as if she was nothing but an object of lust. But he couldn't tell her, and she probably wouldn't believe him anyway. 

For that same reason he couldn't get wasted either; he had no doubt that he would go to his house, hurting Esai in a way Jamie would never forgive him. What he _could_ do, was telling Roman about his doubts about Esai. Maybe she _would_ listen to him. He however didn't want to call the man to talk about his rival; he wanted to speak privately to Jamie's brother anyway. The thing with the tattoo was also still bothering him. He might not be her brother or her boyfriend, but he did feel responsible for her and he just didn't want her to get hurt, whether the danger was coming from Esai or from a completely different angle. 

The couch sank down. As he looked up, he noticed it was Chibs who sat down next to him. "Tell me lad. Why are ye lookin' like the worlds endin' tonite?"

"Because I'm just expelled from my own house," he grunted. 

His brother raised an eyebrow. "The lass sent ye away?" His voice told him he found that hard to believe.

"I left myself to make sure I wouldn't strangle her new boyfriend."

A meaningful smirk crossed the Scot's face. "Our Juicy really fell a little in love with his crazy roommate, huh?"

"It's a Mayan Chibs. She's in love with a fucking Mayan."

Chibs' face became serious. "What?"

"She's with Esai Alvarez. Marcus Alvarez' son."

"What the hell is he thinking?!" Chibs was about to get up, but Juice grabbed his arm. 

"I already told her he's only interested in the club. She doesn't believe me. And when I kick Esai out of my house, she will only be drawn closer to the Mayans." He rubbed his face. "I really like her – I care a lot about her." He was silent. Whether it were his emotions or the alcohol; he added quietly: "I even think I love her. And I don't want that bunch of assholes to ruin her life. I'm the only reason Esai is interested in her. And I hate the fact that..." Bending his head, he kept silent. 

Yeah, he _hated_ the fact Jamie had fallen in love with Esai instead of him. 

"He will hurt her," he said softly. 

Chibs squeezed his shoulder. "The lass ain't made of glass. Sooner o' later she's gonna discover the truth. Until then you just gotta keep 'er close. Close to yerself, to the club. Bring 'er to parties; the more time the lass spends with us, the more it will frustrate the Mayan. Give her the feelin' she's one of us."

Juice sighed softly. But how... 

* * *

Juice returned home next morning, when Jamie texted him that Esai was gone. For the first time since he was with Daphne, he had spent the night in the clubhouse alone. He still wasn't sure what to do with her; in his head there was simply no room to think about it. He didn't love her – he was sure of it now. But the sex was amazing and especially now Jamie and Esai were a thing, he liked to have a relationship himself. Would Jamie become jealous, when Daphne spent a lot of time with them while Esai had no time for her? Or would Daphne see the reason why he invited her over and start a fuss? 

Once he was home, he first went to his bedroom to change clothes; his shirt smelled like smoke. He scrunched his nose; he had a feeling he could smell that asshole's perfume even _here_. Although it was probably all in his head, he opened a window to air his room. Before he left the room, he forced his lips into a smile. 

He flopped down next to Jamie on the couch. "How was yesterday?" he asked her. He didn't plan to eschew Esai's name for the rest of his life; he just wanted to act normal. This was something between Esai and him – he didn't want to bother Jamie. 

Nevertheless his hands cramped when her cheeks started to flush, a dreamy smile curling around her lips. "It was a really nice evening."

He told himself Jamie would even have blushed when they had done a match of chess. It didn't have to mean anything. "Yeah? What did you two do?"

The past weeks they had been able to talk about every possible subject and although he might not like to hear it, he wanted that openness to last. 

She bent her head and fidgeted with her nails, which she had painted in a soft pink. "We just kissed and stuff like that. And we talked." Suddenly she snapped up her head. "You hit him! His eye was all bruised!"

He shrugged his shoulders. "He deserved it."

"You promised you wouldn't touch each other!"

"That were his words, not mine. And he's not as innocent as you think, he squeezed my fucking throat. But he didn't tell you that, huh? Like there are so many things he isn't telling you!"

A tense silence fell. Sighing, Juice ran a hand across his mohawk. He hadn't wanted to say those things...

"I mean you no harm, James," he said when she bent her head. After a short hesitation he laid a hand on her knee. "I'm just worried. I can't help it." He paused, then he added: "I think I'm just afraid things will changed between us. You... you are very special to me, James."

Suddenly nervous he bit the inside of his cheek. He realized that wasn't the only thing he was afraid of. He also feared that Esai would change _her._ She was such a sweet girl and her innocence did her credit. It could be changed with a snap of the finger, and having a relationship with Marcus Alvarez' spawn... it could never have a positive influence. 

Jamie's hand glided into his. Despite the fact that it was her, the gesture was so unexpected he held his breath. She rested her head against his shoulder. 

"Nothing will change between us, roomie. You're still my best friend."

He suppressed a sigh. He could hear Esai's laughter in the background because he had just been friendzoned. Again. 

"You wanna hang out today?" he asked her. "Do something fun? 

She sat up straight, stared at the wall as if the white was inspiring her and then she turned enthusiastically to him. "We could go mini golf!"

Juice blinked his eyes. 

Mini golf. 

That was something only little kids and old people did. Her blue eyes however were full of expectation and the last thing he wanted to see in them, was disappointment. "Okay, let's go!"

Jamie jumped off the couch. "We go there by bike or car?"

That was no question to Juice. Nothing gave him a better feeling than when she was sitting behind him, her arms wrapped around him. "We'll take the bike."

She danced around. "Yes!"

He smirked, grabbed her hand and pulled her outside, knowing she wouldn't guess his intentions while it improved his mood instantly. 

* * *

Juice was already sitting on his bike when he realized he had not the slightest idea where to mini golf. He pulled his phone out of his pocket, opened Google Maps and searched for a place for which a little ride was required. Once he knew the destination, he tucked away the device and took off. 

They had left Charming around ten minutes ago when Jamie suddenly started to tug at his kutte, yelling something. He turned his face to the side to hear her better. "What?!" he yelled, slowing down a little to make less noise. 

"There was something along the road! I think it was a dog, a living one!"

Juice looked over his shoulder to see if the road was clear. Way ahead of them was a car; apart from that there was no traffic. He swung his wheel over and rode back, way slower. 

"There!" She tugged at his kutte again, pointing to the side. 

He turned his head to the side. A little away from the road was a tree where a dog was tied to. Juice looked around; nowhere was a building to be seen. Had someone abandoned the animal? He crossed the road and rolled his bike into the shoulder. Jamie slid off the Harley immediately and ran towards the animal, Juice made sure his bike was steady before he followed her. She was already on her knees in front of the dog, petting his head. It was a pitbull; it was squeaking softly and stared at them with a pleading look in its eyes. 

Jamie made soothing sounds while she petted the dog. As she looked to him, her eyes were full of tears. 

"Who does something like this, Juice?" she asked. He was startled by how upset she was. "What horrible person leaves a dog on the side of the road!"

Juice stroked her back to calm her down, then he examined the dog to see if there were injuries. He didn't know a lot about dogs, but this one was female and her belly was big. Was she sick? Maybe she had a tumor; her owner might lack the money to treat her. Or was she pregnant? 

Jamie wiped her eyes. "We have to take her to a veterinarian. Right Juice? We can't leave her here, right? Maybe we can care for her. Would you like that, poor thing?" Her hand stroked the flank of the pitbull. "We are very kind. We will take good care of you."

Juice hesitated. One couldn't simply get a dog. He wasn't much at home and Jamie had long work days too. But leaving her here... that was neither an option. "I'm going to get my car, then we'll take her to a veterinarian. You stay here?"

She nodded, her eyes still aimed at the animal. 

Seeing how she was so concerned about the animal, warmed his heart. He tucked a tuft of hair behind her ear and kissed her temple. "We will find a good home for her."

* * *

Jamie was holding his left hand tightly when they were sitting in the waiting room twenty minutes later. His other arm, he had wrapped around her shoulders. 

"What if she's very sick Juice?" she asked quietly. Another tear rolled down her cheek. "She doesn't want to die, I saw it in her eyes."

"Let's just await the doctor's judgment." With his thumb he brushed the back of her hand. Her head was leaning against his shoulder; every once in a while he dipped his head and pressed a soothing kiss in her hair. 

They kept sitting close to each other until the door to the treatment room opened. The vet came out. "She is malnourished and she has a broken rib, but other than that she's healthy." Her eyes rested in Juice's. "But she is pregnant."

"Really?!" Jamie exclaimed, covering her mouth with her hand. "So she's getting puppies! I want to keep her Juice!"

Juice hesitated. Neither of them had time for puppies. "I don't know how..."

"I can end my internship to take care of them! I don't want them to go to a pound, Juice! They are a family, they should stick together!"

Juice sighed softly. "You can't quit your internship, sweetie." He thought about it for a moment. Maybe... "Let's take 'em to the clubhouse. There are always people around there. And when they're grown up, they can be our guard dogs." He raked his fingers through her soft hair. "What do you think? You can visit them as much as you want and they will never be alone."

"Yes, that would be so amazing! And they will have a lot of room to play! And sometimes they can have a sleep over at our place, right?"

His arm glided around her waist, his hand settling on her hip. _At our place..._ Oh, how badly would he want to give another definition to those words... Especially now they were standing here, his arm around her while talking about pets... It felt like she _was_ his girlfriend, everything felt so natural. The only thing missing, were Jamie's feelings... He shook off the stinging jealousy; there was no room for that now. 

"We will take her to the clubhouse," he said. 

Sure – he wanted the dog to have a good home. But that wasn't the only reason. He also realized the animals might tie her to the club. A step closer to the Sons, meant a step away from the Mayans. From Esai. 

Now, she might become one of them, as Chibs had told him. 

And in the end, she might become his. His alone. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A big thank you to redhouseclan for the idea with the dog! :)


	25. Threat

He was 26 – and still he felt like a teenager who didn't know how to tell his parents about his new girlfriend. His father would obviously see it coming and he was sure his mother would like Jamie. Still, he didn't know how to bring up the subject. In the end he decided to pick a moment when his father wasn't home, so he wouldn't have to see his disapproving face. 

He had sent his mom a text that he would be home for dinner tonight, knowing his father had a meeting. Patiently he waited until she was done pureeing little Tessa's meal, then he cleared his throat. 

She looked at him with a warm smile, as if she felt his hesitation. He fought the longing to drop his eyes and mess with his food, even though he didn't know where that urge was coming from. 

"I eh – I got an old lady," he blurted out. "I thought – maybe I can bring her home tomorrow?"

There was warmness in her eyes; a warmness mothers reserved for their children alone. He felt himself relax a little and rolled his tense shoulders. This was ridiculous. 

"Sure, I would love to meet her! What is her name?"

"Jamie."

"Is she one of the club girls?"

He shook his head; the comparison made him smirk. "No, she's very innocent compared to those girls. I don't know – she's different from any girl I've ever met. I'm sure you like her, she's really sweet."

His cheeks flushed. Damn – he really sounded like a pussy. 

"Very innocent?" She gave him a teasing smile. "So she isn't the reason you spent a night in jail last Saturday?"

"She's the type of girl a man tries to impress by doing stupid things," he muttered. 

"I don't think that has a lot to do with the type of girl," she winked. "It is rather depending on your degree of infatuation."

Awkwardly, he rubbed his neck. "Whatever."

"I'm just teasing you. I'm happy for you, son. I would love to meet her. Where did you meet?"

"She walked into the clubhouse a while ago, looking for a ride because she'd missed the bus. I brought her home, gave her my number... We've been on a few dates and I dunno... we both wanted more."

"That doesn't sound like you," his mother said, softly laughing. 

He couldn't disagree with her. Looking back at his previous relationships, it had taken months before he wanted something serious. Maybe he'd grown up – or maybe it was just Jamie. The knowledge that her roommate had feelings for her too, had taken away the last bit of doubt. 

"She's very special," he shrugged. "She's a girl you meet once in your life." 

He bit the inside of his cheek, relieved his father wasn't listening in to this conversation. He would have been ashamed of him. 

* * *

The place was so remote he immediately drew everyone's attention when he parked his bike next to the cars. He hadn't been to Jamie's internship before, but it had been quiet in the garage today and so he had decided to pick her up. He assumed she was a little nervous because she was going to meet his mother and he hoped to surprise her by showing up. 

Across a path that was eroded by many feet, he walked through the grass to a grey trailer. Under an umbrella a few young people were sitting around a table, leaving little indents on pottery shards by using white-out, to which they added a number. As soon as he caught their eye, they refrained from their activities and stared at him. Esai ignored them; he was used to people staring at him or even flinching as he walked by. 

A broad shouldered men stepped out of the trailer, giving him a questioning look. "Can I help you?"

His hostile tone didn't escape his attention. Again, he remembered why he hated those geeks; they always felt so above him. 

"My girls works here," he answered, looking the man with the walrus moustache in the eye. Esai thought he was quite massive for a scientist; he rather looked like the sheriff type. "I'm early, but I'll wait until you're done." He nodded to the excavation pits a little further ahead. "You mind if I go there?"

Maybe this wasn't a clever move, but he was so used to intimidating people by glaring at them when he wanted to get things done that it was a natural response. It however bore fruit; the project leader nodded in agreement. 

As soon as Esai walked past the man, he remembered Jamie had told him that her uncle was the senior archaeologist. "Fuck," he grumbled to himself. 

He had hoped to leave a better first impression. 

His pride however was too big to apologize – and in the end, _they_ had been the ones giving him dirty looks – and he continued to walk to the pits. 

Around eight trainees were working. It didn't take long before he noticed Jamie's brightly colored hair, which contrasted with the yellow safety suit she was wearing. He walked across the edge of the pit, until he reached the same level as her. He sat down on the edge, his legs dangling down from the earthen wall; the excavation floor was two feet beneath him. He didn't attract her attention immediately; he liked to watch her at work for a while. She was putting an orange piece of paper in something that looked like a photo frame which she laid down close to the lower leg of a skeleton. 

He bent a little forward; he had never seen a skeleton. From his spot he could at least count ten of them, one better preserved than the other. Most were already exposed well; students were making drawings of them or made pictures of them like Jamie did. 

His lips curled up as she looked critically at the picture, then she carefully put the camera away, picked up something from the ground and slipped it into a dime bag. Crouching down, she wrote something on a note, adding it to her findings. As she got up again, she saw him. Her eyes widened as if she couldn't believe he was here. He gave her a wink, accompanied by a wide grin. 

Slowly, paying attention to the skeletons surrounding her, she walked over to him. 

"Hey! What a nice surprise!" She took off her yellow gloves, putting them next to him on the top floor and laying her hands on his knees. He moved his legs further apart so she could stand between them. His fingers found their way into her hair as he dipped his head to kiss her. 

"I was done working early," he answered. "So I figured I could pick you up." He kissed her again. "I just couldn't wait to see you."

Her eyes were shining as she looked at him. "I'm sure I can leave a little earlier. You want a tour?"

Curiously, he looked at the skeletons. "This is kinda creepy. Can I get in the pit?"

Nodding, Jamie stepped back to make room for him. Carefully he slipped down the earthen wall, lowering himself into the giant pit. Her fingers laced with his while she gave him a tour across the ancient cemetery. 

"Look, this one is beautifully preserved." She took him to a corner were two skeletons were deposited; an adult and a child, both curled on their side. A shiver crept down his spine as he realized this had once been living persons. 

"You can touch them if you like."

The idea was stifling, although he was curious too. Crouching down, his hand hovered over the biggest skull. "Don't I need a suit or something? Gloves?" he asked, hesitating. "Is there a risk of getting contaminated with some ancient disease?"

"We wear the protective suits because there's lead in the ground. The bone material won't harm you, as long as you wash your hands."

His fingers glided across the curvature of the skull. It felt less fragile than expected. "So how old is this?" he asked impressed. 

"We're still working on the dating, but first estimate is that those people lived around 700 AD."

Thirteen hundred years ago... His head was spinning at the thought. 

He got up again, wrapping an arm around her waist and pressing a kiss to her jaw. "You also found gold or somethin'?"

She laughed quietly. "If we would have found gold, we would have needed guards. Most adornments are made of shell and beads."

That sounded a lot less interesting, but Jamie sounded enthusiast so he kept his opinion to himself. 

Jamie continued her tour, which ended at the trailer close to the exit. 

"This is my uncle," she said. "Rick."

"Hey." The man held out his hand, a little reluctantly. Esai had the feeling he wasn't the only one worrying about his first impression. 

"Esai," he introduced himself. "Can I take her with me?"

Rick looked at his watch before his glance moved across the other students. Then, he nodded. 

* * *

"Was I supposed to bring something with me?" Jamie asked as she got off his bike. "For your mom? Is that normal?"

"Guess it's more something I'm supposed to do when I meet your moms."

"Oh! Speaking of my moms! Next week it's my birthday," she said. "Then you can meet them! And my brother!"

Esai's eyes widened. "What? It's your birthday next week?"

"Yes! On Wednesday! I had forgotten about it – time goes by so fast! But I will throw a little party." Her smile faded and she sighed softly. "Although Juice will be there too. You think you two can ignore each other for one night?"

"On your birthday? Of course, love. Don't worry about us."

He had no reason to stay away, and even though Juice didn't like to see the two of them together, he didn't believe the man would skip her birthday for that reason. 

After pushing the key into the lock, he swung open the door. Man... Next week was her birthday. What the hell should he buy her? He had always been terrible at shit like that. He knew it wasn't hard to please Jamie; she would probably even be grateful if he gave her an apple, but he had the feeling he had to compete with Juice, who would certainly try to impress her. 

He took Jamie's jacket from her, draped it across the coat hanger and wrapped an arm around her narrow hips, gently guiding her towards the living room. They were greeted by baby noises when they entered the living room; Tessa was lying on her stomach on a rug, slamming a toy against the floor. 

"Awww she's so cute!" Jamie had only eyes for the little girl and knelt down besides his baby sister. "Hey pretty girl! I'm Jamie! Hi!"

Softened, he watched Jamie babbling to the little girl. Tessa sat up and grasped two fists full of Jamie's blue strands. He heard footsteps behind him and saw his mother showing up next to him, a dish clothe draped over her arm. 

"I'm afraid you're not cute enough for her undivided attention, mom," he said with a slight grin. "Babies, puppies and kittens... my biggest rivals." His own words caused a blush on his cheeks; he knew all too well neither of his exes had cared for things like that. 

After a while, Jamie looked up. She seemed to startle when she noticed his mother. "Sorry Mrs.!" Quickly, she got up. "I fell head over heels with your other child. What a sweetie!"

Shyly, she lifted her shoulders, offering his mother a smile making him swallow. She looked so innocent it called up a dark longing inside him. Quickly, he shook it off. 

"Hello darling. My name's Diana." His mother stepped forward and kissed her cheeks. "Nice to meet you, Jamie."

Jamie beamed as she walked past the rug and slipped her arms around him. He kissed her temple and closed his eyes, simply enjoying her presence in his own house. 

* * *

Diana barely recognized her son; he was constantly holding her hand, smiling at her and he looked at her with an admiring look in his eyes. There was no lust filling his eyes, as she had seen many times inside the clubhouse. This was something different, something new and being a witness to it was beautiful. 

It took Jamie around thirty minutes to loosen up a bit; then she turned into a motormouth. While she helped in the kitchen to prepare the food – where she was rather standing in the way than being helpful – she chatted about her internship, her family and moving to California. 

When she told her that she lived in Charming now, all red flags started to wave. Her shoulders tensed, although she tried to hide it from the girl. 

"Charming you said, huh? How did you end up in Oakland?" Her eyes shot to her son, who was setting the table. She was barely surprised when he froze, briefly answering her look. 

Something was not right about this. 

"I told you how I met her," Esai said. "That she entered the clubhouse looking for a ride."

Diana narrowed her eyes. She wasn't stupid. It was unthinkable that her son suddenly fell in love with a girl from _Charming._ Was this the reason why Esai behaved different than around his former girlfriends? Was he simply laying it on too thick? 

She decided not to pry further, instead she directed the conversation into another direction. Her suspicions however were confirmed when her husband came home, being overly nice to the girl. They were together for 27 years – one look was enough to tell her he wasn't glad about his son's girlfriend, which Esai sensed too. 

Jamie didn't suspect anything, chattering cheerfully about the excavation she had done in Brasil last summer, and from there she easily moved on to a new subject, telling them about the pregnant dog she and her roommate found a few days ago. 

When she told them they had taken the animal to the clubhouse, Diana knew enough. 

They were using the girl – and it made her blood boil.

* * *

She asked Jamie whether she would like to bathe Tessa, creating an opportunity to talk to her boys. The girl was immediately enthusiast and went upstairs, not aware of the tension in the room. Her son was busy cleaning up, her husband was still at the table, immersed in his phone. She put her hands on her sides. 

"Unbelievable. I can't believe you use an innocent girl like her."

Esai dropped his eyes, her husband however showed no shame. "It's none of your business."

"None of my business?!" she repeated in a sharp tone. "That girl believes we will become her in-laws, which is very important to her since her family lives far away. I am part of those in-laws too and I don't want her heart to break. You always told me no innocent civilians were involved in club matters."

"You act like we're about to kill her," Marcus huffed. "All we want, is her roommate's laptop. She might even give it to us voluntarily if Esai comes up with a good excuse."

"So that she will be a victim to the wrath of the Sons? Are you out of your mind?!"

His eyes narrowed. She knew she was crossing borders, but he was too. 

"When she finds out you used her to get access to a laptop, she will break!'

"It's not like that. I'm not using her," Esai protested. He looked up, his eyes firm. "Her roommate isn't the reason we're together. It's just a lucky side effect. If she had lived in Oakland, I still would have made her mine."

Marcus snorted disdainfully. "Cut the crap, Esai. The moment you've done your job, you two are over. The Sons will make sure of that. And if they don't – then I will."

Her son's fingers clenched into fists, then he spun around, slammed the door behind him and stomped up the stairs. 

Diana sighed softly when she saw the big picture. Her Son had to pretend to be in love with the girl, and now he had really fallen for her.

"Why are you so harsh on him?" she asked, sitting down next to her husband. "He's in love with her."

"Which is ridiculous. She acts like a child, she is not the type of woman Esai needs on his side."

"I think you're wrong," Diana answered. "I see a lot of qualities in her. She dares to dream big, she is passionate... Yes, she is naive, but that will ensure that she supports Esai's decisions, especially because she's so trusting, and it also keeps her from getting paralyzed by the fear hat comes with being an old lady."

In fact, she envied the young woman. Diana herself had been 15 when she got pregnant with Esai, where after Marcus had promised to take care of her. She had been forced to give up all her dreams. 

Jamie however was full of life, she was someone who could see through the grayness of the world, showing others colors they couldn't see themselves. Diana hadn't misinterpreted the look in her boy's eyes – he loved her. 

Even Marcus must have drawn that conclusion, otherwise he hadn't been fiercely against it. He considered Jamie as a treat, someone who might be able to pull Esai away from the club; someone who could teach their son to view the world in a different perspective. 

He was afraid to lose his son to the mysterious, heart warming girl who was a sharp contrast to everything he knew. A girl so out of touch that he couldn't fill in her thoughts, whose behavior he couldn't predict, making him feel insecure. An unpredictable factor in his son's life, in his life and in the club life. And if there was one thing Marcus hated, it were unpredictable factors. 


	26. With My Life

Quietly, Esai stood in the doorway to the bathroom, his shoulder leaning against the door frame. Jamie sat on her knees in front of the bathtub, her sleeves rolled up to her elbows. She moved a rubber duck through the water, which Tessa tried to slap, giggling. She had tied her colored hair together, hanging it down her left shoulder. Her sweater crept up a bit, showing a part of her only tattoo. He wasn't sure what it depicted; he had always paid more attention to her body itself instead of its ornaments. It was a fist-sized round tattoo with countless small details around a stylized face, of which he could only see the chin right now. The style reminded him of his club symbol, so he assumed it was some Mayan glyph. Although he wanted to make her his with his own tattoo one day, it felt like her current tattoo already connected them. As if they were meant to be. 

_Meant to be. Really Esai?!_ He shook off the ridiculous thought. 

What the hell was going on with him lately? Was he really looking for signs proving that his father was wrong in stupid things like this? The whole conversation of tonight still caused a pit in his stomach. To distract himself, he looked at the jeans hugging her bottom, showing off her curves now she was leaning forward. Oh, how badly did he want to go down on his knees behind her, roll down her pants and his own, grab her hips and thrust inside her...

A little ashamed he tore his glance away from her behind. 

No – that wasn't how he pictured their first time at all. He wanted to look into her eyes, he was going to be gentle and slow. The brief fantasy however was enough to make him hard. Almost two weeks without sex started to take its toll. Sure, he jerked himself off now and then, but it wasn't the same as being inside someone. 

How much longer would she want to wait? Even a month was probably too optimistic. Waiting a month... Had he ever waited a month for someone? No way. It's not that it was that hard to resist other chicks; he still wasn't interested in anyone else. It however became harder and harder not to cross Jamie's borders.

"Come on, let's get you dressed." Jamie pulled the plug from the bath, waited until the water ran off and turned away from Tessa to grab a towel. From the corner of her eye she saw him, for a bright smile appeared on her face. 

"Hey handsome! How long are you standing there?"

"For a while. You look damn cute." He walked over to her, gave her a sweet kiss and glided an arm around her. 

With a fluffy towel she started to dry Tessa. Carefully she stroked the baby's little toes and fingers with the pink fabric and in the end she picked her up and laid her down at the changing table. 

Esai chuckled when she wanted to put the romper on. Standing behind her, he laid his hands on her hips. "You're not very experienced with babies, huh?" Dipping his head, he kissed the crook of her neck. 

She looked over her shoulder, insecure. "Is it so obvious?" She blushed. 

"I think my mom's gonna curse ya tonight if she finds out you forgot to put her a diaper on."

"O right." She giggled nervously. "She's already so big! I totally forgot."

He smirked, pulling her closer. "It will take at least another year before she's housebroken, and it will take another year before she isn't wetting her bed anymore."

He opened a drawer and handed her a diaper. His mom had probably planned to help once the conversation was over and left it to him now. He wrapped his arms around her waist again, whispering to her what to do. A little clumsily she lifted Tessa by her leg, shoving the diaper underneath her and fastening the glue strips.

"Hmm, you're going to be a great mom. I can already tell."

"But not yet, right? First I have to graduate and find a job!"

"I know." He started to kiss her neck. "But until then we can practice with making babies, right?"

Giggling, she tried to push him away. "I think you know pretty well how to make babies."

"Maybe that's what I want you to believe. In fact, I might be very inexperienced in bed."

She started to laugh. "Well up to now you knew pretty well what to do."

His hands glided upwards until they cupped her breasts and he squeezed his fingers, grinding his waist against her ass and pressing her against the changing table. Fuck – he wanted her so badly. "I know some more tricks," he said softly. Although it was meant to sound like a whisper, it sounded more like a grunt. 

"Esai..." Laughing, she pulled his hands away. "Your little sister is watching us!"

"At this age she can." Nevertheless he pulled back his arms – the sooner they were alone, the better. He watched how Jamie put on Tessa's romper on, followed by her pajamas. Then, Esai picked up his little sister and carried her to her bedroom. Kissing her soft forehead, he laid her in her crib and tucked her in. 

"Sweet dreams, little one," he said softly. Her eyes were already closed. He looked aside. Jamie was standing next to him, looking smitten at his little sister. 

"You makin' me jealous, _chiqui._ You pay more attention to her than to me."

"I'm never around babies. They are so sweet."

"Only when they stop cryin' at night." His hand glided into hers and he pulled her out of the room. Jamie wanted to head for the stairs, but he led her the other way. The last thing he wanted, was going downstairs. 

"I've shared you long enough with my family for today," he grunted, opening the door to his bedroom. The moment it was closed, he pushed her against it and started to kiss her passionately. Lust was flowing through his veins, his hands glided underneath her sweater, eagerly absorbing her body warmth. One hand glided into the cup of her bra, the other fidgeted with the button of her pants until there was enough room for his hand to slip inside. He dotted kisses to her neck, sucking her flesh fiercely until she whimpered. 

"Esai stop..." she said when his fingers slipped into her panties. 

"You're so wet for me baby," he panted. "You want me. You want me _chiqui._ " He pulled down her pants, and also her panties. In a daze he unbuckled his belt. 

"Esai! Esai stop! 

Suddenly, his vision became clear again. She was struggling, trying to push him away. 

And she was crying, shielding off her crotch with her hand. 

Dazed, Esai stepped back. "Sorry..." he stammered in a tiny voice. "I – don't know what happened."

She turned away from him, pulling up her pants, still sobbing. 

He felt a stab in his stomach. 

"Fuck," he grunted. "FUCK! Jamie I'm sorry! I'm so sorry!"

With tears in her eyes she looked up to him. There was so much hurt in them it made him flinch. 

"I got carried away... I lost control." Sighing, he sat down on the edge of his bed, rubbing his face. That was no excuse for what he had done. 

Skittishly he looked up to her. She had wrapped her arms around herself and stared at the floor. "I wanna go home," she whispered. 

But he didn't want her to home. Juice would be there; he would comfort her and take advantage of her vulnerability. If he let her leave now, he was afraid she would never give him a second chance. He might never see her again. 

"I get why you're angry, why you're disappointed in me." He swallowed – he found this harder than expected. Silently he cursed himself. What the hell did he _think_ would happen? "I went too far. I was frustrated and turned on and that's a dangerous combination. It's just... Usually when I feel worked up about something I drag a girl from the clubhouse to my room and have my way with her to get the feeling out of my system. What I just did... Was a really bad habit. And I'm not trying to come up with excuses for I know I was wrong. But I... I try to explain to you where this was coming from. I didn't wanna hurt you. I just... couldn't think clear anymore."

Opening up to someone like this wasn't exactly natural for him, but around Jamie it became easier every day. Plus, he had no choice but doing this – if not she would _certainly_ leave. 

"But why do you feel so frustrated?" she asked quietly. "I thought we were doing great."

He dropped his eyes. "We _are_ doing great, that's the point." He hesitated. Maybe he should tell her – reveal at least a part of his task to her. Maybe it would help, once he really managed to steal Juice's laptop. At least she would know he had been after _something,_ it might make her feel less betrayed. "I gotta confess something to explain it." He swallowed. "And it's not easy for me."

Those words had exactly the effect he'd expected. She shoved her own pain to the side to help him. He felt her hesitation when she sat down next to him, taking his hands in hers. 

"Tell me," she said softly. "I want to understand you."

A little emotional he lowered his head on her shoulder. She was so sweet. Her heart was so kind. He spread his fingers, making hers fall between them. 

"I really like you, Jamie," he said. "From the moment I saw you, I wanted you. But especially in my bed," he admitted. "That's where I like to see all hot girls before I met you. You told me you were a virgin, and under normal circumstances I would have left you a few minutes later." He searched for words. "But when I found out about your connection to the Sons, I thought I could use it. If I started dating you, I might get a little insight in the Son's business. When they're out of town, and stuff like that..." 

Ashamed he stared at his knees. The relief he'd expected to feel, stayed away. Instead, he was only afraid of her reaction while it felt like he was betraying the club. 

"I suggested it to my club. I wanted to pretend that I was in love with you to get access to information. What I'd never expected, was that I would really fall for you – already at our first date." He looked aside. 

Jamie said nothing. She stared forward in silence. 

"Do you believe it?" he asked quietly. "That I'm truly in love with you?"

She looked up and sighed softly. That it hadn't been love at first sight for him, seemed to crumble down the fairy tale like layer of their relationship. "The moment Juice knew who you were, he told me this. That he was the reason you were dating me."

He bit the inside of his cheek. Of course Juice had told her that. "So you already knew."

"I hoped he was wrong."

Silence fell. Esai decided to tell her right away what his father thought of all this. "Pops is mad at me for falling for you. He believes there's no future for us and that you're too sweet to be a good old lady. And he said... That once I'd find the intel and you would feel betrayed, that the Sons wouldn't let you leave Charming anymore and that if they did, he would make sure you wouldn't see me anymore." He took a deep breath. "That's what he told me when you were bathing Tessa. Ever since I started seeing you, he's fiercely against a real relationship and it's just fucking frustrating that he dislikes whatever type of girl I fall for. It's never good enough for him. He just wants me to pick a docile girl from the clubhouse, someone who asks no questions, who has no opinion of herself... He just keeps telling me it won't work between us and those words just get into my head and now I'm so afraid to lose you, especially after what I just did..."

Admitted – this all was a little bit exaggerated and too dramatic. It made him feel guilty because he was playing on her feelings and manipulating her; still his words had been true. 

He didn't want to lose her. 

But if he could get anywhere near Juice's laptop, he wouldn't hesitate for a second. No matter how her response would be. He hated it right now, but it was true; club comes first. 

And despite his strong feelings, he knew Jamie for only two weeks, while he was trying to prove himself to his dad for years. 

"You won't lose me that simple," Jamie said. "I'm really glad about your honesty."

He felt immensely relieved when she wrapped her arms around him. Without hesitating he pulled her close, burying his nose in her hair, his lips pressing against her scalp. 

"I'm so sorry about what just happened," he said as he pulled his face back, looking for her eyes to show her he meant it. "It won't happen again, I promise. As much as I want to make love with you, I never want to be the reason you cry again. It was a hard lesson. I hope you want to give me a second chance."

The silence following his words made him feel nervous. What if she told him no?

"I forgive you," she said eventually. "Also for not being honest about going out with me in the first place. Can we be honest which each other from now on?"

Saying yes – it was so easy. But no, he didn't want to speak out another lie. 

"I want to try. But there are things – club related things – I can't talk about with non-members. I wasn't even supposed to tell you this, although Juice isn't stupid. He knew it instantly. I know I'll never get that intel, since your roommate avoids me."

"But for how long do you have to keep doing this?" she sighed. "Being a spy? Can't you just tell your brothers you failed?"

He hesitated. "They're not as forgiving as you. Now and then I need to give them something. When the club is on a run or something."

She sighed. "But why do they need to know that? I just... I just don't understand what this is all about."

"It's for the best if you don't understand, love." He hesitated. "We're an outlaw motorclub. You know what that means?"

She shook her head. 

"Most motorclubs exist of... normal, decent people. Some... of a little less decent people, who don't care much about the law and who make money with prostitution, drug and gun trade and shit like that."

Her eyes went wide. He sighed internally. Sweet, naive Jamie... But he couldn't keep this from her.

"We're an outlaw motorclub, doing illegal shit. The Sons are no different; that's why we're rivals." A smile tugged at his lips. "So yeah, in the eyes of common people and especially the cops, Juice and I are both criminals. But we live up to a code and we will never go after children or women to get things done. That's not how we are." With his thumb, he brushed her hand. "And that's why I can't tell you everything, because I'm involved in illegal shit. It's even dangerous if you know too much and the last thing I want is putting you in danger." For a moment he paused, then he said honestly: "But people might want to hurt me by hurting you... Things like that have happened before. Not everyone is honorable. If that's a risk you don't want to take, I fully understand."

Jamie bent her head and stared into her lap. She was silent. 

Although it made him nervous, he was relieved she didn't brush it off. 

"Maybe you can talk about it with my mom," he suggested. Hesitantly he added: "Or with Clay's old lady."

"Whatever their opinion is... They decided to stay with their partner. And your mom must have been very young."

Esai nodded. "She was fourteen when she started dating my dad."

She looked up. "It scares me."

He nodded. "It scares me too," he admitted. "To lose someone I care about. But I also know there are many men who want to keep you save. Sons _and_ Mayans, in your case. I can't imagine there's someone who wants the wrath of both clubs on his head."

She laid her head against his shoulder again. "Will you protect me?"

"Yeah baby. I will protect you." He wrapped his arms tightly around her. "With my life, if I need too."

She turned into his embrace, kissing him softly. When he tasted her forgiveness and love, he was more convinced of his words than ever. 

He would protect her with his life. 


	27. Playing You

Daphne was standing in front of the mirror, slipping her hands across the new dress. The fabric was smooth and showed off her breasts, and the green color matched with her eyes. This was absolutely a fine purchase. 

She turned around and opened the next package, pulling a silver dress out of it with flowery patterns at breast height. Right when she wanted to pull of the piece of clothe, the doorbell rang. More deliveries? Could be. The fact that she hadn't heard from Juice in days while he ignored her in the clubhouse, was eating her. Giving herself lots of presents had cheered her up a little. 

Hoping she would be greeted by a hot deliverer, she opened the door with a charming smile. When she saw the man on the other side, she froze. 

Juice. 

It didn't happen often to Daphne, but she didn't know what to say or do. She was pissed because he'd ignored her for such a long time while he had treated her like a whore but damn – he was so fucking hot. It was hard to stay mad with a guy with a body like that – even when that body was covered for the most part. 

Juice cleared his throat. "Hey."

He didn't look as confident as usual, and he handed her a bouquet of flowers. 

Flowers. Hilarious.

Nevertheless, she took the gift from him. Her heart started to beat faster at the realization that this was an apology. 

"I'm not myself lately, and I really behaved like a dick," he said. "I'm sorry Daphne."

She nodded slowly, her pride too big to pull him into a hug immediately. Stepping aside, she let him in. 

His glance wandered across her dress. The intense longing igniting in his eyes made her smirk. She peeked at his crotch, noticing that he was already starting to feel excited. Satisfied, she stepped towards him, wrapping one arm around his waist. With her other hand she grabbed between his legs. 

"Be honest with me," she whispered in his ear, kneading him. "Have you been faithful to me the past week? Did you bang sluts in the clubhouse?"

"I didn't let anyone touch me," he answered in a needy voice.

She laughed quietly. "So that's why you here?"

She started to unbutton his pants, slipping her hand inside. Eagerly she grabbed his hard member. Her cunt was clenching, she couldn't wait to feel him inside her again. 

Impatiently he sank his teeth in her neck and when she looked aside, he started to kiss her while his hands glided to her ass. Skillfully she jerked him off, until he pulled her hand away, backed her up against the wall and pinned both of her wrists above her head with one hand.

"Did you sleep around?"

"Of course not, baby."

By answer, he kissed her again. His fingers pulled the neck of her dress to the side, so his large hand could roughly grab her breast. His lips descended, quickly finding her nipple. Daphne tore away her wrists, wrapped her arms around his neck and her legs around his waist. His hand grabbed for her thong, pulling it to the side. Without any foreplay he started to fuck her hard. She hissed in pain, burying her nails into his shoulders.

His eyes met hers, showing his concern. He knew she loved to go rough, it however never kept him from checking up on her.

"Harder baby," she panted. "Fuck – I missed this."

His hips slammed against hers; the pain faded and was replaced by that wonderful feeling only he could give her. Again and again he hit her so deep her head was spinning. His fingers clawed into her hair; his withheld grunts told her his frustration was caused by a lot more than a week without sex. 

A few more thrusts and he came. The moment he pulled out of her, she lowered her legs. She didn't feel insecure often, but suddenly she was afraid that he would leave just like last time, without giving anything in return. In silence she watched him put his stuff back in his pants. As if he read the fear in her eyes, he took her hand and led her to the couch, pulling her sideways on his lap. 

This time his kisses were tender and soft. One hand cupped her breast, the other stroked the inside of her thigh, creeping up until he was rubbing her clit. She kissed the side of his face, breathing in his scent while his fingers caused a chain reaction of heavy feelings until she was calling out his name. 

Panting, she kept leaning against him. She closed her eyes, trying not to think about how much she'd missed this and how horrible she'd felt the past week. She wanted to enjoy this; for all Sons it was just a matter of time before they were bored by their toy. 

"I missed you," she whispered nonetheless. 

"Sorry," he answered softly. 

Her heart ached when he didn't tell her he'd missed her too.

But if he hadn't missed her, he wouldn't have been here, right? 

She sat up a little straighter so she could look into his eyes and stroked his face. His brown eyes were full of emotions; she'd never been very skilled in defining them. He never talked about his feelings – nor did she. Should she give it a shot? 

"How do you feel?"

She bit her lip. It sounded so stupid, she couldn't remember she'd ever asked him that question before. 

He frowned slightly and didn't answer immediately, as if he was wondering whether he should tell her the truth or not. 

She kissed him softly before she looked at him again. "The sex is always mind blowing," she said. "But we're dating for five months now and sometimes I have the feeling we barely know each other."

"And now what?" he muttered. "We're good at sex. Not at – talking about shit."

His answer hurt her. It was something they could learn, which they could get used too. "But you do talk to Jamie, right? You do vent to her."

She couldn't keep the jealousy out of her voice. Jamie might not be as hot as she was, but it felt like Daphne had only access to her boyfriend's body, while his crazy roommate got everything else. 

"It's different with Jamie," he muttered. 

"Why?"

He was silent. 

She sighed. "Why don't you give it a shot? You feel frustrated, it's clear as day. Why can't you tell me the reason?"

Pensively, he looked at her. "Because you don't want me to worry about her. I don't want the umpteenth fight about Jamie."

She gritted her teeth. Of course this was about that slut. Nevertheless she relaxed her jaw. "I guess it's really bothering you."

He sighed, avoiding her glance. Should she insist? Wait? 

While she was still weighing her possibilities, he started to talk again. 

"He's a Mayan," he said in a grunt. "Her boyfriend is a fuckin' Mayan."

She could help but squint her eyes. He sounded jealous. 

"The only reason he is dating her, is because she shares a house with me. But she's smitten and she just can't see his real intentions."

Daphne plucked at her hair. "The truth will come out one day, baby. She's not made of glass."

"But she's fucking vulnerable and he _knows_ it. He will break her heart."

The vein on his temple was swelling, frustration radiating from his face. 

She sighed softly. "Every girl will get to know the pain of a broken heart once in her life, Juice. She'll get over it. Don't worry so much, she's just your roommate. Not your little sister who's virginity you have to protect."

"It's about more than her heart," he complained. "My fucking archenemy has access to my house. You think I'm going to have dinner with them? Sleep under the same roof? That asshole has to leave."

Daphne caressed his face, but her touches only seemed to annoy him. Disappointed, she pulled back her hand. "I wish I could help," she said. 

It wasn't a lie; she really wished she could do something to make her boyfriend feel better. 

He stared forward, a frown on his forehead. "Hmm... Maybe you can."

Questioningly, she raised her eyebrows. 

"It's her birthday in a few days. Jamie doesn't want to have sex yet, so I'm sure Esai can't handle much temptation. If you cozy up on him... see if you can make him cheat on her... Then Jamie will realize she's just a toy in his eyes and dump him."

She stared at him in disbelief. " _What?!_ You want me to play whore?"

"It just has to look like there's something between you two. If you wear this dress, I'm damn sure he can't keep his eyes off you."

Angrily she clenched her jaw. What the hell was he thinking?! That cunt really was an obsession for him. She didn't believe it had _anything_ to do with that Mayan; it was obvious that he wanted that crazy girl for himself."

"You're in love with her," she concluded out loud. 

"Don't be stupid," he hissed. "I'm trying to protect her, I'm not trying to get into her pants. In her eyes I'm just a friend."

_Uh-huh. But not in your eyes, hmm?_

She got the nasty feeling that this was the only reason he'd came to her. Because he wanted something from her. Because he wanted to use her. 

"Asking something like this from your girlfriend, it makes no sense, Juice. Telling her to kiss another guy."

"You don't have to kiss him. Just make it look like it. Come on – all you have to do is bat your eyelashes and smile. You know you can wrap every guy around your finger."

She rolled her eyes. "This is ridiculous."

Suddenly, the look in his eyes turned dark. "Thought you'd wanted to be my old lady, hmm?" His eyes drilled into hers. The darkness inside them was absolutely a turn on. 

Hoarsely, she answered: "I do."

"Then do as you're told. For that's what old ladies do."

She didn't like his answer. Comments like these were common among the Sons, but Juice had never spoken to her in this tone. She liked her boyfriend to be a bit dominant, but helping to destroy his roommate's relationship went a little too far. 

On the other hand... Jamie was a stupid cunt. If anything, she deserved a broken heart. And if she found out that Juice had encouraged his girlfriend to kiss her boyfriend to 'protect her'... Well that could be interesting. Maybe she'd never want to see Juice again. The perfect way to get rid of that bitch. 

"Okay," she said sweetly to Juice, pecking his lips. "As you wish."

He seemed surprised, then he gave her a passionate kiss. 

* * *

For the rest of the day they didn't do much but cuddling and making out, and it felt like they were making up for lost time. Nevertheless there was a gnawing feeling in her stomach because she knew her boyfriend had feelings for someone else. 

Later that night, when she was staring into the bathroom mirror, she saw a whole different vision, in which Jamie wouldn't hate Juice at all, but in which Juice convinced her he wanted what was best for her and that he had simply proven her that the guy didn't love her. She could totally imagine how Juice would comfort her, where after he would shove her, Daphne, to the side. 

Biting on her lip she stared at her reflection. She didn't want to lose him. Even being used by him was better than being ignored again, even when it made her feel cheap. But she didn't want to give up on him, especially not for that ugly slut. She just needed to find a way to tie him to her...

Her glance rested upon the case of pills next to her toothbrush. Yeah... When she was carrying his child, he would be tied to her forever. Then he would forget about that silly girl; she knew how important family was to him. He would want to give their child a stable domestic situation. 

This was her chance. Pressing the pill out, she threw it into the toilet and flushed it away. 

He would never find out. 

If he believed he could play her shamelessly to achieve his goals, she had the right to do the same.


	28. We Belong Together

Jamie was alarmingly quiet. She ate slowly, staring at the table top and being deep in thoughts. At first Juice waited until she spoke out her thoughts; when she didn't, he decided to ask. 

"Did something happen?" he asked in a soft voice. 

Her shoulders slumped down. As she looked up, he read the doubt in her eyes. Yesterday she had been with Esai... Had he hurt her? The feelings that arose at that thought were conflicting; part of him wanted to beat Esai's face to pulp, and at the same time the hope flared up that things would soon end between the two. 

Doubt was good. 

His own thoughts made him feel sick; he wanted her to feel horrible because that might mean that she would end her relationship with Esai. Ashamed, he stared at his empty plate. 

"No, I'm fine," she answered almost inaudible. 

She lied – and it gave him a sour feeling. She used to tell him everything. 

There was a tense silence between them. Juice got up to clear the table. He felt disappointed when his roommate helped him in silence, disappearing into her room once she had taken everything to the kitchen. After putting the dishes in the dishwasher, Juice leaned against the counter top, sighing. The past days had been busy; he had looked forward to spend time with her. 

After a brief moment of hesitation he decided not to give up so quickly. Her mood probably had something to do with Esai; she might be afraid that he would tell her things that would only make her feel more sad. Instead of trying to get her to talk, he decided to simply distract her, to maker smile again. 

He knocked at the door of her room and opened it. She was lying on her stomach on the bed, an opened book on her pillow. Instead of reading it, she stared at the wall. It took a while before she heard the knock on the door and turned her head aside. 

He sat down on the edge of the bed, rubbing her upper arm soothingly. "Mulling over it is gonna make you crazy sweetie. Come on, let's have some fun. You'll feel more energetic and it will be easier to downplay whatever is bothering you."

She sat up. "What do you want to do?"

A mysterious smile crossed his lips. "Something I always refuse to do." He got up, holding out his hand to help her on her feet. "You comin'?"

Something of her old enthusiasm returned to her eyes. She grabbed his hand and he helped her on her feet. A tingling traveled through his hand when their fingers laced; the last time he'd held her hand felt like ages ago. He felt the irresistible longing to pull her in his arms and he could keep himself from doing so just in time. She would probably have no suspicions when he would do it, but he didn't trust himself. If he couldn't suppress that longing, what would stop him from kissing her? 

Before he could do something he would regret, he pulled back his arm and led her to the living room. Kneeling in front of the Wii, he searched for the game and put it in the device. Getting up, he handed her the controller and switched the tv to the right channel. 

Her eyes lit up when the music started and the logo of _Just Dance_ appeared on the screen. During the first days she had begged him to join her, but he hadn't considered for a minute to dance around like some idiot. 

"We're going to do this together?" she asked enthusiastically, her voice laced with disbelief. 

_Together..._ The word made his heart do flip-flops. Smirking, he nodded to her. "You can pick a song. As long as it isn't Bieber."

Chuckling, she scrolled down the list of songs. "Queen!"

She made sure _two players_ was enabled and started _Don't Stop Me Now._

Juice knew he would suck at it. But he didn't mind; all he wanted was cheering her up, he wasn't trying to impress her with his dancing skills. 

They started to copy the dance moves. Jamie had done it many times before; sometimes he secretly watched her from behind his laptop at the table, pretending he was working. She sucked at carrying a tune, but she didn't seem to mind as long as she had fun. He stepped forward and back, swung his hips, making exaggerated movements with his arms. She started to laugh when their eyes met, and he felt a pleasant shiver creep down his spine. 

Jamie was oblivious to it; she turned her attention back to the screen and continued to dance. 

"See! This is fun! We should have done this ages ago!"

Yeah – they should. 

He however also knew people would tease him for the rest of his life as they caught him now.

They danced on various songs. Whatever had burdened Jamie's mind; it seemed to be gone now. Her eyes were shining again, her laughter the most beautiful sound he'd ever heard. 

"Oh, I want to do a duet! I've never done that with a boy!"

"Sure..." He bit the inside of his cheek; as nonchalant as he'd wanted to sound, he couldn't ward off the longing in his voice. 

She sank down on her knees, messed with the games and picked up the Valentine's edition. 

"I've done them alone but that's different." She got up, navigating through the songs. "This was one is beautiful! So romantic!" The bar with _Time Of My Life_ was flickering. "If I practice with you, I can do this dance with Esai later!'

Esai. With one word, his heart turned in a chunk of ice. He tried to push away the jealousy. Apparently, she felt more comfortable around him than around her boyfriend, that was good. 

"Once you've danced with me, you will have no desire to be hold by Esai ever again," he answered teasingly. 

She laughed. "We'll see about that!"

Both aimed their attention back to the tv. It was a slow song, so the moves probably weren't that complicated. As shown, Jamie turned away from him. He put his feet a little further apart, holding out his arm and cupping her jaw with his hand to make her turn towards him, exactly as he was instructed to do. 

For a moment he forgot how to breathe when he looked her in the eye. Jamie put a hand on his shoulder and watched the screen, making him do the same. He laid his hands on the center of her back. Gracefully she bent back, holding his shoulder while leaning into his arms, making him lean into her. He helped her to stand straight again, reluctantly letting go of her, hoping there would soon be another moment he could hold her. 

Only halfway the song he was allowed to wrap his arms around her waist again. His heart was hammering in his chest as she danced closer to him. Initially he avoided her glance because he started to feel nervous, not knowing if he could keep himself in check. 

As subtle as he could, he turned her a little so her back was towards the tv to hide the fact that they were supposed to let go of each other again. He didn't want to let go of her. He simply couldn't. All kind of things were swirling in his stomach when he pulled her closer. Did she feel this too? He dipped his head until his forehead rested against hers. His mouth felt dry as he heard her gasp. Slowly, she looked up to him. 

As cliche as it was – it felt like the world stopped moving. He no longer heard the music, he was no longer aware of the fact that this dance was friendly in nature. He looked into those eyes that were always sparkling, that were so full of life, for which he always longed when his head was a mess. Before he knew what he was doing, he cupped her jaw with his left hand, brushing her cheek with his thumb. His hand slowly moved aside, his thumb tracing her bottom lip. 

He was so nervous his heart almost gave out, and yet he couldn't turn away from her. Her cheeks flushed, confusion filling her eyes before she dropped them. He was blushing too; he really didn't know what to do with these strong feelings. Since he was afraid that things would become super awkward, he pressed his lips against her forehead and pulled her in a hug. Her arms glided across his back, holding him tight. 

She didn't break away from him, not even when the song started to replay. He held her in his arms, swaying to the music. Did she also feel this special connection? Holding her like this felt natural, like she belonged in his arms. 

"You think I would be a bad old lady?" she asked all of a sudden. 

The question was so unexpected it felt like his ears were ringing. 

She looked up to him, the look in her eyes almost desperate. 

"Where is this coming from?" he asked. "Jamie..." He lifted her chin. "You would be an amazing old lady. You're so sweet, so positive. I always look forward to spend time with you. Did – did Esai tell you differently?"

She sighed quietly. "His father believes I'm not good enough for him." Her shoulders slumped down. "You know... I have no father. And somehow, I'd hoped that Esai's father would be... well, you know... something like a dad to me. But he – he doesn't even like me." Tears filled her eyes and she wiped them briefly.

"Some fathers are assholes," Juice muttered. He brushed a tear from her cheek. "My dad left us when I was three."

"He did? That's horrible..."

"You have two amazing moms. That's much better than having a dad." He gave her a sad smile. "And Alvarez is insane if he really believes you don't deserve Esai. Then he obviously doesn't know you."

Jamie was quiet for a while. For a long time she leaned with her head against his shoulder, then she looked up again. "You were right. About Esai. You were the reason he wanted to date me."

"What?" Juice stared at her in disbelief – he hadn't seen that confession coming. "How did you find out?" Was that the reason she was so sad? 

"He told me yesterday. His father believes I'm just an informer and he's mad with Esai because he fell in love with me."

Juice gritted his teeth. _Right. Good way to talk yourself out of this, asshole._

He however wondered why Esai had told her the truth in the first place. It could only cause trouble – why had he taken that risk? Was he coming clean? Was this part of some stupid plan or were his feelings for Jamie real? 

Suddenly it felt like he'd swallowed a kilo of sand. He didn't even know what thought was harder to bear: that Esai was still playing her or that whatever there was between them was real. 

"Well... Esai will have to succeed his father," he said eventually. "Gemma is also different from the other old ladies. To be honest I've always been a bit scared of her, while you're the sweetest girl I've ever met."

He didn't look away when their eyes met. Again, a pink tinge spread across her cheeks. 

"I would want you as my old lady," he said quietly. He just couldn't keep it to himself anymore, it felt like he had to make a move _now_ if he ever wanted to be with her. 

He held his breath while he waited for her answer. She stared him in the eye, then she snickered softly. 

"Yeah, that would be really cool, right? Then we can dance forever!" 

He nodded blankly. 

"But then we have to be in love with each other and we aren't!"

_Bam._

Like a punch in the face. In his imagination, he could hear Esai's laughter in the background. 

_'She's mine, remember? How much times does she have to friend-zone you before you cut your losses?'_

Determined, he gritted his teeth. _Until she acknowledges that we belong together._

Jamie pulled at his hand. "Come on, let's do another song!"

He faked a smile. "Once you're going to dance with Esai, you're not gonna pretend you're a natural, huh?"

She giggled. "No, I will tell him I've practiced with you!"

Satisfied, he turned his face towards the tv. _Good. Very good._


	29. Competitive Jewelry

"Juice?" Her voice came out of the bathroom. "Can you zip my dress? The zipper's kinda rigid."

Juice walked into the still steamy room, his skin felt clammy immediately. Jamie had turned her back towards him and tugged at the zipper on her lower back. 

"I'm afraid to tear it," she muttered, looking over her shoulder. "And it's the first time I wear it."

Juice came to stand behind her and was about to zip up. "Did you dry yourself at all?" he wondered at the sight of the drops on her back. He grabbed the towel from the hook and wiped her back. 

"It's because of my hair," she chuckled. "But there isn't much you can say about wet hair." She shook her had, making drops fly around. 

"Hey!" Quickly he turned his face away, laughing when she did the same, accidentally sweeping her hair into his face. "Now it's wet again. I'm startin' to think you're doin' this on purpose."

He used the mirror to look at her, shaking his head as she stuck out her tongue. 

"I kinda like having a servant."

He grabbed her hips, squeezing the flesh above them so she jumped, squeaking. Smirking, he dried her back once more. He noticed the goosebumps spreading underneath his touch, taking as much time to wipe her dry as he could. His hands were tingling, he wanted to run them across her body, feeling every curve. Before he would really make a move, he focused on his job. He took the zip between his fingers, pulling the fabric down a little to create an opposing force. Suddenly, his eye caught a bit of ink and he remembered Roman's words.

"Hey, you got a tattoo?" he asked, pretending to be surprised. 

"Yes!" She looked over her shoulder. 

"Can I see it?"

"Sure!"

Juice pulled down the fabric, until right above her tailbone. It was a round design with a stylized Indian face in the middle, surrounded by various rings filled with symbols he didn't recognize. "Cool," he said – a bit surprised because apparently this was the reason people had been after her.

"Thanks!"

He zipped up the dress, where after she turned around. Once again she wore a vintage dress, a black one with a tight waist and a wide skirt. From her right shoulder to halfway her left breast, the fabric was covered with white dots, and from her left thigh until below on the right, the fabric was also cut in half, with the same dots on the left side. 

It was typically a dress that only looked good on Jamie. 

"You like it?" She swayed with her dress, spinning around. 

"I think you're beautiful," he blurted out. 

_The dress, Juice. Not Jamie herself._ He felt his cheeks flush and breathed in sharply when she bit her lip shyly. 

"I'm going to dry my hair," Jamie said when they stared a bit awkwardly at each other; he didn't manage to turn away from her. 

"Yeah. I uh – won't."

He bit the inside of his cheek while turning around. Would this ever go away? He was happy Jamie was so blind to his stupidity; everyone else would have picked up on his feelings for her. 

* * *

"That tattoo... What does it mean?" he asked when they were sitting on the couch in the with balloons and streamers decorated living room. 

"It's a Mayan piece of art. One day, I saw the sketch in my uncle's office and I loved it so much I made a copy of it to get it tattooed on my back."

Art? Of a civilization that had collapsed over thousand years ago? Why would someone look for such a thing? 

"Do you know the meaning of the symbols?"

She shook her head. "They differ from the ones in the codices. Very weird. I think my uncle saw the design at an excavation of a temple and documented it. Actually it's a pretty cool discovery." She laughed. "I hoped it would bring me luck during my study and that it would awake the Indiana Jones inside of me."

Thinking of all the boobytraps Indiana Jones had been dodging, he wasn't sure it was a dream he was supportive of.

He got up, opened a drawer and took out a package. "I already wished you a happy birthday this morning, but I didn't give you my present. I rather give it before the others arrive."

_Before Esai arrives._

"Actually it suits your tattoo. What a coincidence, huh?" he asked with a smirk. _Like it's supposed to be. You and me. I hope you finally realize that too._

With a childlike enthusiasm she tore away the wrapping paper, opening the flat box. Instead of looking at the content, he studied Jamie's face. 

It costed him an arm and a leg, and he knew it was over the top. He however didn't care; others might find it inappropriate but he knew Jamie wouldn't think that way. 

Her eyes started to shine as she saw the necklace, and her lips bent into the most beautiful smile he had ever seen. 

"Wow Juice! This is so beautiful!" Her thumb stroked across the countless golden feathers, which were separated by small blue gems. 

It was quite a flashy jewel, but it suited Jamie. 

"It's a replica of the necklace that belonged to Lady Yohl Ik'nal, if I remember right. A female Mayan ruler."

"Really? That's so cool! She was buried in Palenque."

"You want me to put it on you?"

She nodded with shiny eyes, wiping her hair over her shoulder. Juice took the necklace from her, laid it around her neck and fastened it. The moment he pulled away his hands, she rushed to the bathroom. 

"So cool!" she yelled. After hopping back to him, she wrapped her arms tightly around him, kissing his cheek. "This is one of the most beautiful presents someone ever gave to me. Ha, they will all be jealous at the excavation! You really are the coolest roommate ever, Juice!"

Juice slipped his arms around her when he suspected her to step away from him. He didn't want to let go of her yet. 

He felt her warm breathing and looked down on her. When their eyes met, he felt hot all over. Her lips... They were gleaming because of the lip gloss she was wearing and seemed to scream his name. He brought his face a little closer to hers. Their noses brushed – and then he lost his self control. He folded his hand around her nape and with a raging heart, he pressed his lips against hers. 

And then, the doorbell rang. 

* * *

There was a blush on Jamie's cheeks when she opened the door. Instead of looking him in the eye, she dropped her eyes and greeted him softly. 

"Hey babe." Esai pulled her close. "Happy birthday!"

"Thank you." She pressed herself against his chest. 

A little worried he held her. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," she muttered. "I just missed you."

His lips bent into a satisfied smile and he raked a hand through her hair. "But I'm with you now and I won't leave anytime soon."

Tomorrow, her mothers and brother would come over and they would have dinner at his parent's. He was a little nervous about it, although he made sure nobody would notice. At least she would be with him until the day after tomorrow, and that prospect gave him an odd sense of relief. 

Jamie pulled back a little. She looked distracted. Even though that wasn't exactly unusual, he had expected her eyes to sparkle because it was her birthday. Maybe she was nervous, as happened often when she was organizing something. He leaned into her to kiss her, then his arm glided around her waist and he entered the house. 

The moment his eyes met Juice's, his body cramped up. The man was sitting on the couch, his demeanor telling him he felt the same. Although Esai was inclined to ignore him, he still walked over to him and held out his hand by way of a temporary peace offer. 

He didn't want to ruin Jamie's birthday – and then he realized that might be the reason she was so tense. 

Juice gave him a suspicious look, then he shook his hand. 

"Congratulations at your girlfriend's big day," he muttered. 

Esai lifted the corner of his mouth. "Yeah... good that you're here to celebrate your _roommate's_ birthday too."

He sounded bitchy, he couldn't help it. Juice looked way, the fingers of his right hand clenching into a fist. 

Esai failed miserably in hiding his smirk. Only when his face was blank again, he turned back to Jamie, settling his hands on her hips and looking her in the eye. 

"You look beautiful." Right under Juice's nose, he started to kiss her, his fingers sliding through her colorful strands. He noticed her discomfort, but right now he didn't care; he just wanted to rub in Juice's face that Jamie was _his_ Old Lady. "When will the others be here?" he asked while his hands caressed her back. "Do we have time left for a private party? Maybe this time in _your own_ bed?"

Her cheeks flushed and her eyes flashed aside. Insolently, Esai looked over his shoulder and was met by Juice's bewildered look. For the first time in his life, he winked at the Son. 

"Umm.... I think Daphne will be here soon," Jamie said. "And Sack. I don't know how late the others left."

"Kevin still had to sweep the place when I left." He knew his friend would pick up Shanty and two college girls. 

He had been a bit pushy about inviting Kevin too, the moment Jamie told him SAMCRO's prospect would be there too. Jamie had met him a few days ago. When the dog she had found gave birth, she and the prospect had spent a lot of time with the puppies. Disliking the thought of being inside a room with two Sons, he had wanted to take someone with him too, to keep the balance. Luckily, Jamie didn't make a big deal out of it as long as they promised to behave. 

"Okay," he said. "Then I'll give you your other present." He sat down on the empty couch, pulling Jamie with him. He handed her a box he took from the inner pocket of his kutte, his hand resting on her thigh when she opened it. Although he knew Jamie wasn't picky, he was still afraid that she wouldn't like it. Last week had been so chaotic he had sacrificed last day's lunch to visit the jewelry store, buying the prettiest piece within his price range.

"Oh..." she said softly at the sight of the necklace. It was made of silver; a vine with diamond leaves and a red gem in the form of a grape. Her hand glided to her neck. 

Only now, Esai saw the necklace she was wearing. It looked so good on her he hadn't noticed it was new; somehow it fitted her perfectly. His own present looked meaningless now and he felt a stab in his stomach. 

"Is that a new one?" he asked. "Did your brother sent it to you?"

He had quite a good idea of who had given her that jewel, but a part of his brain simply refused to believe it. 

"It was Juice's birthday present."

Esai snapped his head aside. This time, Juice was the one winking at him. 

He gritted his teeth. What an asshole. This wasn't the type of present one gave to a normal friend.

"It's a replica of a necklace of a Mayan Queen," Jamie explained. The enthusiasm in her voice cramped up his chest and he cursed himself for not coming up with something like that himself.

"Okay," he said gruff. "Well, then I'll bring it back."

"No, this one is beautiful too," she said quickly. Too quickly for his liking. In silence, he watched her picking up the necklace. 

She smiled, her eyes telling him she liked it – but not as much as the necklace Juice had given her. His eyes shot to the side. Anger churned inside him at the sight of his triumphant smirk. 

_It's just a gift,_ he told himself. _She's_ your _girl. You already won her heart._

Deep down, he doubted that was true. And he knew Juice was never going to give up.


	30. Whores and Angels

Juice had kissed her. 

That was the only thought that kept racing through her head. Was he in love with her after all? No — he'd told her he wasn't. But why else would he kiss her? Only to taunt Esai? Both guys were trying to tolerate each other, but she wasn't stupid; she was very aware of their stabs in the dark. 

She thought back to how her body had responded to Juice's lips against hers. It was different from how she felt when she kissed Esai; then her belly was filled with hot explosions, and sometimes she completely forgot where she was. But her lips had tingled when Juice kissed her, and in her stomach something tiny had been tickling. 

While recalling the moment, she unconsciously moved her hand to her neck, brushing the golden feathers of the necklace. It had been such a beautiful gift. She also liked the jewelry Esai had given her, but Juice's present... It might be the most beautiful thing someone had ever given to her, and it was super cool to wear a replica of the necklace of a Mayan queen. 

The doorbell rang. Jamie headed for the door, letting Daphne in. The other guests had trickled in a while ago. Their presence was a relief; now Esai and Juice had other people to talk to. She had seen the prospects of both clubs talk; they got along much better than the other two bikers. 

"Hi love." Daphne greeted her with a wide smile, pressing her lips against Jamie's mouth. "Happy birthday!"

In shock, Jamie blinked her eyes. That was the second one kissing her on the lips today — besides her boyfriend. Was this some habit in Charming she hadn't been aware of? At least it made her feel a bit less stressed about Juice's kiss — maybe that hadn't meant anything either. Now she could look him in the eye again without feeling guilty towards Esai and Daphne.

Together with Daphne she returned to the living room. 

"What kind of pie do you want?" Jamie asked. "I got cherry, apple and cream."

"A little piece of cherry please, I'm watching my weight a bit."

"Why?" Jamie asked with wide eyes. Daphne had a lovely figure. 

Daphne's glance wandered across Jamie's dress. She didn't elaborate, but something told her Daphne believed she should lose some kilo's too. 

Jamie returned to the kitchen, cut a small piece of cake for Daphne and halved the piece she'd wanted to take herself. The pies were wobbling on the platters as she brought them to the living room. Daphne was seated between Juice and Esai, where Jamie had been sitting before the bell rang. She considered to get another chair, but Esai motioned with his eyes to his lap. 

With a smile, Jamie lowered herself on his lap. Esai's arms slid around her and he pressed a kiss to her shoulder. 

"Oh, my present!" Daphne opened her purse, pulling out an elongated box. "Something every girl should have. Especially when the boys are on a run." She gave her a conspiring wink.

Jamie wasn't sure what she meant with that, yet she gave her a small smile and took the present from the girl. Carefully she took off the wrapping paper, there was a purple box in it. Curiously, she turned it around. On the couch next to her she heard Kevin chuckle, who whispered something in Shanty's ear after which the girl slapped his chest.

Jamie looked at the image on the front. Her cheeks started to glow when she realized it was a vibrator. Suddenly her mouth felt dry, she had no idea how to respond. Skittishly she looked aside. There was a smile on Daphne's lips, but it looked less friendly than before.

"Umm thanks," she muttered. "I guess."

She had a feeling everyone was staring at her and she wished she could dive into a pile of pillows. She felt Esai's lips against her shoulder. His hand glided from her knee to the inside of her thigh, a little bit below her dress. The fingertips of his other hand were stroking her stomach. 

"I'm sure we'll have some fun with that." His breathing felt hot against her skin, making her shiver. Heat pooled in her stomach and since she didn't know what to do about it, she bent her head and looked shyly at the present.

* * *

Daphne smirked at the sight of Jamie's discomfort. The people on the other couch however broke the silence and continued their conversation. She could feel Juice's eyes scorch the side of her head. 

Yeah — she'd known he wouldn't like her present. She however didn't care. He had ordered her to seduce Jamie's boyfriend, so she believed she deserved a little bit of fun too today. 

Now she had seen Esai, she could think of worse things; he was a beautiful guy. Way too handsome for someone like Jamie; she really didn't understand how she could not only attract Juice's attention, but also that of the Mayan prince. If possible, she would make sure Jamie would hate the both of them after tonight. 

Her plan required patience, especially because Esai and Jamie seemed to be glued together. Contrary to her own boyfriend, who barely acknowledged her presence. Knowing that he was only using her frustrated her to no end, but she told herself that she would get what she wanted too: Juice. Once Jamie had decided not ever to want to see him again. 

After almost an hour Jamie sat down with her school friends. Esai and the other Mayan went to the balcony to have a smoke and once they were done, she pulled Esai over before he would sit down again. 

"Hey," she said with her sweetest smile. "I don't think we've met before. I'm Daphne."

"Esai," he told her, shaking her hand. "But I'm sure you knew."

Her fingertips brushed the back of his hand as he let go of her. She only wanted to warm him up a bit, he would probably need a few more drinks to lose his inhibitions. 

Daphne was a smooth talker and a big flirt, so they chatted about all kinds of things. She laughed about his jokes, looking into his eyes a little longer than was required for a conversation, seizing every opportunity to touch him. At the same time she took a stance that was emphasizing her curves and to her satisfaction, she noticed that his eyes were often drawn to her cleavage. Men — they were all the same. 

At least her scanty clothing was enough to hold his attention for he didn't return to his friend nor to Jamie. His eyes however shot to his girlfriend now and then. Daphne wondered what was going on in his head. Did he feel ashamed of his thoughts? For the longing he felt to be inside another woman? For Daphne saw in his eyes how much he wanted her. 

Her eyes drifted to Juice, who was talking to Sack. He looked satisfied, he even showed her a little smile telling her he would spoil her tonight. Her walls clenched at the thought, making her glance more lascivious when she looked into Esai's blue eyes. She bit her lip, leaned into him and whispered: "You're joining me on the balcony?"

His eyes shot to Jamie again. He nodded. "Yeah, sure."

They headed outside. Her fingers were tingling — she actually wanted to sleep with him. Especially before Jamie would do so. 

"So... You're with Jamie for three weeks now, right?" she asked, leaning against the balustrade. "But I know guys like you... It has to be hard to wait. And well — you picked a nun." She tilted her head. "I guess she sticks to cuddling, right?"

Esai said nothing. There was a lustful look in his eyes. She placed a hand on his stomach and leaned into him, her fingertips stroking the skin right above his waistband. "Don't you want to go wild for just one night? Your girl doesn't have to find out about it..." Her hand glided down, stroking his crotch, her touch making him hard. She smirked smugly. "Think about all the things I can do to you..." she whispered in his ear, kissing his neck. "It will take years before Jamie is as skilled as I am." She nipped at the flesh of his neck, pressing her body against his. "I know you want me. I can feel it."

She looked up to him. In silence he stared down at her. He couldn't hold back much longer, she was sure of it. She leaned closer to him, wanted to press her lips against his. 

Before their lips touched, he suddenly grabbed her throat and squeezed. Daphne's eyes were almost popping out of her head. He moved his face close to hers. 

"You think I'm an idiot?" he grumbled. "You think I don't know that Juice sent his little whore to me?"

Daphne started to panic when he kept squeezing her throat. There was a dark look in his eyes, one that scared her. He wouldn't kill her right? Not here on the balcony?

"Esai?" a small voice sounded. "What — what are you doing?"

He let go of her. Daphne coughed, sucking in oxygen. The world was spinning around her. She looked over her shoulder; Jamie was standing in the doorway, next to Juice. The guy had probably hoped to see them share a kiss. 

"Why don't you ask your adorable roommate?" Esai answered grimly. "He tells his whore to seduce me, hoping I will cheat on you." Huffing, he looked at Juice, who had became pale. "But some of us actually have taste. Even when I'm blind drunk, I wouldn't trade that street whore for my angel."


	31. Man of Secrets

Jamie looked back and forth between the two guys. She didn't understand what happened. Juice had talked to her for a while, until he mentioned he felt warm. She'd followed him to the balcony — and there she had been a witness of how her boyfriend was strangling Daphne! And now... now he claimed that Juice had wanted Esai to cheat on her right before her eyes. 

"Is that true?" she asked Juice eventually. She'd wanted to sound shrill, but it was a broken whisper which left her lips. "Did you ask Daphne to do this?"

"Of course not," Juice answered. He avoided her glance. 

Daphne rolled her eyes. "You suck at lying, Juice. You told me to wear this dress and to seduce your rival. It was my _duty_ , as an old lady, you told me."

She turned her face back to Juice. He bent his head and stared at the floor, ashamed. "I'm sorry Jamie," he muttered. 

Jamie felt the tears sting in her eyes. Immediately she was no longer in the mood to party, and she turned around and rushed to her bedroom. Sitting down on the bed, she wrapped a blanket around herself. Right through the walls she could hear Juice and Esai scream at each other. She wrapped her hands in front of her face. How could Juice do something so mean? Why couldn't he accept Esai as her boyfriend? 

She flinched when someone knocked at the door. She didn't respond. Juice was the last person on earth she wanted to see right now and Esai... Esai was probably very pissed. 

It however was a soft, female voice calling her name. Shanty. 

"Jamie? Can I come in?"

She sniffled quietly. Whether the confirmation really passed her lips, was hard to tell. Nevertheless, the door opened. The moment Shanty saw her, she slipped into the room, closed the door and wrapped her arms around her friend. 

"What's going on?"

Jamie wiped her eyes, telling her softly what had happened. "And I — I just don't understand why Juice would do such a thing," she ended her story, sobbing. "I thought we were friends. Why can't he be happy for me? Esai never did anything wrong, it's all because of their stupid clubs."

Shanty took her hand and waited until Jamie had blinked away enough tears to look her in the eye. "Juice is love with you, Jamie," she said quietly. "I heard them scream. He's jealous. And people do stupid things when they're jealous."

Jamie wrapped her arms tighter around her knees. A while back she might have laughed about the suggestion, but now Juice had kissed her a couple hours ago, she wondered if it could be really true. 

"I don't know what to do," she muttered. 

"I'm afraid there isn't much you can do. Juice will have to accept that you can't return his feelings and that Esai can make you happy. At first, I also had my doubts about Esai, but I've seen how he looks at you. Like you're the most beautiful being on earth."

Jamie blushed. Then, she got up. "I need to talk to Juice. Before they bash each other's head open."

As Jamie returned to the living room, Esai was behind the sink, washing the blood off his face. Juice was nowhere to be seen. The other guests looked a bit awkwardly at her. Jamie wrapped her arms around herself. She had expected her birthday to be so different. Walking over to Esai, she laid a hand on his shoulder. "You okay?"

As he turned his face aside, she saw that his lip was split. His eye was swollen too. "I will be," he muttered. "But I think I can better go home. You should talk to Juice and explain to him that you don't feel the same way about him as he feels about you." He hesitated. "Or maybe you do — then I wish you'd just tell me."

She slipped her arms around him. He was the one making her heart beat faster, not Juice. He looked more vulnerable than she'd ever seen him. "I will talk to him." She looked up, very gently she pressed a kiss to his hurt lips. "You're the one I'm in love with, Esai. I will tell it to him once more. But please, don't go home. This birthday sucks without you."

He sighed. "Okay, fine. Although I'm afraid the mood is ruined."

Jamie turned her head aside. Two girls from the excavation were whispering; their shocked faces telling her they had been spooked by the fight between the two boys. The two prospects didn't look at each other either, as if they were supposed to hate each other now. 

"Did he leave the house?"

Esai shrugged his shoulders. "I guess."

Jamie pecked his lips once more, then she gave the others an apologetic look and left the apartment. She hated arguing. There was no point in postponing a conversation, it would only eat her from the inside. She found Juice outside. He was sitting on the curb, a cigarette between his lips while he stared forward. Through his shirt she could see how tense he was. Hesitantly, she sat down next to him. 

Peeking aside, he heaved a sigh. He said nothing. 

Jamie wrapped her arms around her knees. "Is it true?" she asked quietly. "Are you in love with me?"

He turned his face away. "Does it matter? Esai's the one you want to be with anyway. Believe me — I've tried to tolerate him but I just can't stand him. I still believe he's using you."

Bending her head, she stared at the paving beneath her, wondering if his jealousy made him suspicious or whether there was something else.

"You want me to start looking for another home?"

Juice snapped his head aside. "What? No... Unless... Unless you feel awkward around me now. Now you know how I feel about you." He bit his lip, his cheeks turning red. 

Jamie couldn't help it; inside her stomach something was tingling. He really was sweet. But was he sweeter than Esai? She leaned with her chin on her knees. It would make her very sad if she could no longer see Esai, but the same went for Juice. 

"If you'd never met Esai... You think you would have given me a chance?" he asked quietly. 

Jamie thought about it. Probably. But she wondered if he would have made her feel the way Esai made her feel. "But I did meet him, Juice."

"Yeah." Sighing, he rubbed his face. "I'm sorry Jamie. It was a dirty trick, to ask Daphne to seduce Esai."

Jamie felt a pang in her chest. She didn't know what to answer.

"I think I'll stay in the clubhouse for a while," he said. 

She gave it some thought. Maybe it was indeed better. But she didn't like to live alone, and the thought that she might lose a good friend hurt. 

"You think it will make your feelings go away?"

He shrugged his shoulders. "At least I won't be confronted with them all day long." He sighed deeply. "I've never been in love. I don't know how to stop it. And I don't know how to act normal around your boyfriend."

Jamie sucked in her bottom lip. She would neither know how to stop her feelings for Esai. It would also hurt her to see him with another girl, so she understood why it was so hard for Juice. Maybe they indeed needed some distance. 

"You rather stay in the clubhouse? I can look for another place to live..."

"I just need some time, I guess. I'll get over it." He looked aside, smiling sadly. "I'm sure every roommate will be a disappointment after you."

Jamie dropped her head to the side, until it rested against his shoulder. "I neither want a different roommate. You're the best friend I've had since a long time. Despite what you did today."

* * *

Not long after, Juice left. Jamie planned to start the Playstation and asked if he really wanted to go, but he thought it was wiser to leave. He felt ashamed. Not only towards Jamie, towards everyone who had been around. He must have looked terribly desperate...

And yet, Juice couldn't let go of it. 

Yet, he was in a cafetaria next day, with Jamie's brother on the other side of the table. There were still a lot of things he wanted to know, even though he knew Roman wasn't going to tell them in a public place like this.

"I wanted to tell you something," Juice started when their coffee was served. All night long he had been tossing and turning, wondering if he should do this or not. Maybe she would consider this as troubling her relationship, but Juice was still worried about her. Admitted — Esai's feelings might be real. That however didn't mean that his father or the club had no plans with Jamie. And the tattoo he had seen, the knowledge that people were looking for her and the Mayan's symbol that belonged to the same style as the tattoo... There were too many coincidences. 

Roman looked up. His blue eyes were sharp, there was a curious glistening in them. "Okay."

Juice took a deep breath. "Well — as you know, Jamie has a boyfriend. A Mayan — a biker from another club than mine. Since the beginning I have this feeling that Esai's interest in Jamie isn't exactly... pure. He admitted it himself. He might truly love her, but I just know that at least his father has a secret agenda." He paused, wondering how to put the rest of his thoughts into words. "I've seen the tattoo," he decided to simply tell him. "A Mayan design. Maybe it's a coincidence, that she's with someone who calls himself a Mayan... But I'm just worried about her. And since you're going to meet Esai's family tonight, I thought you might want to know this. Then you can judge him yourself. She won't listen to my warnings, but maybe she will listen to you."

Roman studied his face. "If there's a connection, I'll find out about it. And if I believe Esai is a threat to her, I will deal with him too."

His decisive words made Juice blink. Jamie's brother looked like a good student, but something told him he liked to fool others. It was definitely a man of secrets. 

"Thanks," he said. 

Guilt flared up at the hope that Roman would put an end to the relationship between Jamie and the Mayan. But he couldn't help it. He wanted her to himself. And his interest in her was pure. He would never use her like he knew Esai was going to do, sooner or later. 


	32. Under Siege

Esai was charming — there was no denying that. He answered the questions of their mothers patiently, made them laugh and Roman saw his little sister's face beam, every time the biker smiled at her, squeezed her hand or simply answered her glance. Diana, his mother, was also a friendly woman. The father, Marcus, however was quieter and didn't seem to feel very comfortable. Roman thought back to Juice's words. Every word the man had spoken had been dripping with jealousy, but he really seemed to worry about Jamie's safety. And since the guy was in a motorgang, he couldn't simply shove his suspicions aside. 

Roman took his beer from the table and sipped, then he turned towards Marcus. No matter how many patches the man would sew to his black jacket, it wouldn't scare him off. The tougher men tried to look, the bigger their hearts were. The people who were the most dangerous were the ones you wouldn't expect it from. 

People like him. 

"Are you the club's president for a long time?" he asked Marcus. 

He had no idea if he was on thin ice now, but he would find out soon enough. The motorclub however seemed to be an important part of his life, so Roman believed it was a normal question. 

The man studied his face, seemed to conclude that he was no threat. "I founded the motorclub, fifteen years ago. There were MC's for black and white, but not for us."

Roman thought it was quite obsolete to hold on to one's race, but he didn't say it out loud. After all, he didn't belong to minorities, so what could he _really_ say about it? Somehow he found it amusing that they derived their name from a culture that wasn't theirs, a culture that had been overrun by the Spaniards centuries ago. The Mayans weren't something typically Mexican — all though _Taco MC_ or _Mariachi MC_ didn't sound very threatening _._ Naming yourself after a dominant, warring, high-sophisticated culture made more sense. 

"And how many people are in a club?" he asked, genuinely interested. 

He however knew a bit about motorclubs, after all he'd talked about it with Juice too. 

"There are twenty charters spread over the US and Mexico."

Roman nodded slowly. "And the fact that Jamie's roommate is a member of a different club... that isn't a problem?"

The eyes of the clubpresident narrowed, but Roman kept an innocent expression on his face. He could imagine the man had an opinion about it. Marcus' glance slid away and rested upon Jamie. 

"She's not a threat," he said. 

Roman didn't know if he believed him. 

Once Marcus looked him in the eye again, he was sure he didn't believe him.

* * *

Esai believed the evening was going well. At least better than the time he introduced Jamie to his family. His father was quiet, although it didn't stop Roman from asking questions. Questions his father didn't feel comfortable with, although Esai kept in mind that his father wasn't approving of his relationship with Jamie anyway. He wondered if the blond guy had missed his true calling as a psychologist, for he asked deep questions about things Esai had never given a thought; about his parents' youth and the foundation of the club. In turn, Roman told them about the buildings he had designed the past years and his current project. 

Jamie's mothers were nice too. Mitsy was a bit dreamy, only answering when someone asked her a direct question. Lola however was a smooth talker, making sure there were no silences. He wondered if she talked so much because she felt a little nervous; he knew Jamie couldn't stop talking either when she was nervous. Would one of them be her biological mother? He found himself comparing their noses, lips and eyes trying to find similarities. Here and there she shared characteristics with both women, but he could be imagining things too. She might as well be adopted. In the end, he decided it didn't matter. She considered Mitsy and Lola as her parents, that was the only thing that counted. 

After eating the enchiladas, Roman nudged his shoulder. "Wanna have a smoke?"

A smoke. Today, it was code for having a talk with your girlfriend's big brother. That idea was confirmed when Jamie wanted to follow them outside; discreetly, Roman shook his head. Hesitating, she stood still. 

Esai leaned into her, kissing the corner of her mouth. "Every good brother wants to have a little talk with his baby sister's boyfriend, don't worry."

He would do it too, when Tessa came home with a guy in a year or fifteen. 

He headed to the back door, waited until Roman left the house and closed it. He couldn't help but feel a little nervous. None of his exes had had an older brother and he knew Jamie looked up to hers. If Roman had a problem with him too, things wouldn't become easier for them. They sat down on two chairs with views on the flower garden, in which his mother put an awful amount of effort. Their whole garden was flowery, sometimes he had the feeling his mother needed a lively garden because the lives of her husband and son were already covered in blood. Taking a cigarette from the box, he offered one to Roman. 

The man shook his head. "I quit a year ago."

Esai nodded slowly. "So... What do you wanna know?" he asked straight-forwardly. 

Roman leaned back. "Good question. Juice wanted to talk to me this morning. He didn't exactly sing you praises."

Esai huffed. What an asshole. Yesterday he'd done something pretty fucked up, but as it seemed he hadn't learned from his mistakes since he had tried to warn Jamie's _brother_ now. "He's in love with her too," he said. 

"Yeah, I saw that."

An awkward silence fell. What could he say? 

"What does your father want with her?"

The question was a little unexpected and confused he looked aside. The switch from Juice to his father was quite abrupt. "What?"

"Your father considers her as a threat."

"No," he muttered. He bit the inside of his cheek, wondering whether he could tell him more. After taking a drag from his cigarette, he sighed. "When Jamie walked into our clubhouse to find a ride and I found out that her roommate was a Son, I believed it was a chance to get closer to the Sons." His eyes flashed aside. He had expected to see harsh lines on Roman's face, but he looked still relaxed. It encouraged him to continue. "That way, I would have access to his house. Juice is a hacker, there has to be some important shit on his laptop. If I could steal it, I would be a lucky man." Although he still felt ashamed about the way he had used Jamie, he dared to be open about it. By now, he knew Juice wouldn't leave his laptop lying around anyway. "But then I fell in love with her. Fast. Hard." He paused. "I told her. That my intentions hadn't been pure, but that I fell for her on our first date and that I hadn't been interested in other girls ever since." He breathed out the smoke and watched it drift away. "In my father's eyes I failed. He doesn't believe Jamie can be a good Old Lady. It's nothing personal — he didn't like my exes either. He just wants me to pick one of the club whores. Girls who know the club life, who know when to keep their mouths shut or not." He glanced aside, longing for a glimpse of Jamie through the window. The curtains however were closed. "He says I chose her over the club," he sighed. "And that I'm not loyal. And —"

Suddenly, there were gunshots. Breaking glass. Screams. 

Esai froze. 

Roman was the first to jump up, and numbly Esai registered how he drew a gun. A gun. Why was Jamie's brother carrying a gun? Shaking off the thought, he jumped up too and ran towards the door, following Roman inside. 

People were still shooting. It felt like someone was squeezing his throat when he saw his mother on the floor, bleeding. His father stood close to the window and fired in the darkness, Roman turned around and ran outside, probably to near their attackers from the side. 

Esai's eyes shot through the room. His sister, where was his baby sister? Again his glance was drawn to his mother. Tears jumped into his eyes and he fell on his knees beside her. "Mom?" he said, his voice trembling. 

There was a growing blood stain on her chest and her breathing sounded troubled. Past him, she looked at the ceiling. Again, his one year old sister crossed his mind and he looked around. Suddenly his eye caught Jamie; she was hiding under the table, her back towards the window. She had wrapped her arms around Tessa. 

He heard her talk to the little girl. The words didn't reach his ears, but the sound of her voice was enough to make him think clearer. He got up and rushed to the kitchen to find a cloth to staunch the blood. He pressed it into the hands of one of Jamie's mothers, who were hiding behind the couch, and told her to put pressure on the wound. Then he ran up the stairs to find a window from which he might have sight on the shooters. 

His heart was racing in his chest, frantically he blinked his eyes to banish the image of his bleeding mother. A tear slipped down his cheek as he slammed open his bedroom door and headed to the window. While Spanish curses slipped his lips, he started to fire at the men who were hiding behind a car. 


	33. Targets

It felt as if hours had passed by before another car pulled up. The doors opened and the three shooters climbed into the vehicle, taking off with tires squealing. Esai's heart was leaping in his chest. Again and again he saw the image of his mother lying on the floor, followed by images of Jamie and Tessa lying dead under the table. Once he was sure the men were gone, he ran downstairs. Paramedics had entered the house through the back door, already taking care of his mother. Before he could ask how she was, Jamie flew her arms around him, holding him tight. She wasn't crying, but he could feel her tremble. He wrapped his arms around her, pulling her against chest. 

"It's over baby," he said in a shaky voice. Taking a deep breath, he buried his nose in her hair. "It's over."

He was proud of her, proud because she hadn't panicked. Instead, she had taken care of his little sister. His father had been wrong. She was the perfect Old Lady. Raking his fingers through her hair, he pulled back his face to look at her. Her skin was pale, her eyes wide. 

"You okay?" he asked quietly. 

She nodded, over his shoulder she looked at his mother. A moment later, her glance wandered off to Tessa, who was still hiding under the table. 

"I'll take her upstairs," she whispered. "She shouldn't see her mom like this."

Esai nodded. Leaning into her, he kissed her lips, then he let go of her. While Jamie helped his sister from under the table, Esai turned to his father, who had knelt down next to his wife and was holding her hand while the paramedics were examining her. 

"Is it bad?" he asked his father. 

Marcus looked up, the restlessness in his eyes causing a stab in his stomach. "She lost a lot of blood."

Esai nodded. His glance was drawn back to her body; the sight of all the blood made him feel sick. She had closed her eyes, seemed to have lost her consciousness. He was relieved that she wasn't in any pain right now, but it also scared him. Did this mean that her body was losing the fight? One didn't lose his consciousness without a good reason... 

His mother was hoisted on a gurney, his father got on his feet and laid a hand on Esai's shoulder. "I'm glad you and your girl are okay, son."

Esai nodded quietly. 

"I'll go to the hospital with your mom. Can you inform the others?"

"Yeah."

His father squeezed his shoulder, then he followed the paramedics outside. Esai took a deep breath. Once he was sure that his voice was no longer trembling, he called Norberto, his vicepresident. Briefly he described the shooting, telling him his mother had been transferred to the hospital. 

"Is there anything we can do?"

Esai looked around. The place was torn to pieces. "Maybe you can sent a few girls to clean the place up? And a prospect to get a new window. It's a fucking mess around here, man."

"Got it. The rest of us will go to the hospital. Was it Ramirez?"

"I wouldn't know who else."

"I'll let someone ask around, there have to be witnesses."

"Okay, thanks." Esai ended the call and put the device away. 

A little awkwardly he turned to Jamie's mothers who had retreated to the kitchen. Strangely they looked less shocked than he'd expected. He thought back to the gun Roman had carried, making him wonder if they had been faced with danger before. 

Just when he wanted to ask them where Roman had gone to, someone opened the front door. Jamie's brother stood still in the doorway between the hallway and the living room, motioning Esai to come over. Esai walked over to him, noticing the blood stain on his sleeve. 

"You're hit?"

"Just a graze," the man answered indifferently. "Who did this?"

"Club enemies," he muttered. He couldn't give too much details, even though he understood that Roman had probably concluded that he was nothing but a danger to his little sister. It wasn't something he could disagree with, and if he was honest, all this made him doubt his relationship too. He didn't want her to get hurt. At the same time, he knew he couldn't push everyone away just because he was afraid they would get hurt. "They never attacked our house before," he said. It sounded like a weak defense. "It's a kind of unwritten rule, y'know? Leavin' kids and women out of our shit."

"Then how can you be sure this were club enemies?"

Esai shrugged his shoulders. "Who else could it be?"

Roman studied his face, then he looked around. "Where's Jamie?"

"Upstairs, with Tessa."

The man sighed. "Okay. I gotta tell you something, but not here."

Esai followed Roman outside, who walked to his rental car and leaned against the hood. Esai came to stand next to him, giving him a questioning look. What was going on? 

"Jamie has a tattoo on her back."

"Yeah," he said. "Some kind of Mayan symbol, right?"

"It has characteristics of both Mayan and Aztec designs. Researchers believe it's some intermediate culture, of which only one center is known. The symbol was depicted on a giant tile in the middle of a temple floor. My uncle was studying the place, he was the one documenting the symbol. Not much later the temple was destroyed and my uncle possessed the only documentation. Its value was still unknown, he left it lying around in his study and that's where Jamie found it. Only later, he discovered that the symbol contained an instruction to find a lost city, possibly the fabulous El Dorado."

"The golden city," Esai understood. There were a hundred movies about that topic, and therefore it felt like Roman was reading him a movie script. He felt the urge to laugh, but the serious look in Roman's eyes and the image of his bleeding mother stopped him from doing so. 

"Exactly. My uncle's study was raided while my uncle was somewhere in the middle of nowhere, his wife was tortured to extract information. She however wasn't able to say anything, for my uncle had taken his laptop and camera with him and Jamie had borrowed the sketch, not suspecting anything."

There was a stinging feeling in his stomach. "And you think they know Jamie has that tattoo."

"My uncle destroyed all the evidence — the tattoo is the only source that is still accessible to them. I don't know how they found out about it, maybe they came across a picture."

Esai was silent for a while, trying to get his thoughts in order. "She doesn't know, does she?"

"No."

"Why don't you erase the tattoo? Black it out?"

"How would you explain that to her?"

He shrugged his shoulders. 

"You know my sister. She is curious. If she knew there was a coded message on that tattoo, she would try to crack the code. She's an archaeologist, after all. She would leave traces on the internet and they would find her. Even when the tattoo is gone, they'd want to have her because her memory is their only lead."

"Or her uncle's memory, right?"

Roman nodded. "But a young girl is easier to break."

Esai ran a hand across his face. "Damn. That's quite something, huh?"

"Last year I led them into an ambush and I killed them. Later however I heard that at least one of them made it to the hospital; and I don't know what happened to him since. I deemed the risk very low... but now I'm wondering if I made a mistake..."

"Things have been turbulent lately," Esai said. "We're in a fight with a street gang, there are two deaths on their side. I think this was payback."

Especially because _he_ had been the one pulling the trigger. He however didn't say it out loud, he had no idea how Roman would react and he didn't want Jamie to know that he was a killer. 

"Keep me posted, okay? If there is a chance that Jamie was today's target, I need to know."

Esai nodded. "I will. If you keep me posted about that group as well."

"Obviously. But don't try to look into them; you will only increase the chance of them finding her."

Esai agreed, there after both guys pushed themselves away from the car and went back inside.


	34. Distance

Jamie was sitting in a corner of the clubhouse, playing with the five puppies of the bulldog she and Juice had found at the side of the road. Since Juice didn't live in their apartment anymore, she went more often to the clubhouse. He'd told her he didn't mind. Jamie was happy about it; she hated the silence at home and she just wanted to have people around her. Especially Happy, Half Sack and Tig often squatted down next to her to play with the puppies. It was funny. Happy was a really tough guy, but the moment he sat down on his knees to pet the puppies, the sullen expression melted off his face, making him look like a whole different person. 

She was relieved she could go to this place after a day of work. Esai didn't have much time for her. They were in a gang war and he didn't want to be seen with her. She understood — after all, his mom had been in the hospital for five days because of the shooting at their house. Yet, she wasn't even allowed to help his mother — she wasn't allowed to go to Oakland at all. Now two weeks had passed, it started to bother her. 

She got it that he had to care for his mom and that he was busy with the club, but was there really no time to visit her? Juice no longer lived in the apartment and that was because of _him._ This morning she'd sent another text telling him she missed him and asking him if he knew when they could see each other again, but up to now she hadn't heard from him. She tried not to make a big deal out of it, but she couldn't help to doubt herself. Had she done something wrong? Shouldn't she have hidden under the table when the shooting started? But she'd wanted to protect the little Tessa. Was it because of Esai's father? Had he finally convinced his son that she wasn't good enough for him? Or was it because of what had happened on her birthday? Did he believe she returned Juice's feelings? 

Jamie looked aside when she felt a hand on her shoulder. Gemma showed her a smile. "Would you like to help to prepare the meal for tonight?"

The words caused a blush on her cheeks. It wasn't the first time the woman asked her this. It made her feel good — as if she was really welcome in the clubhouse. As if she belonged in this place. She nodded, got up and followed the woman to the kitchen. 

There were also other women busy cooking. Girls who were hang-arounds and also some of the biker's girlfriends. Would there also be girls cooking in the Mayan's clubhouse? She never had dinner with Esai's brothers, she'd never met the other Old ladies. She felt more welcome here than there, even though they knew she was in love with their rival. 

As she helped to set the table an hour later, she saw Juice leave the hallway leading to the bedrooms. 

"Hey," he said, offering her a smile that caused a little tickle her stomach. 

She missed him too, she realized. "Hey." Clumsily, she shuffled her feet, the pan still in her hands. "Gemma asked me to stay for dinner. I hope — I hope you don't mind?"

"Of course not," he said quickly. "Come on, give me that."

He took the heavy pan from her. Her eyes shot to his when their fingers slightly brushed. It made her cheeks flush and quickly she returned to the kitchen. 

This happened because she was missing Esai. Because she felt lonely. Because she knew he was in love with her. Pressing her hand against her chest, she felt how her heart was raging. 

This made no sense! This was _Juice_ , her best friend!

* * *

Annoyed, Esai pushed the umpteenth club girl away. It drove him crazy; their hands sliding down his shoulders, their sweet breath brushing his ear, their exaggerated laughs. There was only one girl whose attention he wanted and he wouldn't get it anytime soon. Maybe not ever. The threat was still ringing in his ears. He had just visited his mother in the hospital when a woman waited for him and pushed him against the wall in an alley. Her eyes full of hatred. 

_"You better get used to this, Esai Alvarez. To visiting your loved ones in the hospital. You murdered my brother and my lover and we won't rest until you know our pain."_

Goosebumps spread across his arms now he thought back to her venomous voice. 

It wasn't a misunderstanding. Her name was Mia and she'd lost her boyfriend the night Esai had tortured him. The night Jamie had came to the clubhouse when the prospect told him he was cheating on her. Apparently, the man had died because of his injuries. Something Esai felt terribly guilty about, but he couldn't do anything about it anymore. 

Subsequently, they retaliated and his mother was hit. 

In turn there had been another shooting in which Mia's brother had died. She belonged to a rich family who was getting more and more influence in the city; according to his father, they had ties to a cartel, which was why Esai was very serious about her threat. He knew Jamie was in danger. 

He had to cut ties with her. Had to end their relationship. 

But how? Would she just let him shove her aside? After what happened at his house, she hadn't run from him. It hadn't been shocking enough to break up with him. 

And so, he was working on an idea to end their relationship. He chewed the inside of his cheek, contemplating his options. 

There was one thing not a single woman would forgive easily. Something she'd already been afraid of once. 

Maybe he should go for her weak spot, even though he knew he would lose her forever. If he gave her up, Juice was going to take his place. 

The thought caused a bitter taste in his mouth. 

But Esai loved her. He didn't want her to die because of his feelings for her. 

He slipped off his bar stool, went outside and stared into the dark night. 

He had no choice. 

Jamie just needed a little bit of encouragement to come to the clubhouse and he knew how to get her here — with help of someone who couldn't wait to see them part. 


End file.
